Mistakes? Get some perspective!

If I’ve interviewed you I’ll undoubtedly have asked “what is your biggest mistake”? For full disclosure, somewhere in the middle of my list would be crashing a brand new company car and arriving fully prepped to deliver a presentation at Loughborough university when I should have been at Lancaster. I’ve got many more humdingers but I’ll need to have some wine before sharing! So it’s my favourite question, not because I care overly about the answer, but because it gives an insight into how transparent someone is prepared to be, how they view their life choices, and their ability to gain perspective. 

I recently interviewed a candidate who heartbreakingly described his early career as a mistake. I highlighted that learning about an industry, and the inner working of any role, was always a valuable experience. A varied career is a fantastic thing as even the jobs we haven’t enjoyed teach us about what we do, or do not, want to experience again. 

The situations we find ourselves in because of an accidental choice can also open us to new opportunities. I spoke in a previous blog about the indescribable pain I experienced after selling my house in Dulwich. To be clear, if I could turn back the clock I still would. I miss the neighbours, the fireplace, the ornate coving and Victorian stripped floorboards…but it was a reminder of the importance of perspective. It was just a "suff" I'd created in and around a pile of bricks. I also miss the Street Art but had I not lived among so much for so long I probably wouldn't be so appreciative when I see this creativity in other cities and countries.  Plus, in the wider context of what I hope will be a long and happy life, this matter is really just a footnote in the adventures of Cece Thomas!

Another example would be the tattoo I have on my foot. Anyone around in the early noughties may remember the “temporary” tattoos which errrr, weren’t temporary. Let me share the story of Helmut the Gecko - One summers day around 2001 a friend and I were buzzing about on his new motorbike. Young, cool (so we thought), and indestructible (oh the innocence!) we decided to stop at one of the new tattoo parlours and get a sketch. At random I picked a Gecko and decided to plant him on my foot somewhere clear of my flip flop straps. Helmut took about four weeks to heal and fortunately my manager at IBM was very understanding about my footwear situation! I made a mistake by not questioning the marketing which centred around using biodegradable ink and only being a surface level marking. Given it was a new thing, how could anyone be so sure that they were actually semi-permanent? I wouldn’t have had a tattoo had I known it would be still be with me (I’m more of a piercings person) but yet I cannot bring myself to subject Helmut to the laser. Why? Well he’s a glorious reminder of that day on the back of Iain’s motorbike, my time at IBM, as well as being young and carefree. It did teach me to be a little less impulsive and to do more research before listening to self-proclaimed “experts”, but thank goodness I learnt these lessons via something as innocuous as a tattoo.

So some mistakes clearly can become a beautiful piece of history and unique to our individual life stories. Others can be much harder to deal with especially if they cause financial or reputational damage, perhaps even impacting those around us as well as ourselves. What do we do with these mistakes? We have to assess each situation and remember to keep perspective. Just as most of us can show compassion to those around us who are having a hard time, we need to learn to show that same kindness to ourselves. I didn’t think that I would live to see an age where it was “okay to say you weren’t okay” but sometimes we aren’t and really it’s irrelevant if it’s self-inflicted or not. We did what we thought was right at the time, whether it was a decision made through recklessness, carelessness, or just misjudgement. We need to remember that we didn’t intend to cause harm and usually there is a way through. I’ll write about this next time, but for now, what’s been your biggest mistake, and what did you learn? Would you care to share below?