That Moment When...

I recall being in the fifth grade. Our assignment was to choose a color and write a poem about that color. We were told the only requirement was that the poem had to rhyme.

I chose brown. Not sure why, I suppose because I thought brown was an easy word to rhyme with. I remember that day so vividly, I was so proud to read my poem to the class. I remember the rhythm and flow of the poem, "brown is you, brown is me, brown is the color of a little baby..." I was certain that my teacher would be proud of me. She was not.

Instead, after I finished reading the poem, she said "You did not write this poem." I insisted that I had indeed written the poem. She became angry and persisted that I had not written the poem. She became so angry that she snatched the poem from my hands, ripped the paper into pieces and tossed the pieces into the trash. She did this in front of the entire class and that is where my gift laid for 30 plus years. Ripped into shreds in a tin trash can, at a small private Lutheran school, in St. Louis City.

All I remember doing was crying. I never shared what happened that day with my mom, not sure why. I did not realize until I was well into my thirties that I had a gift of writing. I did not realize how that incident in that classroom impacted me. My fifth-grade teacher's actions suppressed my gift of writing. To this very day her actions and my in-actions still haunt me.

One of my goals in life have always been to write a book. However, I was hesitant and afraid of rejection. I would tell myself, "you don't have anything to say worth writing about," "even if you write a book, no one will read it, no one will like it." Lies. Yes, we lie to ourselves more than we care to admit. I know I do.

I read Priscilla Shirer's book Fervent, it was a gift given to me by my dear friend Bridget. I recall in the book that she shared a story about her friend who wanted to start her own business. Priscilla asked her what was holding her back and the friend responded, "I'm scared." Priscilla responded, "So what! do it anyway!"

I loved the book Fervent, so much that I purchased the book on tape and listened to it twice. Why? So that Pricilla's powerful, scripture based, and inspiring words would soak into my spirit, into my psyche. I took no further action regarding the book I had started writing nearly eight years ago, even after being so inspired. Until, I met the women of the Mosaic Ceiling Conference. I was asked to speak as a guest on a panel and of course I was tempted to decline the invitation. Why? Because I was afraid. The words "So what, do it anyway!" popped in my head. I accepted that invitation, and boy am I glad I did! I met so many beautiful, powerful, confident and amazingly successful women of color that day. They had written books, started businesses, served as Key Note Speakers for large corporations, and traveled the world helping large organizations solve problems, all things that I have always wanted to do but was too afraid.

I left that women's conference that day totally inspired and motivated to do it anyway. So, I did! I am so very happy, proud, humbled, excited, and scared, yes, scared (in my best Midwestern accent) to announce the launch of my first book, Moments an Inspirational Devotional Journal: Stories and Words to Inspire, Confront and Conquer Everyday Life Situations with a forward written by my dear friend and colleague Bridget Mitchell, for whom I am forever grateful.

The book is available from the publishing company Authorhouse, Amazon and Barnes & Noble. (Links below)

Authorhouse  Amazon  Barnes & Noble