Mom, I Got You: The True Cost of Being a Caregiver

We all love our moms (and dads)!

But what happens when mom (or dad) needs a caregiver?

There is an unspoken societal expectation that the oldest female family member will be the primary caregiver, adding to gender inequalities in families and the workforce. However, in my case, as the youngest daughter, it fell on my shoulders.

I’m watching a client, Jill, go through this right now – she’s the only daughter, and her brothers believe it’s her duty.

This role is often accepted without recognition or payment, creating a hidden deficit that leaves women financially vulnerable long after their caregiving duties end—and sometimes during.

Jill’s employer is also getting restless with her being out of the office to be a caregiver, even though she has plenty of PTO.

Research from the Institute for Women’s Policy Research found that women are the primary caregivers for aging parents and spouses who become ill. Nearly two-thirds of dementia caregivers in the U.S. are female—roughly 10 million women.

According to the Alzheimer’s Association, dementia-related diagnoses are rising sharply, with the number of Americans living with dementia expected to double by 2040.

This topic is near and dear to my heart, as I have filled those shoes and know many women in the same position.

We need to bring to the forefront what it really means to be a caregiver and what women like Jill, my friends, and I can do to mitigate the potential negative outcomes.

This is Part 1 of "Mom, I Got You!" We will explore the cost of being a caregiver – the unspoken truths.

The financial impacts of caregiving are both hidden and obvious.

Simply running errands for Mom, picking up Dad to take him to the doctor, or swinging by the drugstore to grab a few things—these unbudgeted and hidden expenses cost women and their families.

More than that, consider that when caregiving responsibility becomes overwhelming, it’s often women who leave the workforce to attend to these duties.

The impacts are a domino effect of lost income, stalled career progression, reduced retirement contributions, and lower social security benefits.

It’s a compounding financial effect that can cost women hundreds of thousands of dollars over their lifetime.

Added to the responsibilities of their own family, children, partner, and work, the costs become more than financial.

They lead to cognitive overload, sadness, lack of sleep, depression, and more.

Where do you feel the most significant impact?

A. ?Social Security & Retirement Savings

B. ?Emotional & Health Issues

C. ?Physical Health Issues

Let me know in your comments – A, B, or C. Or do you think it is another area?

I’ll give you my perspective next time.