Miserable At Your Job? Follow these 9 tips:

We have all had to deal with a job that was difficult at some time or another as this is a normal part of anyone’s career. Sometimes we find ourselves dealing with a miserable job situation that doesn’t seem to get better no matter what we do. This can leave us feeling disempowered, miserable and hopeless wondering what to do next.

Of course we can always quit our job, but many of us don’t like the thought of launching into a job search, having to start over and just that awful feeling of giving up on something that you once had so much hope in.

Most people start jobs passionate about the company, the opportunity and the prospect of what they will be doing. If that doesn’t get channeled in the right direction or work out like we planned it can be frustrating. What makes an experience even worse is when you had that at some point, lose it and just can’t seem to get it back.

Deciding whether to stay at or leave a job is a very personal decision. You can always seek counsel from others, but determining what move is right for you has to come from you as this is your career.

One question to consider is, “Do I have the energy to figure out what is going on and work on a solution to turn it around?” Most of us hate change and want things to work out, so if you are willing to invest some time and energy, this is generally a great place to start.

The tips below can help you work through this process:

1. Build trust. One thing managers dislike is employee who they feel can’t be trusted. Before you engage in hallway conversations with other employees about management, talk to HR or air your grievances directly to your manager take some time to build a rapport with them. Open some dialogue with them by asking questions about the direction of the department or company, listen to what they have to say, and most importantly don’t react. Trust building always begins with open communication and taking the time to understand someone else’s perspective. Managers respect well informed employees and employees become well informed by getting the facts, understanding alternative viewpoints and investing themselves in a process.
2. Ask questions. Before you react to information you hear, ask questions. Always consider that you may not have all the facts. This doesn’t mean you instantly agree with what you heard once you hear the facts but gives you a 360 perspective better enabling you to respond. Part of building your credibility at work is by making informed decisions and responding from that point. You will gain respect in the eyes of management and your co-workers by asking probing questions, gathering all the facts and then determining your best course of action.
3. Listen. Take the time to listen to what is really going on. Sometimes employees have a tendency to draw conclusions based on a few data points. Listening requires more than just hearing information it also necessitates properly understanding that information. There is generally something driving workplace changes, management behavior, etc. Once you figure out the root cause(s), you can better understand what is going on and why.
4. Pause. This doesn’t mean ignore, it means you take some time to evaluate all the information at hand. When you don’t react immediately, step back, and reflect on what is going on sometimes you have a clearer perspective. Some situations just aren’t ideal, and some managers just don’t have a clue so taking a moment to pause allows you to respond from a place that isn’t emotionally driven and may allow others to hear a message when they aren’t in the heat of emotion.
5. Avoid power struggles. There is no need to prove that you know what is best. Even if you worked for the company for a long time, if you engage in that type of banter with a manager you will quickly lose your power and any ability to negotiate with them. Trying to put someone in their place (no matter how wrong they are) will not foster respect or collaboration. Your true power lies in your ability to remain calm, state the facts and stay solution oriented.
6. Do not align others. If something is going on at work that has you unhappy, frustrated and ready to quit – even if others are voicing similar concerns, remain focused on your perspective. Don’t turn this into a battle of epic proportions by aligning the masses against the organization as this will only put management on the defense. Stay focused on your “I” statements and concentrate on your perspective. Allow other employees to speak for themselves. I can’t tell you how many times an employee has voiced concerns on behalf of an entire department only to find themselves abandoned by the other department members when it came time to confront the issue. You are there to improve your situation, not save the world.
7. Remain solution focused. Things rarely change for the better in the heat of conflict and managers typically don’t respond well to complainers. For every problem you surface, present a solution and if you don’t have one, express your willingness to partner with management to find a solution that is a win/win. Let management know that your goal is to love your job and be engaged in what you do. This will keep management open, attentive and willing to explore alternative solutions.
8. Respect boundaries. There are some things that managers can’t tell you. A good manager will hear your concerns and let you know that right now they can’t give you the information that you are seeking but will discuss it with their peers and get back to you. You may be spot on with your concerns and observations but due to organizational confidentialities you may not be able to get the answers you’d like. If this happens, ask the manager if they would be able to discuss it at a later time or if these are things they have considered and are working through. Remember they are employees to and have their own challenges.
9. Evaluate. Once you have all the facts, have explored solution oriented approaches to changing your situation and engaged your boss evaluate all the information at hand. It may be that you just need to ride it out for a while longer to see if things get better, you may need to shift your perspective or you may need to just accept things as they are. Make sure to keep a balanced approach to your job. When things go bad, it is human nature to hyper focus on the negative and minimize (if not forget) the positive. If all else fails you may need to look for alternative employment either inside or outside your organization. Go deeper with this exercise and make sure that you have explored every possible alternative before leaving your job.

Remember this is your job experience, your quality of life and your journey. Only you can determine if this is a situation worth working through or one that you need to change. The best gift you can give yourself is a clear understanding that you did everything possible to make the best decision and trust the process.

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