Missing Information

I do a lot of work in the family court, working with parents and asking them about their childhoods.

Frequently what comes up when talking to parents is that there are aspects of information that they are not clear about.

Yet, even as an adult now, they have been unable to ask the questions they want and need answers to.

As a result they go through their whole life, failing to ask the questions and gain the knowledge they require.

The impact of this is invariably harmful to them throughout their entire life.

I have worked with parents who for example have felt that their parents treated them less favourably than their siblings.

Whether or not their view was true or it was to do with their perception, the result remained the same.

Because it meant that the conversation did not take place and thus they were left with the same unanswered questions.

Another parent I worked with had been exposed to incidents of harm, one of their parents was aware of the harm.

But they never discussed it openly within the family.

Thus, the child was never sure whether the other parent was aware of the harm they received.

Can you imagine how that would have felt?

They did not feel important enough, loved enough, or valued enough for their experience to have been acknowledged.

The impact on the parent was devastating.

It affected their self esteem, self worth, their ability to form relationships and parent appropriately.

These negative feelings will have impacted on this parent for the rest of their life, unless they were addressed.

So it is crucial that you gain answers to the questions inside of you whilst you can.

Asking the same questions that you constantly receive no answer to is very frustrating and highly damaging.

For your own sake make the effort to ask the questions and find the answers.

It is the quality of the questions, and the information you gain, that determine the quality of your life.

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