Mission: Impossible VIII - Em's Big Day Out

What I’ve learnt so far from working in a Creative Agency is that there is a lot of research required at the start of every project. Luckily for me, I love research, and so Toby Bryan (my manager) sent me on a Big Day Out in London (which ended up being split across two days), to carry out High Street research for one of our clients. I was given a list of restaurants, and an All Day Off Peak Travel card and sent on my way. I can’t really say much about the overall research, or the results. Just know that my original title for this blog was supposed to be ‘Everything I ate in London for research’, but after the two days I had in London, you’ll understand the title change.

Confused? It will all make sense in a minute, so let's get to it:

I arrived in St Pancras at around 10:30 am, and relied on my own wit to get to Kings Cross. It’s literally just a hop skip and a jump, if you go down the escalators, back on yourself and then right. However I went down the escalators and forwards and just kept going until I hit the end, and turned left to exit St Pancras, because that (for some reason) was the easiest way for me. (I had tricked myself into believing that I knew my way around London.)

My first destination was supposed to be ‘Benugos’. I had plotted this into my Google maps ahead of time, and it showed it was located IN Kings Cross. Unfortunately, after walking around Kings Cross and outside it for about 20 minutes I still could not find it. After conferring Google Maps and then resorting to Apple Maps, I realised it was IN St Pancras. So after 25 minutes I managed to find ‘Benugos *Espresso Bar’ (*this is a key detail for later). Which means I walked underneath the Espresso Bar without realising (and can you blame me? I’m a Gen-Z human, we rarely look up).

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Finally, I arrived inside the little cafe. At first I was a bit confused on what I should do, as there wasn’t a staff member visible. Eventually I just decided to help myself to a bottle of water and waited at the till until a team member arrived from the kitchen. I ordered a pain au chocolat whilst I cradled my water. When I went to pay, I realised the cashier had not put my water through. Yet when I pointed it out, he told me not to worry about it! In hindsight I should have gotten a fancier bottle instead of the cheapest one (although it still cost ￡1.75!). I was feeling like a million bucks! Especially when the server said he would plate it up and bring it over to me! Once I had sat down at my table, he then came to ask if I wanted my pain au chocolat heated up! Yes please! I’d never had it before, and let me tell you, warm pastry and slightly melted chocolate is the bomb dot com! My original tactic for the day was supposed to have small meals and where possible save things for later, but I shamelessly devoured the pain au chocolat in about 4 bites.

Once I finished typing up my work on my computer (feeling as cool as the two middle aged men working away in there) I packed up and headed to my next stop! China Town.

I actually managed to locate my next restaurant with ease, thanks to my premade map. I found High Yaki in the centre of China Town. I observed the menu before going in, and my stomach sank because I only really eat canned tuna or fish fingers when it comes to seafood and the majority of the menu seemed to be seafood based… Luckily however, I was able to order some pork gyozas. They were probably the best gyozas I’ve ever had, like genuinely could not compare, not even Waga’s could compete! My visit to the restaurant was quite uneventful, other than that I struggled to garner the staff's attention when I walked in, when I wanted to order, when I was finished, and the two times I had to ask for the bill. Additionally, whilst the toilets were separate cubicles, there wasn’t a door to the toilets, you just walked under an arch, and then there were all the cubicles. There was also a bottle of flash spray on the loo roll holder in the cubicle I picked, which made for a good photo I guess.

My next stop was Farmer J’s in Piccadilly Circus. It was coming up to the lunchtime rush now, so I was hoping that this would be the easiest restaurant, as I knew it would be busy. But let me tell you… It was chaos, complete and utter chaos. If you’ve not been to a Farmer J’s, they’re sort of like a Subway, but just for salads, and you only have 4-5 options to choose from. Which sounds like it should be simple. And yet, the woman in front of me in the queue had asked for an amendment to her son’s order, but for some reason no one understood what she meant, they just remade the same thing…twice?!?

I ordered my salad, and then the next server asked what I ordered, and just remade the order, so now I had two salads, but they weren’t given to me, they were just put on top of the glass casing, and then another lady went and made me a smaller one?! So I had 3! But I still wasn’t given any, a man behind me took one, and so I just took the original size that I had ordered, and stepped around the lady who was still trying to get her son’s order made correctly. On my way round to the till, I nabbed a Diet Coke, and finally felt like I could breathe. Ironically, the man at the till asked me if I was enjoying the store, but at this point I was exhausted and overwhelmed, so I just enthusiastically nodded and took myself to my table. Where I then realised I could have ordered a coffee and a cookie instead and avoided the whole fiasco. As I was updating Toby, I realised there was something on my hard boiled egg. I had eaten one bite of chicken at this point, as I looked at it more closely, I realised there was a load of dark hair, (or maybe fluff) on the egg… I was trying not to gag, I had to sit there for another 30 minutes whilst I used the free wifi to type up my work, trying as best as I could to not make eye contact with the egg. Finally I had had enough, I didn’t complain, and really I should have, but with how hectic it felt in there, I just dumped the salad in the bin and beelined for the door.

