A Moment Of Neglect A Lifetime Of Regret

On December 21, 2017, a very dear friend of mine, Mary made a terrible decision. Let me tell you about it.................

I remember the day I met Mary. It was over three decades ago in the parking lot at the school our children attended. We chatted while we were waiting for the bell to ring. We were both surprised to learn that we had so much in common. Obviously, our sons attended the same school. We were newcomers to Salt Lake City, Utah. We belonged to the same church and we lived in the same neighborhood.

Soon after our meeting in the schoolyard, Mary invited our family over to celebrate a tradition that was foreign to us - Thanksgiving. That's where I began to learn what a talented and gifted person Mary is. We parked in the driveway and sat for a moment to admire her immaculate garden. We assumed it was cared for by a professional landscape company. Turns out Mary enjoyed gardening. She spent hours planting a wide variety of flowers and trimming the beautiful hedges. She also designed and built a beautiful pond with a fabulous waterfall she made out of rocks. Koi fish glided elegantly through the water.

When George (Mary's husband) opened the door the aroma of Thanksgiving dinner filled the air. Mary came to greet us. She was wearing an apron that was covered with beautiful colored flowers. Mary invited us into her beautiful kitchen. Bowls of assorted vegetables stood side by side on the counter. Mary continued carving the turkey. George took us into the dining room and showed off the assorted pies Mary had cooked. The pie crusts and toppings were are work of art. It was obvious Mary was an accomplished chef.

After dinner George and Mary took us for a tour of their beautiful home. One room that was of particular interest was Mary's sewing room. Based on the complexity of the sewing machines it was obvious Mary was a talented seamstress. I recall her saying that one of the things she looked forward to most was one day designing and sewing her daughter in law's wedding dress. Years later we attended their son's wedding. When their daughter in law entered the church she wore a dress that would have turned heads at a Hollywood gala.

George was an avid fisherman. He belonged to the Utah bass club. The family owned a huge motorhome. Oftentimes George's fishing competitions would conflict with his son's school schedule. No problem! After school on Friday Mary would load the boys in the huge motorhome and take them to the lake to fish with dad for the weekend.

The family owned a houseboat on Lake Powell, Utah. The first time we were invited to spend time with George, Mary and the boys on their houseboat it became more and more evident to me that there wasn't much Mary couldn't do. She was the vessel's captain, deckhand, and maintenance mechanic. Mary could tie any type of knot in a rope. She was an exceptional pilot. When a battery needed to be replaced she wasted no time taking a defective battery out and replacing it. When the huge vessel needed to be secured on a sandbank, Mary would dig the holes for the anchors and secure the ropes.

Mary invited us to go skiing. We took turns, and then it was Mary's turn. I watched as Mary rose out of the water sporting a single ski. For a while, she stayed in the wake. Then suddenly she veered out of the wake and made a wide turn back toward the wake. Her body was almost parallel to the water. A wall of water burst forth from her ski like a giant wave. As she crossed the wake she rose out of the water and landed on the outside of the opposing wake. Mary was obviously an exceptional water skier.

Mary's Mom and Dad lived in Atlantic, Iowa. Mary would routinely load up the boys in the motorhome and drive them to see their grandparents.

One day we arrived at Mary's home to find her, along with her sons removing the wood trim from around the interior doors, and all the baseboards. She decided to take it upon herself to restain them. This was a mammoth task because there were at least twelve rooms including four bathrooms. I had faith that Mary could remove the trim and restain it, but I did not believe she could reinstall it. She proved me wrong. I should have known better than to doubt there was anything Mary couldn't do.

When Mary wasn't working; which wasn't too often, she enjoyed playing cards. On weekends Mary and George would drive to Wendover, Nevada, have dinner play cards, and drive home the next day. Both George and Mary were exceptional poker players.

On December 21, 2017, at approximately 3:00 p.m. I received news from one of Mary's sons that Mary was being rushed to the hospital. He did not elaborate but he did say the reason had something to do with Mary's hand and their snowblower. I waited anxiously hoping that it wasn't too serious. I received word that she was in the operating theater and that a hand-surgeon was doing everything possible to restore her dominant hand as best he could. I was in a state of shock.

During the winter months, homeowners have to clear snow from their driveways and sidewalks. Many homeowners invest in snowblowers to make the task quick and easy. I have heard of people that have got their hands caught in their snowblower's spinning blades. Unfortunately, I have never heard of a good outcome. I prayed that Mary's would be the first.

The following day I went to visit Mary. I parked my car in the driveway and shut the engine off. I sat there staring out of the window at Mary's garden. Thoughts ravaged my mind. Will Mary be able to care for the garden, cook, paint, remove and replace trim, tie ropes, tie-down the hatches, ski, sew and play cards?

This was going to be one of the most awkward moments of my life. I knocked on the door. George opened the door and gave me a hug. Mary rose out of her chair. Tears were running down her cheeks. She wrapped her arm left arm around my neck and sobbed in my ear. She muttered, "why did I do this to myself?" Her right arm was enclosed in a huge styrofoam box.

Accidents change everything. For three decades when we got together for Christmas the conversation was based on what Mary was going to accomplish in the new year. This year the conversation was about what Mary hoped she could accomplish in the new year pending the outcome of further surgery to restore what was left of her hand and fingers. She also said that it was just as well she had not yet purchased her Christmas present - a new sewing machine.

Mary confessed that there is one thing she will spend the rest of her life asking herself:

"I was aware there was a bar on the snowblower for the specific purpose of clearing the chute. Why didn't I simply unclip it and use it clear the obstruction instead of using my hand?"

How many people that have lost limbs are asking themselves the same question. We may take a vacation, but we must never forget that safety NEVER takes a vacation.

Mary is one of the smartest and most physically active people I have ever met. There is no doubt I will be writing a follow-up article about how Mary picked up the ball and ran with it! Let's all learn from Mary's terrible mistake. Don't ever let a moment of neglect cause you to have a lifetime of regret!

I wish you and yours a Safe and Prosperous New Year