Mistakes Will be Made

At?Hilton, we’ve created The Check-In – a series that shares perspectives on issues and insights that shape the human experience at work. As we enter the “back-to-school” season in many parts of the world, I wanted to share a piece I previously wrote about the importance of learning from mistakes and using failure as a stepping-stone to success.

Years ago, in a prior job, I made a mistake at work. I had just been promoted, and in my newly minted position of power, I authorized an action without proper socialization or analysis. I was beyond mortified and convinced that I would be demoted or fired, or both.

My boss’ boss called me within minutes of this error becoming public knowledge. I picked up the phone and braced myself for some serious consequences. What I encountered on the other side of that phone call was surprising. This leader calmly acknowledged the situation and asked me what my next steps were. Then, she shared one of the most gracious professional messages I had ever heard: that she still believed in me and wanted to make sure that I wasn’t beating myself up too much. I needed to address the issue, learn from it, and move on. She wasn’t going to berate me – she was pretty sure I had done a good job of that myself (yep!). I have often thought of that moment. It taught me some powerful lessons in learning from mistakes that I have tried to stay true to ever since:

Own it. There is nothing worse as a leader or professional than deflecting, gaslighting, or ignoring an error. We all make mistakes. And yet when we do, it’s not always human nature to acknowledge it. In our industry, unintended issues happen all the time. Yet I’m always struck by how gracefully our hotel Team Members address problem resolution. Leading with a commitment to deliver hospitality at all costs, they always take the ‘make it right’ approach; and we all know that a meaningful service recovery experience can generate even stronger customer loyalty than flawless service. Likewise, a human acknowledgement of a wrong action or judgement call can strengthen a relationship – a sincere apology will usually deepen bonds. Do this quickly, sincerely, without worry about loss of power, status, or reputation. Trust me, your heart will thank you.

Accept mistakes as a fact, not a personal failure. As Bryan Stevenson wrote in his book Just Mercy, “Each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done.” After committing a mistake, try to unemotionally assess the damage done, the lesson learned, and the path forward. As we navigate our personal and professional journeys, keeping a healthy perspective on the setbacks that we cause builds resilience and strengthens creativity, allowing us to uncover new solutions or rule out things that don’t work. Perpetuating negative thoughts about our self-worth is neither constructive nor will it improve future performance.

Reflect, don't ruminate. Rather than replaying endlessly the tape of “I can’t believe I did x” or “If only I hadn’t done y” – ask yourself deeper questions to uncover potential blind spots and real motivators: why did I move so quickly? Am I focused on the right outcome? Am I trying to prove something about myself to others? Show yourself true compassion as you do this. We so often are kinder to others than we are to ourselves in the face of a failure.

Be human when others mess up. Every single time that I have overreacted or blown up in the face of someone else’s mistake – be it at home, work, at the grocery store – I have almost instantly regretted it. Where is my compassion, grace, understanding? I cut myself a break (see points one to three above!), but try to be a better person next time. People will fail us, intentionally or not. And when they do, we have a choice to make regarding our response. Alexander Pope had it right when he said, “To err is human, to forgive is divine.” Assuming positive intent means believing that everyone is always doing the best they can. We are so humbled when others show us this grace because it can be an unforgettable gift to extend to a fellow human being.

Mistakes are an inevitable part of life, and failure is a stepping-stone to success. Fail fast, own your errors, learn from them, and let them go. Mistakes will be made – what a colorless existence we would lead otherwise. As the saying goes, “The greatest mistake is to live life afraid of making one.” As we enter the “back-to-school” season in many parts of the world, let’s rebrand “failing” as “learning by doing.” Here we go – and apologies in advance for getting some stuff wrong along the way!