The Moccasin Mile

Kindness is my go to. Fuck off is my wing man. I know. Funny, right? That is a meme I saw on Facebook the other day. What resonated with me was, it is true. I never intentionally want to hurt someone. In fact, I will go out of my way to avoid conflict. Not because I am scared. Not because I am seeking approval. But because peace is more important than pride. With that said, when you judge me, you will lose me.

So many people get their validation from external sources. And while it is nice to be validated, the true measure of self esteem comes from self. That's when you will know peace. Condition yourself to be your biggest fan. And while you're at it, condition yourself to be honest with yourself too. Why? Because you want you to be realistic about your growth. It's empowering. It forces you to level up. But I digress.......

What is the Moccasin Mile? There is an old Native American proverb that say's "Do not judge another until you walk a mile in thier moccasins." Boom! Truth bomb. Even if you have had a similar experience, still everyone will process in a different way. It is unfair {and at times rude} to assume you know what is best for someone. See someone struggling? Now is not the time for advice or an anecdote, unless asked. Now is the time for compassion. Can't offer compassion? Then offer silence. People who are struggling know they're struggling. No need to pile on with your judgements. 

"Know when to let your wing man, be your wing man."

I don't think that people are inherently bad. But even well intentioned people can judge. I'm not saying bring your "fuck off" wing man to every judgement. But what I am saying is, know when to let your wing man, be your wing man. There is no room for judgement in a healthy relationship. And there is no room for constant judgement from the same people.....especially if they don't even own a pair of moccasins. Two things come to mind when I say that. I have never served in the military, and I do not have AIDS. Two communities that I have extensive experience working with. And I have heard over and over again that I do not understand. They're right. I don't. And I don't pretent too. I can help without owning those moccasins. But what I can't do is pretend to understand. 

So let a little kindness in. And when all esle fails, call your wing man. Because no one has walked a mile in your moccasins.