A Moment of Reflection...

If you asked me one year ago where I think I would be today (in 2021), the answer I would have given you then would be absolutely different to where I am now. At the start of each year, I often ask myself in reflection, “Am I in a better place or am I worst off than I imagined a year ago?” I think I have learnt the answer to that question, right now I am where I’m meant to be. 

2020 hasn’t been an easy year by any stretch of the imagination. It started off with the bushfires followed by a global pandemic - which turned a lot of people’s lives up side down. Mine included. Through it all though, for me personally, I am grateful for 2020. The year has been a year of growth, new opportunities, expanding horizons and new discoveries, but at the same time full of challenges, heartache and plenty of discomfort. 

So yes, 2020 wasn’t easy but in hindsight I can see that everything happened for a reason. At the start of “COVID” I was lucky to be given an opportunity to continue to work, to lean on my “skill set” but also try something different & new, which I am very much appreciative of. Than towards the middle of the year it progressed to working two jobs and up to 60 hours per week. I tell you what, balancing two jobs, a family and trying to have time for myself, I have full respect to parents that work two or more jobs - it isn’t easy, but I get it, you do what you have to do! But for me doing what I did, well I was a shadow of myself and something had to give. 

And what gave way was (what I thought was) my career, in an industry I have known for over 15 years because of a bad choice. For the next few weeks following this I was in a really dark place. On the outside I might have appeared to be my normal self, but on the inside I was a mess, I was confused, continually dwelled in that decision over & over. I’m thankful for a select few friends that continually checked in on me - you don’t know how much it helped me.

I can see now that something had to give; the “pressure of balancing it all” got too much and continually taking shortcuts took its toll. I guess it was the world telling me it was time to move on & made the choice for me as I didn’t want to choose one or the other.

As narrow minded as this is, but I have always thought that I had skill set was “niche” to the a certain industry and I guess have always been “scared” to venture away from what I know. I joked about wanting to go to another industry but never did. So I guess 2020 pushed me out of my comfort zone and got me to try something new.

2020 has been such a pressure cooker and it certainly wasn’t plain sailing but as I have mentioned, it was what I needed. Years like 2020 really does molds you and shapes you. As Henry Kissinger quoted, “A diamond is a chunk of coal that did well under pressure” and how did I handle the pressure? I’m here on the other side right? 

A diamond is a chunk of coal that did well under pressure. - Henry Kissinger 

So after a year like 2020, what do I want out of 2021? What are my goals? What do I want to achieve? What are my ambitions. I think for the first time in a long time I’m not “restricted” to my “career” in where I want this year to go. One of the things 2020 taught me was that I needed to be adaptable, don’t be so fixed in my way that I miss that next opportunity. But what is it I want to achieve in 2021? 

I want to be a leader - not just a shift lead by title, but I want to be a leader in what I do. I wrote on my LinkedIn profile, “Leading by what I do, not by my title” - this was written when I was just an an associate. I got into the mindset that it doesn’t matter that I don’t have a leader/manager in my title, but I will be a leader, be a good example and it paid off. But for me this year I want to continue to be a leader, be a person of influence but more than that, a mentor. 

Leading by what I do, not by my title

Being a mentor is something I haven’t done in a while. Looking back at my time at the Hydro Majestic, I had a whole team I mentored and I stretched myself thin and I got burnt out. But now I want to be in a position where I want and can make a positive influence in someone’s career/life. One of the compliments one of my colleagues gave me was that I’m like her “work dad” & I’ll take that. I think I’m in a place where I can assist in cultivating the next generation of leaders! 

I want to be a student - to learn and grow. I think 2020 has taught me to lean on my strengths but challenge yourself to do something new. To push the boundaries. To put myself in a position of growth. But I know if I’m putting myself out there, there is a chance of failing. But 2020 has taught me that you can fail, but failing doesn’t make you a failure -  but rather it’s what you learnt from your failings. It’s about how you get back on your feet and try again; just like the famous words/lyrics of Aaliyah said,

“If at first you don't succeed, (First you don't succeed), Then dust yourself off and try again, You can dust if off and try again, try again”

Lastly, I want to follow my passion; do what I love. “When you love what you do, is it really work?” That’s an idea I have floated out before and now I want to live by it! So what are my passions? If you have been following me for a bit, you might guess I like photography; whether I’m any good at it, that’s a different story. But I do want to continue with it and utilise my @rayschani handle/name to express myself more. 

And I don’t know if you can tell, I also like to write. I want to challenge myself this year to write more. Be more expressive and “jot down” the lessons I’ve learnt along the way so I can share it with those who want to read it. I don’t know, I might start blogging again? Some subject matter I want to write include “Dick Grayson” and “The anonymity of a call centre agent”. Let me know if you’d be interested in reading that? 

So that’s me in a nutshell. But why did I write all this? (And if you are still with me - thank you). I want to share who I am and what my ambitions are for 2021? I want to be accountable - I want to see this time next year where I am in this journey called life. 

Where do I see myself this time next year? I don’t want to be concerned by titles & positions, this year I just want to grow; I want to be a leader, a mentor, follow my passions and who knows what doors will open up for me. 

All I know is that I will be where I am meant to be!