The missing element: Feeling

Without feeling, we are efficient machines, cold calculators, disconnected from the very thing we seek to improve: life.

Many (too many) of the shiny, market-approved approaches leave out the critical element of feeling . It’s as if we’ve collectively agreed that growth, progress, and ultimately evolution, are only possible through logic, strategy, and action plans—neatly packaged, measurable steps that lead from point A to point B. But feeling? That’s deemed too unruly, too personal, too slow for the relentless tempo of modern life. These frameworks are neat, measurable, and marketable. They appeal to our intellect, to our desire for clarity and control. But conspicuously absent from these algorithms for living, for leading, for change is the quiet, yet profound invitation to feel. Feeling—so human, so messy, so unpredictable—is left out, as though it were some inconvenient guest at the banquet of rationality.

Why?

Because feeling is not productive in the way we’ve been taught to value productivity. It doesn’t slot neatly into a PowerPoint slide. It can’t be graphed or charted. Feeling disrupts the linearity of decision-making. It asks us to pause, to sink into the body and the soul, rather than sprint toward the next actionable step. But this is precisely why it matters.

Feeling is the pulse beneath the skin of our decisions, the beating heart of human experience that too many approaches pretend doesn’t exist.

We privilege logic and intellect as if they alone can carry the weight of our shared reality. In leaving “feel” out of the equation (check out my latest creative project #bringyourheartintotheequation ), we hollow out the depth of what it means to truly listen and learn . We act on what we “know,” but what is knowledge without the wisdom ? Without the gut sense that something—though it looks right on paper—is utterly wrong?

In leadership, in education, in policy-making—what happens when we prioritize feeling? When we let empathy, grief, joy, and confusion hold court with logic and action? The system might slow, yes. But maybe it should. Maybe slowing down to feel would open us to the relational complexities that are at the core of every challenge we face.

There is wisdom in feeling, but it is the kind of wisdom that resists commodification. And that’s why it’s left out.

Maybe the real reason we omit “feel” is because it refuses to play by the rules of efficiency, clarity, and progress. Feeling disrupts. Feeling demands presence. And feeling requires us to acknowledge that to be human is not only to know, but also to ache, to love, to mourn, and to wonder . In leaving out feel, we are cutting out the very heart of change itself.

We’re encouraged to “think critically,” “analyze deeply,” and “take action.” But rarely are we told to “feel deeply.” And even when emotions are acknowledged, they are often framed as hurdles to overcome—impediments to progress rather than integral components of it. We talk about “managing” emotions as if they are rogue elements to be tamed, rather than sources of wisdom to be tapped.

But here’s the thing: evolution and transformation—true transformation —are not a clean, linear journey. It’s not about following a set of instructions until you achieve “success ” or “growth” as if it were a destination you could map out .

Without feeling, development is hollow. It’s surface-level improvement, a change in appearance rather than substance. It becomes an exercise in performing growth rather than embodying it.

And yet, we avoid feeling because it demands that we confront discomfort, that we sit in spaces of not-knowing, that we embrace vulnerability. These are not things that make for great TED talks or slick personal development workshops. But they are the things that make for genuine human evolution. It’s easier, of course, to build models that skip the inconvenient, unpredictable realm of emotions. But in doing so, we are denying the fullness of what it means to develop, to learn, and to be fully alive.

True development demands we honour not just what we think, but what we feel. All ArtfulMindset programs are designed with this in mind. I invite you to have a look at some of our programs here , or reach out for a consultation.

This is part of a more extensive piece I have written on the blog. You can read the full article here .

#feeling #complexity #emotions #artfulmindset #artfulleadership