Missing connection

I’ve now been working from my home for 16 months. There are a lot of positives and we’ve made great progress in changing attitudes to flexible working. But there is a problem: real life connection is missing.?

Zooming on empty

Living alone through the pandemic was tough. During one of the lockdowns, we had a leaving party over Zoom with soon-to-be ex work colleagues. We played music and shared photos. We said heartfelt thanks and goodbyes. As the video meeting ended, I found myself again in an empty room. That strange transition from being in company via the screen to being alone. How can I describe the feeling? It’s like talking to someone on the phone and realising they aren’t there anymore. The switch happens so fast that your emotions haven’t caught up.?

Then a message popped up on Slack, ‘after party?’ Another Zoom call, which only those in our team who lived alone joined. I guess none of us wanted to spend more time on Zoom that evening but we all wanted to delay the emptiness.

As I continue to process this, all I know for sure is that I miss connection. I’m less sure who I miss connecting with: close friends and family of course (maybe) but also colleagues, acquaintances, friends of friends, baristas! None of these labels seems to do justice to the positive value of little moments of connection. They anchor us in the now and help us in the future.?

Continual cultivation

For many people socialising is a personal and professional blend. It’s risky to expect a partner or friends from the past to be your only network. We need social interaction in many and varied forms. And we need to keep cultivating, adding people to replace others who move on to different realms/countries/life-stages. If you are shy and introverted as I am, it can be tough to find the energy. Previously I relied on others to make arrangements and introductions. Now those opportunities are fewer.?

Serendipity?

Finding the UX community in London around a decade ago helped me to feel more at home. One day I went to a picnic with close friends and friends of friends, including a Texan UX consultant. Years later I found myself in Austin, Texas where I knew nobody and had no plans. A friend of this acquaintance took me for Mexican breakfast and drove me to the airport. Loose connections are valuable - you never know how and when you’ll need them.

The fun in chaos

My last few jobs gave me the opportunity to meet many good people. Connection is often forged in a shared mission and the sublime yet ridiculous circumstances we find ourselves in trying to get it done. Like 3 out of 4 lifts not working when the team sat on the 16th floor, prompting a challenge to see how quickly we could walk up the stairs. It’s in these moments of frustration, chaos or improvisation that we find ourselves connecting.?

Looking forward

So where will connection be found next? As restrictions lift, I’ll join groups, local activities and go to my nearest cafe enough to be a regular. I’m so looking forward to meeting my team in Ireland and fellow students of my MBA program. And I hope to explore co-working spaces and remote working abroad too. It’s time to connect again.?