The Missing Ingredient in Workplaces, Communities, and Events: Empathy

From “Leading with Empathy” to “Technology Is Killing Empathy,” headlines and new research are giving empathy a moment. To better understand what we mean when we talk about empathy, why it’s important, and how to cultivate it, we spoke with PRHSB speaker Dr. Simran Jeet Singh , author of The Light We Give. He shared how he brings this essential skill into his everyday interactions, his work, and his speaking.

“Building empathy is about learning to see the humanity in ourselves and in one another,” Dr. Singh says. “We are most empathetic when we feel connected to the people around us and truly understand that our wellbeing is tied up with one another’s.”

Singh explains that empathy is critical for successfully navigating the world because it enables us to relate to and understand people from different backgrounds and experiences. Empathy can help us communicate and work together better, lead and motivate others more effectively, manage interpersonal conflict and change more easily, and see the bigger picture.

What happens when we don’t feel empathy is worth noting, too. We feel more isolated, disconnected, and stressed. We’re also less innovative, and our performance and productivity can suffer.

Singh cautions that while empathy is having a moment, it’s crucial that we don’t attempt to skip any steps in trying to foster it. Knowing about its value is not enough; we also must learn how to effectively put it into practice in our lives and work.

“We have access to more information than any society in history,” he notes. “If knowledge were to bring us happiness and social cohesion, we’d be in a great place right now. But look where we are as a society, and how much we’re struggling individually. We know that empathy is fundamental to living and working together, but we haven’t spent much time learning how to cultivate it. This is why I feel so passionate about guiding people into becoming more empathetic.”

So, what can we do to develop this crucial skill as business leaders, employees, and students? Here are three strategies he shared:

1. Curiosity is key. It’s easy to put others in a box based on their appearance, views, or background. Dr. Singh encourages us to fight that urge and instead ask them questions about their experiences and really listen to their answers. “In the moments when you notice yourself judging others, challenge yourself to hold that judgement and ask questions instead. I try to pause and wonder: ‘Here’s what this looks like for me; what does it look like for you? And why?’ This simple reframe gives us an opportunity to challenge their assumptions and find our shared humanity.”
2. Try prioritizing commonalities over differences. “We live in a culture where empathy is not the norm. We’re so polarized and divided that our questions about one another often are not ‘How are we connected?’ or ‘What do we have in common?’, but ‘Are you on my side or the other side?’ It’s on this basis that we decide how we choose to relate to people. There’s no room for complexity, and we don’t give people a chance. Who loses in this approach? All of us.” He notes this is sometimes where DEI work can be met with resistance if it focuses too much on what makes people different without also recognizing the common ground we share.
3. The best way to inspire empathy in others is to model it yourself. Dr. Singh does this by sharing his story with people in all its vulnerability, including mistakes and assumptions he’s made. “You can’t lecture your way into people’s hearts,” he says. “What I’ve really come to believe is that in order to open up other people, you need to begin opening yourself up.” Doing this gives others permission and the courage to reciprocate.

After Dr. Singh’s speaking events, audience members frequently come up to him to tell their own stories and experiences, which are often wildly different than his. That’s when he knows his message has made an impact. “It’s when we can see ourselves in one another that we’re really building empathy. Sharing our stories can help people enter into new worlds, and over time, it can help us see one another in a new light,” he says. “This is why I believe empathy is an antidote for many of the challenges we face currently. It’s a tool for personal transformation and social transformation—and it begins with the simple step of learning to see one another for who we truly are.”

To book Dr. Simran Jeet Singh for a speaking engagement, click here.