The Misconception of Sending Kids to the West: A Disconnection from Heritage and Family
In many Indian households, sending children to the West is often seen as the ultimate path to success and a better life. The allure of prestigious universities, high-paying jobs, and a lifestyle that promises comfort and progress has driven countless parents to encourage, if not push, their children to pursue their futures in countries like the United States, Canada, the UK, or Australia. The underlying belief is that this move will open doors to opportunities that may not be readily available in India. However, this decision can have unintended consequences—ones that many parents fail to fully recognize.
The Dream vs. Reality
For generations, Indian parents have viewed Western education and work experience as a status symbol, a ticket to financial success and societal prestige. The assumption is that their children will return with advanced degrees and lucrative careers, propelling the family’s stature both economically and socially. While this can be true in some cases, the reality is often more complicated.
Children who move abroad often find themselves caught between two worlds. They adapt to new cultures, lifestyles, and societal norms that are vastly different from those in India. Over time, they may develop a sense of belonging in the West, which can dilute their connection to their roots and heritage. As their children assimilate into Western societies, many of them experience a shift in priorities—focusing on their individual success and personal freedom rather than on maintaining traditional family values.
The Erosion of Family Bonds
One of the most profound consequences of this exodus is the strain it places on family relationships. Traditionally, Indian culture places a strong emphasis on close-knit family units, where children grow up to care for their parents in old age. Parents often invest everything—emotionally, financially, and spiritually—in their children, with the hope that they will one day repay this care by providing companionship and support during their later years.
However, when children move to the West, the geographic and emotional distance often becomes too great to bridge. Long gone are the days of multigenerational households where elders are revered and taken care of. Instead, parents back home find themselves increasingly isolated, with little more than occasional phone calls or video chats to sustain their relationships with their children. Even worse, some children may choose not to return at all, citing career demands or the more appealing lifestyle in the West.
The result? Parents who once believed they were securing a brighter future for their children are left facing the twilight of their lives alone, with no one to care for them or carry on the family legacy.
End of Heritage, End of Traditions
Perhaps the most poignant loss in this dynamic is the erosion of cultural heritage. For many Indian parents, sending their children to the West is done with the hope that they will retain their cultural values and traditions while succeeding abroad. However, immersion in a Western environment often means adopting Western ideologies and practices, which can clash with traditional Indian values.
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Indian festivals, rituals, and religious practices may lose significance in the face of a busy, Westernized lifestyle. Children growing up in the West are more likely to celebrate Halloween than Diwali, or Thanksgiving over Raksha Bandhan. Language barriers may also arise, with grandchildren often unable to speak their grandparents' native tongues fluently, further alienating them from their roots.
The dilution of these cultural practices doesn’t only affect the present generation—it also impacts the future. With each passing year, traditions and values that have been passed down through generations risk fading away, as they are no longer practiced or appreciated by those living in the West. This disconnection from one's culture can lead to a weakening of the family’s identity and lineage, making it difficult for future generations to relate to their Indian heritage.
A Diminishing Lineage
For many Indian parents, lineage and family name carry immense significance. The notion of raising children who will carry forward the family’s legacy, both in terms of tradition and bloodline, is deeply rooted in Indian culture. Yet, sending children abroad disrupts this continuity. Many Western-born or Western-raised Indians may marry outside of their culture, further distancing themselves from their heritage. Some may choose not to have children at all, or raise their offspring with entirely different values, ones that do not reflect the priorities of their ancestors.
This could spell the end of a family’s lineage, not just in the physical sense, but also in terms of cultural continuity. A family’s traditions, language, values, and stories—passed down for centuries—may disappear within a generation, leaving behind little trace of the rich heritage that once defined it.
Rethinking the West as the Ultimate Dream
It is important to recognize that sending children to the West isn’t inherently negative. For many, it provides life-changing opportunities and experiences. However, Indian parents must take a more holistic view of this decision. The cost of sending children abroad often extends beyond the financial—it includes the emotional and cultural sacrifices that come with distance and disconnection.
As more Indian families reconsider this trajectory, it’s worth asking whether the pursuit of material success abroad outweighs the importance of maintaining close family ties, cultural heritage, and a sense of belonging. Parents must weigh the benefits of a Western education and career against the potential loss of family unity, support in old age, and the erosion of their cultural identity.
In the end, success should be measured not only by professional achievement but also by the strength of family bonds, the preservation of tradition, and the continuity of lineage—things that can’t be easily reclaimed once they are lost.
Application Support Engineer at Excelsoft Technologies
1 个月Great advice, thank you.
Manager - Marketing & Communications at Zinnov
1 个月Interesting perspective. But didn't you study post graduation in the US as well? I realize that you've built and grown a company in India, but you have experienced the west yourself. Isn't it a bit unfair to tell others to not go to the west/abroad? Also, not everyone who goes abroad loses their culture or roots. I have seen instances where they carry more Indianness than they did when they were in India.
Associate Consultant at Tata Consultancy Services
1 个月Very informative
Founder at Truly Essential | Forest Ffresh
1 个月Finally somebody said it. Excellent article Adarsh! This is the truth and hope Indian parents realize this.