(Mis)understanding silence across Cultures

Some say that silence is better than words. What do you think?

Despite its inaudibility, it is inarguable that silence is everywhere. While the form, or rather, the” delivery”, of silence is always the same, the effect it has upon the receiver is not.  Most of us can think of situations where “silence is golden”, as the saying goes, however, many of us can probably also think of situations where silence might feel awkward or uncomfortable.

There is no doubt that silence is ambiguous in nature. In fact, the meaning of silence, and, importantly, how silence is understood, vary greatly depending on individual- social-, and (you probably guessed it already) cultural context. 

Silence can, amongst other things, be a sign of respect. For example, in more hierarchical cultures, silence is used as a sign of showing respect to leader, Also, in some Asian cultures, if someone asks you a question, it is a sign of respect to be silent and consider your answer before answering. Similarly, in Nordic cultures, being silent and listening while others speak is not only expected but also a way of keeping order by taking turns, and thus creating a calmness to conversations. Here, interrupting someone who is speaking is perceived as rude.

Silence can also be understood as a form of agreeing. Plato once said: “To be sure I must; and therefore, I may assume that your silence gives consent.”One can only hope he was not referring to a Japanese person because in Japan silence can have less to do with agreeing and more to do with not being comfortable with a proposal. Here, to save face for both parties, silence can be the preferred way of communicating disagreement. 

Contrasting, in many Latin American countries, also in some southern European countries such as Spain and Italy, it is completely normal to speak many people at once, to pitch in, and to interrupt while others are speaking, which is a sign of interest and engagement in the conversation. Here, rather than silence being a sign of respect, it is experienced more as awkward or as if you do not know the answer to the given question. 

As you can see, there are many ways of (mis)understanding and (mis)interpreting silence. There is no right, nor a wrong way to understand or use silence, however, you should not assume the intention behind it. Learn to listen to silence – it has a lot to say. Especially in the cross-cultural meeting. 

Can you recall a moment where silence spoke louder than words?