(Mis)understanding silence across Cultures
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Cultural training | Diversity & Inclusion | Author of "Did You Get the Point?"/ "Forstod du, hvad de sagde?" | Ph.D.
Some say that silence is better than words. What do you think?
Despite its inaudibility, it is inarguable that silence is everywhere. While the form, or rather, the” delivery”, of silence is always the same, the effect it has upon the receiver is not. Most of us can think of situations where “silence is golden”, as the saying goes, however, many of us can probably also think of situations where silence might feel awkward or uncomfortable.
There is no doubt that silence is ambiguous in nature. In fact, the meaning of silence, and, importantly, how silence is understood, vary greatly depending on individual- social-, and (you probably guessed it already) cultural context.
Silence can, amongst other things, be a sign of respect. For example, in more hierarchical cultures, silence is used as a sign of showing respect to leader, Also, in some Asian cultures, if someone asks you a question, it is a sign of respect to be silent and consider your answer before answering. Similarly, in Nordic cultures, being silent and listening while others speak is not only expected but also a way of keeping order by taking turns, and thus creating a calmness to conversations. Here, interrupting someone who is speaking is perceived as rude.
Silence can also be understood as a form of agreeing. Plato once said: “To be sure I must; and therefore, I may assume that your silence gives consent.”One can only hope he was not referring to a Japanese person because in Japan silence can have less to do with agreeing and more to do with not being comfortable with a proposal. Here, to save face for both parties, silence can be the preferred way of communicating disagreement.
Contrasting, in many Latin American countries, also in some southern European countries such as Spain and Italy, it is completely normal to speak many people at once, to pitch in, and to interrupt while others are speaking, which is a sign of interest and engagement in the conversation. Here, rather than silence being a sign of respect, it is experienced more as awkward or as if you do not know the answer to the given question.
As you can see, there are many ways of (mis)understanding and (mis)interpreting silence. There is no right, nor a wrong way to understand or use silence, however, you should not assume the intention behind it. Learn to listen to silence – it has a lot to say. Especially in the cross-cultural meeting.
Can you recall a moment where silence spoke louder than words?
Doktor der Ingnieurwissenschaften
5 年silence? is not good? for the love , love? needs? aloud? pleasures?
President @ WCAPS Brasil Chapter | Decoloniality, DEIB, the S&G in your ESG
5 年As a "Southern" gone "Nordic", I can get surprised at how much the constant ‘pitch in’ to a discussion can annoy me, be it when having a serious conversation with my original family members, be it when expressing my point of view in a work related exchange. It goes without saying, that if I have respectfully listened to your points without interruption, I would appreciate the same courtesy being extended to me (which is not always the case). It is indeed a "point névralgique" in cross-cultural communication.
CEO & PDG - Winoa Group, France I Chairman - Elastikos Holding, France I Member of the Exec.Board, - Sinto Group, Japan I NED - Private Equities, European Assets
5 年Simply brilliant theme.