Moby Deficit

Chapter 1: Loomings

Call me Ishmael. Some years ago—never mind how long precisely—having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would wander a little and see the financial sector part of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the spleen and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before budget spreadsheets, and bringing up the rear of every tax return; and especially whenever my portfolio gets such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's calculators off—then, I account it high time to get to work on a budget as soon as I can.

Chapter 2: The Spreadsheets

As a Finance Minister, the tools of my trade are many: spreadsheets, reports, and projections, each a harpoon aimed at the leviathan of the deficit. The budget meetings are our forecast seas, each line item a fathom deep. But beware, ye who enter here, for amidst these columns and rows lurks the white whale of fiscal doom, whose origins are shrouded in the past.

Chapter 3: The Deficit

The deficit—what inscrutable malice it has. Hidden in the depths of our financial statements, its pale visage haunting the quarterly reviews, it lurks. To some, it appears but a line item, a mere inconvenience; to others, it is the embodiment of fiscal ruin. For me, it is an inherited obsession. Though it grows from our own decisions, clever misdirection whispers that it is a legacy from the previous government.

Chapter 4: The Tax Breaks

Ahab was once a great captain, commanding respect and authority. But now, he is a man driven by a singular purpose: to grant tax breaks for the wealthy. "Money!" he cries, "is but a means to power, and power to dominion!" He promises wealth and prosperity, yet the cost of his pursuit may sink us all. Still, in the public eye, we craft a narrative that shifts blame to those who came before.

Chapter 5: The Disguise

"Balance the budget," they say. "Trim the fat." But how to do so when the leviathan of the deficit rears its monstrous head, partly our own creation? Ahab, ever cunning, devises a plan. "We shall disguise it," he says, "hide it in the folds of future growth projections, bury it beneath optimistic revenue forecasts, and shroud it with deferred liabilities. And subtly, we shall insinuate that the previous government left this shadow upon us."

Chapter 6: The Chase

Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and the chase continues. Each budget revision, each recalculation, brings us closer to our quarry. The deficit looms larger with every passing day, a menacing specter partly of our own making, yet publicly laid at the feet of those who governed before us. We spin a tale of past mismanagement, while obscuring our own contributions.

Chapter 7: The Reckoning

At last, the final budget is upon us. Ahab stands at the helm, his eyes wild with determination. "I see it," he murmurs, "the path to glory." The legislators gather, the media waits, the nation holds its breath. Will Ahab triumph, or will the deficit, amplified by our own policies, drag us down into the abyss? The public, misled, looks to the past for blame.

Epilogue

And I alone am escaped to tell thee—of that great fiscal reckoning. The budget, a tale of triumph and folly, of ambition and hubris, lies before you. The tax breaks gleam like fool's gold, and the deficit, though hidden, still swells beneath the surface, waiting for the day when it will rise again. The previous government, we suggest, set this beast upon us, though in truth, we have fed it well.