The moment that I got laidoff

This is my first time to put my feelings on paper and share it with people. I feel that I need to share what I am going through and the challenging that I am facing at this moment. I was very hesitant to share that with you but I bet that too many of you are going or went through those feelings during the lay-off period.

When I received the news that I got laid off on July 16, 2019, I didn't know how I can express my feelings as it was the first time in my life to get laid off. I found myself sat down and I lost all the words and I was trying to keep my head up. My manager started the conversation with "I wish if I could have a better news for you but I will have to let you go". He kept saying "It is because of the lack of work and no new projects at this moments not because of performance, etc.", I believe he kept repeating that several times to assure me that's not my fault and I just kept quiet, I couldn’t respond at all. Then he apologiezed and left the room. The process took about less than 10 mins but it felt like hours to me. Then the HR manager came to the room and sat beside me saying the something, she tried her best to comfort me but I remained silent. In my head, I knew if I started to talk, I won’t talk words but tears. It is a very challenging situation but eventually as human being when it comes to something that can impact our life directly and no matter how we are strong, we won't be able to hold back our feelings for long. It's ok to express how we feel at the moment or after but in the right way that what makes us human. I felt at this moment that the world is falling apart around me and I thought about my kids how I am going to tell them and what we will do.For my kids, I am everything they got and they are everything to me.

I took time for myself alone before going home and all of the sudden, all my work experience and my career history popped up in my head and started to think what went wrong and what went good but I decided to stop it and said don’t think about the past just move forward. I went home and my plan was not to say anything to my kids and act normal. I went straight to my room. I was fighting the negative thoughts but took me a whole day to be able to think straight and got my head togather. I said to myself, It’s tough!but i have to move forward, don't look back just move on!

I kept moving forward and applying for jobs and I was able to land multiple interviews within few weeks and I was preparing for each interview for days and nights as it felt that my life depends on it (I took it very serious) and tried my best to reduce my stress level to the minimum by learning more about emotional intellegent and believing in the idea that i planted in my head "Moving forward is the way for success". I am so determined and explored multiple avenues and not only limited myself to certain career till I landed a part time job at one of the educational institutions in Calgary for the Fall semester as an instructor for post secondary education and I am very excited about. My friends, colleagues and network friends supported/ are still supporting me a lot during that hard time which is not ended yet but it's getting better than before. Small progress and baby steps are the best thing that can be done at this moment.

Today, I saw a post in LinkedIn that said “You didn’t fail... you just found another way that won’t work”, it made me think and I decided to write this article. The real challenge is to find the other way that works and till you reach to it, you will have to knock on several doors that might not open and you feel that you lost or started to lose the trust and confidence in yourself and your capabilities. It’s challenging to keep yourself motivated in a very difficult time and you are trying your best to hide your weakness in front of your family as they get impacted when they see you weak. Sometimes Working on strengthening your primary skill sometimes could be great but the most important thing during this time and you feel a bit lost is to develop new skills which will keep you motivated and add value.

Too many people advise you to surround yourself with positive people, I actually felt it adds more stress or increase the stress level because at the moment you are down, you need one of the following two: 1) Take time for yourself and start to organize and gather your thoughts alone, it can be a great help or 2) Surround yourself with the loved ones and people who really care about you, believe me you need that.

It’s easy to be a prisoner of your own mind and see the world turned grey suddenly!

I am glad that I built over the years primary skills such as project management with all its aspects, including risk management, interface management and secondary skills like teaching and supply chain management. Mentorship is a big deal, currently I got to invest more time in it and to meet with my mentees more often. It helped me to keep my mind focus on my goal which is currently, finding the right job. I actually learned a lot from my mentees who supported me during this challenging time, they are the future and they see the world in a different prospective.

The take away from this challenging time :

• Work on new skills or develop your secondary skills which could help you to keep going and adopting with the new world.
• Keep networking and attend events that can help with your job search.
• Think positive and learn to move forward. Keep going and I am sure the right opportunity will come up.
• Manage your free time that you have right now effeciantly and divide it between hobbies, families and job search.
• Understand emotional intelligence and how can express the feelings in multiple ways, it is a great help ( Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman 10th edition and Master Emotional Intellegance by Edward Benedict, Jane Orloff, Ray Vaden)

Thank you and keep moving forward towards the future!