Misunderstood Millennials: A Case Study of Audrey Chong

Unless you've been living in a cave or have foregone social media altogether, you would be aware of the post by Audrey Chong on Facebook that has gone viral for all the 'wrong' reasons. 

Here's a screenshot of the post that has gathered over 1.3K reactions, 1.9k shares and close to a 1000 comments on Facebook.

While Audrey is just one person, her post has sparked comments that have labelled the generation. Based on the strong response online, it begets some questions that need to be answered.

Millennials: defined as born between 1980-2000 while Gen Z is 2000 - 2020. Audrey falls under the category of a 'cusper' who may have traits from both generations

1) Even though this is a personal account, does Audrey represent her generation and is there a cause for concern?

Audrey Chong may have struck a nerve when she shared her challenges about planning a graduation trip because they seem rather trivial. The points she shared may be personal, but certain points that she raised are indicative of the ‘challenges’ this generation faces today.  

1. Helicopter Parenting 

This generation is known to have helicopter parents, i.e. the Baby Boomers/Gen Xers who go out of their way to provide the best possible life for their child. They shelter them as much as possible and this generation has grown up pampered in many ways, compared to the earlier generations. But this is the reality for most youths today where parenting has shifted from the authoritative leadership style to a more laissez-faire leadership style, commonly known as ‘peer-enting’ today. While many of Audrey’s points may seem ludicrous, it is the by-product of a overly protected upbringing. Parents have the best intentions for their child, but such strategies only serve to contribute to their children being ‘softer’ than previous generations at their age.

2. Friends who may bail out 

Another cause of concern that Audrey Chong raised was about friends who may bail out. This generation grew up with technology and social media. They are ‘socialising’ when they spend time on social media, catching up one each other’s updates. Everyone is sharing the best parts of their lives on social media. 

It is an addiction because the more likes you get, the more dopamine (happy chemical) is released in the brain. When life is so good as shown on social media, it becomes a struggle to show their vulnerabilities and to develop friendships that last a lifetime. Friendships have become more superficial for this generation due to social media. 

Going on a graduation trip overseas is in no way similar to a trip to Sentosa. An overseas graduation trip requires a great deal of commitment from all parties involved and if the bond between parties is not strong, it is a real challenge to get commitments from friendships that are superficial in nature. 

"Fighting over a Wi-Fi router while on separate routes only led to more arguments” on a graduation trip indicates that this generation cares more to always ‘stay connected’ or having the ability to share their top highlights of their experience on Social Media as opposed to savouring the moment in the present with the ones next to them. 

3. “Things like Google Maps messing up…"

Another key trait of this generation is the fact that they are overly reliant on technology. And it is not their fault. They have grown up with it and have not experienced reality without technology. It is beyond their imagination to think of a life without smartphones and applications. In other words, they have not experienced of a lifetime without the conveniences of the internet and hence their struggles seem very ignorant.

2) Why is there an uproar over her post? 

The uproar over her post comes from individuals who cannot relate to her challenges. They are unable to put aside their past experiences and empathise with her. This is because they may have experienced a life without the ‘conveniences’ that Audrey has had. They may have gone for trips without the luxuries of Internet, Google Maps and Translation applications. Life was much tougher in the past and these concerns seem rather trivial compared to what they may have experienced. 

For example, staying connected with parents used to mean writing a letter at one point in time which took a good amount of time to reach the intended recipient. Sometimes, it may not even reach them. That used to be a reality at one point in time that many youths today may not even know of, let alone relate. 

3) What are the traits of Gen Z? 

Audrey, being born in year 2000, falls into Generation Z. Millennials are born between 1980-1999 whereas Gen Z starts from 2000-2020. 

Some of the common characteristics that differentiate them from Millennials are:

1. They spend more time on their smartphones than on desktop absorbing tons of new information daily.

2. They are highly distractible with an attention span of 8 seconds.

3. They have an affinity to communicating via text over face to face communication

4. The internet has empowered them to start earning money at a younger age

5. Gen Z are environmentally aware and value a eco-friendly lifestyle.

4) What do the personal attacks say about the commentators?   

The personal attack on her says a few things:

The people who have attacked her, not just Singaporeans, are unable to put aside their experience and reality to empathise with her and look below the surface. It takes a lot more effort to pause, take a step back, and put yourself in another's shoes. It's a leadership quality to be able to empathise. In a post like this, where most of the commentators do not know her personally, they have little or no incentive to empathise with her when they disagree with her points.

They may have gone through much tougher challenges during their graduation trip and hence feel that Audrey's pointers in the post are not strong enough to support her advice to ‘avoid graduation trips’. 

The pointers Audrey raised may not convince those who love to travel (especially Millennials) and enjoy the process of the hiccups and screwups as a part of the journey. 

This response however, is typical of anyone who doesn't CARE about the other party.

Not just on Social Media. This happens at the workplace as well.

As a Millennial Specialist, I have come across Managers who describe their direct reports the same way these commentators do.

Many Managers feel exasperated when they hear similar comments of 'difficulty and hardships' because they have been through far worse. That being said, it's important for all of us, not just managers, to put ourselves in the shoes of the other party and empathise with them.

Going harsh on them will not bring about positive outcomes. It will only make them cave in. Instead, what's needed is for Leaders to coach such individuals in their teams and mentor them and guide them. Leaders play an important role in moulding the youths and definitely need the right competencies to manage them effectively.

Otherwise, giving them harsh feedback like in this case will only serve to destroy their self -esteem and confidence. In such instances, it is important to think of the end in mind. What do you really want for this person to learn, and respond accordingly instead of reacting.

5) So, is there a cause for concern for this generation of youths? 

Yes. It is important for us to help our youths build the following qualities that seem to be lacking

1. Patience - thanks to technology, everything has become instant and many have become impatient as a result

2. Resilience - Youths have yet to understand the Ups and Downs of life. They are still very sheltered by their parents and hence, are very much like frogs in a well that do not understand the dangers that they must prepare for when they leave their safe zone. This is why they get a culture shock when they enter the workplace.

3. Relationship Building - Youths need to learn how to build stronger relationships instead of Superficial ones. They need to learn more essential ‘soft skills’ to interact with one another without using a device.

4. Authenticity - Youths need to learn to accept themselves for their flaws instead of showcasing a ‘fake reality’ on social media to fit in with the rest who have. 

5. Focus - Attention spans have reduced significantly thanks to constant notifications that bombard us on our digital devices. Being constantly distracted only disempowers them in everything they do.