I took a few minutes in the fresh air and hovered around Piccadilly Circus for a few minutes, before I started my walk over to my next stop, Nessa. Which I really really hoped would be a little bit better.

When I arrived at Nessa, I realised it was actually, preeetttyyyy fancy. I nearly walked to my next destination instead, because looking down at myself in my Cygnus hoodie and comfy Vans, I didn’t think they’d let me in. But as I walked past the second set of windows I saw another lady comfortably working away on her laptop with a big coat bunched up around her. So I decided to risk it.?

As I had suspected, the front of house host was not particularly keen on seeing me, she gave me a once, then twice over, and asked if I was there to eat. Quite frankly I was absolutely Hank Marvin, but I felt uncomfortable so I said I would probably just have a coffee please. She allowed me to have any table I liked, so I picked a nice comfy one by the window, and she sat me down with the drinks menu. Which thankfully, oh so thankfully, had small bites on it!

After waiting about 15 minutes for someone to come over to me (despite there only being 3 customers including me in the cafe area) I ordered a fries and cappuccino, I’d never tried a cappuccino (plus I saw a video online that said if you drank latte’s you were basically an adult baby who just wanted warm milk, so as I was on my big day out, I felt it was time to grow up). I tried to set my laptop up whilst I was there, but Nessa does not have free WiFi, and unfortunately the Honest Burgers free wifi did not extend from next door! My food and drink both arrived within 3 minutes. 3 minutes! The fries were sooo good (although that might have been because I was really hungry after only having a pain au chocolate and 5 gyozas since 11, and it was now 2 o’clock). I tried the cappuccino... I would rather be called an adult baby than drink another cappuccino. But I didn’t want to waste it, so I forced myself to drink about half of the cup before I couldn’t take it anymore. Luckily the staff had also given me a free water that I didn’t ask for, so I downed that to get rid of the flavour. After a quick trip to their very fancy toilets in the basement (which had the THICKEST paper towels I’ve ever felt (I nabbed one for later)) I made my way out of the restaurant, much to the relief of the hostess.

Now I was set to visit Darjeeling Express, which is also in Soho, but I only had an hour and a half til my train home and with it being a restaurant, I wasn’t sure how quick it would be, so I decided to change it up a bit and head to KERB at Kings Cross, because at least then I would be close to the station.?

I successfully arrived at the Kings Cross Tube station and walked for about 20 minutes until I made it to the Coal Drops Yard following the directions on my Google Map. I walked past Central Saint Martin’s where a lot of students were out taking their vape breaks, and I briefly debated asking them where it was, but they looked too cool to be approached. So I meandered past and did a whole loop of Coal Drops Yard, before I finally consulted actual Google to look at images in case I missed it. Well thank god I didn’t ask the super cool design students, because the place is permanently closed (at Kings Cross anyway)!?

*As a quick disclaimer. This was my first professional research ‘mission’. And I was given a specific ‘List’. I was a good employee and stuck strictly to this ‘List’. I used Google Maps to find the specific location of every place on this ‘List’. Only one place on this list was not on Google Maps, because it was not set to open until Summer 2024. So, when you inevitably think “This woman’s an idiot, did she not learn from the first time?”. No. I was following the ‘List’.?

This had all taken me about an hour, so I stomped back to the Train station, and walked into the side entrance of St Pancras.

Now friends, this stopped me in my tracks. Why? Because there was a bloody Benugo on the bottom floor! Not an Espresso Bar, no! THE ACTUAL BENUGO I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO TO AT THE START OF THE DAY! My friends, I don’t know if you’ve ever felt additional rage on top of immense h-anger, mixed in with exhaustion, but boy does it boil your blood. To help the situation, Toby decided this was the best time to call me, so I half ranted the situation down the phone to him, in which he did feel sorry for me, although pointed out that he was pretty sure he told me it was on the ground floor in the first place? I remember none of this.

To make the most of it, with 15 minutes til my train, I picked up a rocky road and a Diet Coke. The rocky road I wanted to save for later, because I wanted to enjoy it, but I drank some of? my coke whilst spending 5 minutes typing up more of my findings. I gave myself 5 minutes to walk to my train. So I left Benugo at 16:09, my train was at 16:14. I calmly walked to the escalators, but did get stuck behind a few slow walkers. So I got to my train at 16:12, where I finally saw the sign that said you had to get on your train 2 minutes before it departs! Thanks for putting the sign right in front of the entrance to the platform, Network Rail, it might be helpful to put that sign in other places around the station, y’know, so people can actually get there 2 minutes earlier.

Anyway, I legged it! Spilt half my coke down me, and jumped on the train just as the doors were closing, then collapsed on the first available forward facing seat I could find (I was still feeling a little ill from the egg situation). Finally, Day One was over, and I was dreading Day Two.

Side note: on my drive home from the station, I picked up two cheese burgers from McDonald’s and ate them in the dark so I didn’t keep thinking about the hairy egg. I also forgot about my rocky road until I was curled up in bed, so it was a nice little treat to remember it, and eat it before I fell asleep. I’m pretty sure they put honeycomb in it, it’s delicious, 10/10 would recommend.

