The Mission & Embrace of Love

Have you ever wished you were different than you are so that other people would love you?

~

The hardest moment of my life with regard to not loving myself and wishing I was something other than who I am, came at a moment when the man I felt the most attraction and chemistry with ever, broke up with me again.

He said we weren't compatible because I had my spiritual life and he wasn't into it. He wanted to be the leader of a tribe of two, and my life involved following Divine Love, not him.

All my life, I felt like I never fit in. And I didn't even want to fit in to what everyone else was doing anyway. But I felt so alone. And I longed to feel unconditional love intimately.

When I met this man, so much made sense to me because our chemistry moved me deeply. And I wanted to fit in with him. I wanted him to love me, to want me.

And he did love me and want me. But he didn't want to commit to me.

What I didn't understand during that painful moment was that I was on a journey of finding the love inside myself.

What I felt with him was more of me coming alive. But it was just a hint of who I truly am.

Looking back on that relationship from where I stand today, I see how wounded and needful I was.

And so was he. We were well-matched in our smallness.

But he was right. We weren't compatible.

Because I was called to fulfill a mission of showing others how to experience Divine Love energy within themselves to open profound peace, harmony, and love in their life and their relationships...

...even though at that time, I was still struggling to break free from acting out my wounded neediness in relationship.

After losing that relationship, I found where unconditional love was hiding.

I thought I was supposed to find it with a man. Isn't that what the fairy tales say?

But in fact, I realized it was me. I was the lover who was overlooking myself by caring less about my authentic self than about some special guy's attention.

This realization was my turning point. I embraced my calling.

I let myself breathe in my nature.

...my burning drive to feel, follow, and express the energy and spiritual passion of Divine Love energy from my core in my walk, in my work, and in my relationships.

...my curious discipline to investigate any shadow in my psyche that would bump me from this inner balance and love-guided expression.

I live and breathe this life. And I burn to give it.

When I let myself love this self that I am, I felt a new peace.

It was light and innocent and so kind inside me.

And I cried tears of homecoming. I had been looking for this for so long.

I vowed to never again compromise this sacred authenticity in my being.

And I was thereafter graced to enter a relationship with a man who fell in love with me BECAUSE of my soul mission.

He completed with me the second half of the learning that would prepare me to serve as I was called.

With him, I have experienced how it feels... how it works... to flow in courageously honest communication with presence...

...to value being authentic more than to get needs met, and discover that all real needs are met by this approach because intimacy is deeper and more profound.

I have experienced how to be deeply engaged... actively partnered... and yet to not control, nor be controlled.

I have had the honor of experiencing how to work gently through conflicts and misunderstandings to find even deeper intimacy on the other side.

And how the trust between us just keeps growing deeper and breaking through the internal barriers that had grown up around my heart when I wasn’t looking.

I am so grateful to love and be in love in this way that is so naturally synergistic with my soul mission and my essence.

My highest desire is to share this way of being in relationship with couples so they too can experience profound authenticity, connection, and intimacy that supports them in answering their own calling in love. ??