Misconceptions about Anxiety and 9 tips on how to avoid them

Anxiety is one of those disorders that still to this day has misconceptions about what it really is and what is the best way to deal with people who you think may be suffering. There are so many types of Anxiety including OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), Phobias and GAD (Generalised Anxiety Disorder).

I have worked, lived and spent considerable amounts of time with many people who suffer from Anxiety through my charity work at MIND; one thing that we all agree on is that the majority of people tend to misunderstand Anxiety.  In fact, what most people do not realise is that each person may be completely different in terms of the type of anxiety they have, how they cope and how they react, including the medication and therapies they may engage with.  

In short there isn’t a ‘one size fits’ all when discussing Anxiety, however, I have developed some tips below from my encounters with real people who suffer with Anxiety in the hope that sufferers get the treatment they deserve both at home and in the workplace and that people start to avoid the common misconceptions.

 1. Educate!

Anxiety isn’t ‘just’ panic attacks and the inability to breathe when this takes over.  It is a chronic condition that can have physical effects on the body and cause exhaustion, lack of sleep and depleted energy and motivation levels.  Everyone is affected differently and some people do not suffer with panic attacks but may be in a routine of washing hands or having items in a certain place.

Just click on this link to read more about it: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/#.V6NLTdIrJNA

There are so many sites and free resources which help suffers but also their friends, family and colleagues.

This is the on of the most important tasks for employers as they need to understand from a medical point of view what the employee suffers from but also engage with the employee to see how it affects their ability to perform their role.

 2.Too sensitive/ moody…

People with anxiety may appear to take things personally or be overly sensitive.  However, their emotions are gauged on a completely different level. Anxiety cannot be compared to run of the mill worrying, we all worry, that is normal.  The chronic excessive worrying which forms a part of GAD is so consuming it causes exhaustion, complete lack of concentration and memory loss.  This can make someone appear to overreact or exaggerate when this is not the case at all.

Anxiety tends to stem from unstable environments or traumatic events (particularly with PTSD and GAD), usually those who suffer have been through a lot and are pretty thick skinned. It is not fair to assume that because of their Anxiety they are overly sensitive as this undermines what they have been through and where they are going on their journey. 

3.Comments that don’t help but are always used…

‘Just chill out’ 'don't worry' or ‘calm down’….. these comments really do not help. A person suffering with Anxiety cannot help their current state and knolw that they have to ride through it; they aren’t enjoying it and they certainly are not doing it on purpose.

‘Everything is going to be fine’ – this is short term reassurance which then disappears within seconds. This kind of short term reassurance feeds the anxiety and should be avoided and certainly not repeated.

                Would you tell a depressed person to stop being sad?

Sufferers (almost) always feel bad. They feel guilty about most things as well as the effects it has on others; comments like this can trigger anxiety tremendously as it appears to the sufferer to be a blatant misunderstanding of their condition and make them feel bad for appearing ‘not chilled’ or ‘not ok’.

4. Panic attacks = anxiety

 Some people don’t suffer from Anxiety (or panic) attacks, but this doesn’t make their anxiety worse or better than those who do. It is just different. The media sensationalise mental disorders and stereotype Anxiety as to hyperventilation into a paper bag, looking like they may die from shortness of breathe.  This is incorrect.

 Those suffering may be suffering all of the time but don’t appear to be so. They are good at hiding it most of the time as they feel guilty for becoming emotional or frustrated in front of colleagues, friends or family.

 Anxiety attacks can cause a complete mind block and make it difficult for the sufferer to function at all, they do not have to hyperventilate (although many do) for it to be an Anxiety attack.  The best way to describe an anxiety attack is when it completely takes over the mind and body.

5. Reassurance – good or bad?

You should always be proud when they have improved (whether at work or at home) or you notice something good.  People with Anxiety can read your emotions differently so it is important to be clear in your communication if you think they deserve praise for improvements.

However, you MUST be careful NOT to give repeated reassurance about the same thing. This may be as small as constantly saying their hair looks good or the outfits suits them.  You can say it once or twice at the most but DO NOT repeat yourself.  If they seek reassurance repeatedly, this is them trying to justify and rationalise the 1% uncertainty that they may not look good (this is despite the fact that they chose what to wear and they felt good at the time then have subsequently been told they look good they will focus on the smallest possibility that they don’t and seek reassurance).

The reassurance is short lived hence why they keep asking again, and again.

6. It’s the small things that count

Just saying ‘call me anytime’ or asking to hang out indirectly helps and is very little effort on your part.

It keeps their mind busy, lets them know you care and doesn’t leave them out of their social circles.  

Being around others helps greatly, even if it is at work

 7. Patience is the key

As I have said before Anxiety is a complex condition which is not only thought related but also related to chemical imbalances in the brain.  Sometimes there is nothing you can do to help them apart from being patient.  Whilst you may not understand what is going on and feel frustrated at the situation, DO NOT get frustrated with them. 

It is important to remember that you can control your emotions and thoughts; they cannot.

 8. Sometimes you will be the trigger – this is not personal

This may be how to approach a task at work that you have set or how to reply to a message that you have sent to them.  DO NOT feel guilty or take it personally; anxiety can be triggered by the most unexpected situations.

Don’t ask them ‘have I done something wrong?’

It is important to remember that anxiety stems from a much bigger picture and is much more than just a minor incident or one off occurrence.

9. Be kind – always

Living with anxiety is like climbing through a muddy hole layered with quicksand, with weights attached to your arms and legs – everything is a monumental effort, even the simplest tasks can be terrifying and seem impossible.  Despite what many some people may think no one wants to feel this way, nor do they choose to react in the ways that they do.  They also are not DOING this to anyone.  Unfortunately it is happening to them, inevitably friends, family, colleagues will get caught in the crossfire one way or another.  If we all take a bit of time and are more mindful that everyone we come across is on a journey and we do not know where in that journey they are and what impact our behaviours may have on them, this of course applies in life generally but more so with those who suffer from Anxiety.

If we adopt some for the above tips we will be helping people on their journeys to coping with their anxiety and help to create a more positive working environment as a result.

If you or one of your employees / colleagues suffers with Anxiety then please contact me for a free consultation to see if we can help them stay in work and get reasonable adjustments to suit the needs of the employee and the business.  I also offer bespoke training on all area of employment law including workshops on handling employees with mental health problems and Equality Training.

My email is [email protected]                 

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