A Missionary's Perspective

Love and respect

My wife and I have now been married for over 25 years. We are grateful for this and realize all too well that we can celebrate this fact more despite our own efforts, than because of our own efforts. For years we have fought individually to be ourselves in our marriage, without realizing that we can become more ourselves by laying down our lives for each other every day. Fortunately, when we were on the brink of divorce, God turned everything around. Every day we now enjoy “our second marriage” and learn more about who we are in relation to each other.

Something we are also grateful for is that we can now be an example for so many others. We are often asked to share our testimonies including the mistakes we made and the victories we achieved. We do this in different ways, but one way that stands out for us is organizing “Couples Nights”. What a privilege to be able to use the Bible to explore with a select number of couples how we can love each other in marriage.

The last Couples Night was also special again. The theme of the evening was Love and Respect. Together with a dozen other couples, we discovered that both unconditional love and unconditional respect exist and that they are both necessary in a balanced marriage. Together we took time to reflect on how God intended marriage in this world as a reflection of the great marriage that is yet to come between Jesus and His bride. Knowing this, you suddenly get a different perspective on how to interact with each other, even if you don't understand your partner's love language.

My wife and I have concluded that it is a real blessing that God has shown us that it is possible to start over, even after 15 years of marital problems. And you know what is so wonderful? If He has accomplished that in our marriage, He could do that in other marriages as well.