Mom, I Got You: The True Cost of Being a Caregiver - Emotional and Physical Realities

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on my poll:

Where do you feel the most significant impact?

A. Social Security & Retirement Savings

B. Emotional & Health Issues

C. Physical Health Issues

This is Part 2 of "Mom, I Got You!" We will explore the cost of being a caregiver – the emotional and physical health truths.

Most of you shared that emotional and physical health issues are the most significant challenges for caregivers. I can completely relate to this, as does Jill. Remember Jill (name changed), my client who is taking care of her mother without any help from her brothers. Despite speaking with them, they feel overwhelmed with their own responsibilities. This situation is all too common.

This leaves Jill emotionally and physically exhausted.

The Emotional Side

The constant stress and emotional work that come with caregiving can lead to anxiety, depression, and poorer overall health. This emotional burden affects not only caregivers' health but also their ability to provide good care.

When I spoke with Jill this week, I could see the exhaustion in her face and hear her plea for just a little “me time.” Wanting time for herself does not make Jill selfish. In fact, it's essential for her well-being.

Caregivers often find themselves caught in a cycle of sleep problems, chronic fatigue, and a higher risk of long-term health issues. The relentless pressure to care for others means that their own needs take a backseat, leading to significant neglect of self-care.

Remember, taking care of yourself is not a luxury; it's a necessity.

Isolation and the relentless pressure to meet family expectations can intensify feelings of loneliness and burnout. This state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion is all too common among caregivers.

Unfortunately, the invaluable emotional labor they perform often goes unrecognized, adding to their already heavy burden.

The Physical Side

The physical demands of caregiving, such as lifting, bathing, and constant mobility, can take a significant toll on a caregiver's body, leading to potential injuries and chronic pain.

The physical strain is relentless and often exacerbated by the lack of proper support or equipment.

Constant stress from caregiving responsibilities not only wears down the body but also increases the risk of serious health issues like high blood pressure, depression, and a weakened immune system.

The caregiver’s health can decline rapidly, especially when their own well-being is continually put on the back burner.

In the midst of nonstop caregiving duties, caregivers often overlook their own preventive healthcare. This neglect creates a vicious cycle of worsening conditions that can leave families in a difficult situation if the caregiver's health deteriorates.

It’s essential for caregivers to prioritize self-care and seek regular medical check-ups to sustain their ability to care for others.

Empowering Caregivers: Practical Tips and Support

Caregiving is a challenging journey, but there are ways to make it more manageable and ensure your well-being is not overlooked.

Here are some steps to help you navigate the physical and emotional hurdles with hope and resilience:

• Ask for and Accept Help: It’s okay to seek and accept support. Make a list of ways others can assist you and let them choose how to help. Whether it’s taking regular walks with the person you care for, cooking a meal, or helping with medical appointments, every bit of help lightens your load.
• Focus on What You Can Do: It’s easy to feel like you’re not doing enough, but remember that no one is a perfect caregiver. Celebrate the efforts you’re making and recognize that you’re doing your best. Your dedication and love are what truly matter.
• Join a Support Group: Connecting with others who understand your experiences can be incredibly comforting. Support groups offer a space to share, learn, and find encouragement from people who know exactly what you’re going through.
• Seek Social Support: Staying connected with family and friends who support you is vital. Make time each week to visit with someone, even if it’s just a walk or a quick cup of coffee. These moments of connection can rejuvenate your spirit.
• Take Care of Your Health: Prioritize your well-being by finding ways to sleep better, staying active, eating a healthy diet, and drinking plenty of water. Your health is crucial, not just for you but for those who depend on you.

Caregiving is an immense responsibility, filled with both love and challenges.

Remember, you don’t have to face it alone.

Support from family, friends, the community, and access to resources and advocates can make a significant difference in your journey. You are not alone, and there is help available to lighten your burden.

I am happy that Jill has reached out to other family members (other than her brothers) for assistance. She also found refuge in staying at an Airbnb instead of at her mother’s home. This gives her the opportunity to refuel her emotional and physical needs.

Caregivers must remember that their well-being is just as important as the care they provide to others.

As the saying goes, you need to put on your own oxygen mask first before assisting others.

Please share any recommendations you have to help caregivers like Jill.

Next time, we will look at the financial sacrifices that caregivers make.