After a day's break, I returned to London for Day Two on the Wednesday (Valentines day at that!). I started with Box Park in Wembley as it was one of the locations furthest away. It actually took me an hour to get there from St Pancras, and when I finally arrived, I was the only customer there, as it was a little past 11 and everywhere was just starting to open. I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a large food court, which has lots of staff but you’re the only customer milling about trying to sneakily take photos (not very successfully based on the staring) but it’s incredibly awkward. You’re also under this immense pressure to pick the right kiosk first, because the next two customers that come in, for some reason, copy you. In fact, one of them might even get their food before you!

So I chose to eat at the ‘Spoon and Rice’ because I thought rice for breakfast was better than Churros… I ordered an aubergine dish, which was actually quite enjoyable, but I couldn’t eat much. I was enjoying my time in the food court, until 3 mothers with about 10 children between them (might be an exaggeration, but if it were based on the noise level I’d say there was about 50) arrived. Two of the delightful little darlings decided to stare me down whilst I was working. Just directly in front of my table, staring at me, even after their mother told them not to disturb me, they continued. After about 5 minutes of this, I lost the staring competition and just decided to pack up and leave for my next stop. Which was Camden Market

I took the overground to Camden Town, and thought I would still be able to get to Camden on my own. I could not. So I consulted my map. Which for 10 minutes sent me in the wrong direction before telling me to turn around. So I arrived at Camden Market at peak lunchtime. Now a naive little town girl like me, thought that as it's a weekday, it wouldn’t be that busy. Heaving. Absolutely Heaving.?

I think something you forget, until you come to a city like London, is how many people there actually are in the world. Like, you know there are 7 billion people on the planet, but you don’t consider how large that is, until you come to a market place like Camden, where there are so many people, barging and pushing, and eating and serving. That’s when you realise how many bloody people exist.?

Plus when you’re 5”3, you just can’t catch a break, it's just the chest and face of the next person over and over again, and then you think you’re about to catch a break, but nope! There’s a small blooming child that you’re about to barrel over.

I’d prepared myself to really indulge in some fun novelty food, but there were just so many people and so much going on, I was exasperated. I managed to find a little cafe called Camden Coffee. Which I dived into after about an hour, for some respite. This turned out to be a blessing in disguise because I discovered my first ever ‘Cronut’. A croissant doughnut that is shaped like a muffin. My cronut was a caramel one, and it was absolutely dripping with caramel filling. If I could relive eating that cronut, I’d probably do it for the rest of my life, pure bliss. What wasn’t pure bliss however, was that I ordered a hot chocolate. It had cute little hearts on it, it was picture perfect for Valentines day. Unfortunately, after my first sip, I realised that it was my new nemesis. The Cappucino. You can’t write it, it’s like the universe was like, “oh, you still want to be a big adult baby, too bad! Drink this god awful cappuccino instead.” Which I did, because the staff were so friendly and I didn’t have the heart to tell them, and I’d just taken advantage of their free wifi to type out a massive rant about how busy London bloody is. So I forced myself to drink half a cup and then ditched it out of the cafe through a different exit.

I was feeling a bit mopey at this point, and gave myself a full hour to mope on my journey to La La Land food court in Shoreditch. Where I narrowly avoided the on street sales people, and passed another Box Park. Unfortunately however, as I got closer and closer to La La Land which suspiciously looked like an unused and abandoned building, it turned out to be exactly that. Google also helpfully confirmed that it was permanently closed (this is the part where I remind you, I was following and trusting the list written for me).

So after that detour, I felt it was time to head to Darjeeling Express at long last. Where I rode the tube in high hopes of a lovely warm meal. I was going to go all out, no expenses spared on the last meal. I got to Kingly Court following my map to Darjeeling Express. I stood right in front of the building… I wandered into Kingly Court and back out again… I went round the block, I looked up and down, I consulted Google: Permanently Closed.?

I am so proud of myself that I did not cry. I nearly did, there was a tear on the edge of my eye and ready to fall, my stomach was rumbling, but I held it in, and I went back to St Pancras, where I picked up a tuna sandwich at the bloody ground floor Benugo’s and got on an earlier train ride home. Where I ate my stinky tuna sandwich in front of the other frowning London commuters and arrived safely back to my car. Where I then let a tear fall, and then drove home to my bed, where I hid until my partner came over and bought me a Nando’s to cheer me up.

So that was my big mission and my big day. Now I do like London, it’s got culture and tourist spots and niche novelty attractions. I like it. I really really do. And I like going to meetings there and working with clients there, where I don’t have to navigate to a restaurant that doesn’t exist. London’s great. But Toby, sweet, sweet Toby, if you ever send me to London again, with a list full of places that don’t exist, I’ll tell you where to shove that list. Sincerely, your favourite marketing person, Em.

Thank you all for reading my blog piece (*massive rant about London cuisine). I hope it was informative, and perhaps entertaining at my expense. We do actually like doing research for clients and visiting wonderful places like London, in fact some of our colleagues have even gone as far as New York before. They just usually do a better job at checking their to-do list's than I did. At the very least, I’m prepared for next time.?

Thanks, friends!

Em :)