Missing memories of lovely people in our heart
Kishore Shintre
#newdaynewchapter is a Blog narrative started on March 1, 2021 co-founded by Kishore Shintre & Sonia Bedi, to write a new chapter everyday for making "Life" and not just making a "living"
Yes, you can miss the memories for how things were. You know that memories like those can’t be created again due to changing circumstances, and due to the fact that the people in those memories have changed. Your relationship with them has changed, and it will never be like it once was, and there is nothing wrong with that. Like a childhood memory with one of your childhood friends. The memory will remain about the great time you had together, but you realize now that you are not friends anymore because you have nothing in common and are completely different people. Therefore you can miss the time you had together at that moment in time, but know that those memories were possible only for that one point in the past, and so you don’t really miss the people that made those memories for you.
The memories are like your favorite toys when you were little, you can look back at them and even pick them up, but you know you can’t create those memories again because the pure pleasure you got from playing with them when you were little isn’t possible anymore. So you look at them, and smile, maybe even a little tear comes down your cheek, because all you can be is grateful that they happened to you. I discovered something about recalling memories that had a profound effect on me yet after a while and ups and downs had made me forget, now this question made me remember to go deep and remembered it so here it is
Some twenty years ago I came across the masterpiece of Marcel Proust namely : Remembrance of things Past! I was delighted and got a lazy summer in the countryside to read it, now a memory in its own class like the Summer of 42! This was a summer of 91! Proust had discovered something like a Deja Vu! Except even more vividly felt about recalling a memory of the past and that was a recollection so strong so vivid that basically you are taken back in time to when it was and you felt every sensation feelings and well…….it's like live and you feel it's real! It only lasts less than a minute boom you're there totally fully experiencing the memory live every detail is preserved !
Wow I thought but here's a man who wasn't just a best Seller, but his book is considered an addition to the works of literary greats !he had claimed that something is the trigger point initiates the mind’s total recall all of a sudden! A few days later in grocery market it all lined up and boom the forty years old ne I was six and with my dad going to grocery market from the parking lot and I was asking my Dad if he would be getting ice cream and heard him in his voice ice cream? Of course wearer getting ice cream. His smile was the last vivid thing ans I was back, stunned I stopped to take it all in, I'd gone back in time to that a moment absorbed it completely and was back all under a minute, it was mesmerizing, I just thought wow that was a Marcel Proust moment!
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For the next year it had triggered two more!then it seemed to have disappeared I'm now hoping to resume it by keeping the thought. I hope one of you experience it how it is to…be there always. Human nature and the psyche is not organized that way. It does not make such distinctions. The person and the memories are part of the same experience and our feelings engage with both aspects. The key here is “miss.” If by it you mean “attached” then there is work to do on letting go of your emotional incompletions. Once done you won’t need to try and separate the two because you will no longer carry an emotional charge about them.
Some time a person associated with memory may be completely different now but the memory we had is as it is so we miss memories because they are original without any alteration, memories does not need to mould themselves with the changing condition , they maintain their original form no matter how dark is the surrounding, dirt never effects them, even you looking at it after so many years. You will find it clear and clean. Habits make you miss the person, which also makes you remember the moments you've spent with them, moments that might be worth remembering or worse to forget, but you miss them all. We are all used to their very presence. Call them up, share our lives etc.
You might feel bad about those things and the relation had with that person. It can be your friendship, Professional relationship etc. But you will always appreciate later that it happened because everything is a game of energy and vibe, if you want to be together and happy, then you'd be together regardless of the situations and circumstances. We genuinely miss the person but we intensively don′t want the person back in life because we know subconsciously that hanging on was a lot of painful to let go of.?
Never regret your decision, particularly if you have a feeling of gut talking about it! Any scenario does have a different point of view and when you embrace the truth and try to see it you're going to start feeling better. The time you spend together and the talks make us miss them more but life is always been unfair so that it can be fair in the end. (Read that again!) In the end here are few things which might be a virtuoso for you. The experience you had in terms of memories with them. The time you spent with them. Things you discovered with them. How not to mess up maybe? Things that can be changed for better and a lot more. Cheers!
Counselling Psychologist / Child Psychologist / Parenting & Adolescent counselor / Happiness Coach
3 年Nice sharing
Certified Soft Skills Trainer, certified Outbound trainer, Campus to corporate trainer and a certified Image consultant. Believing in Humanity, I strongly Advocate for Education of Girl Child.
3 年There a word in Portuguese 'Saudade 'which is similar to what you wrote Sir .
Experienced business development professional clinical research Phase I to Phase IV.
3 年Thanks a lot Sir for this inspirational post ??
HR, Mentor, "Self Empowering Mindset Coach", &"Motivational Speaker". "Winning From Within": A Signature Personalised Coaching Program
3 年Kishore Shintré Thanks Dear Sir, Yes we are always in dynamic exchange of environment, experiences and people. Stagnancy is not the nature of the existence. Awesome post ??????