Misaligned and Over-Fantasized: Motherhood

I lost my mom when I was just 19. Growing up, I often heard stories across cultures about how motherhood is honored, glorified, and placed on a pedestal. Now, as a mother myself, I see it differently.

This perspective might be uncomfortable for some, but that’s the purpose of this newsletter—not to offend, but to offer a different lens on a deeply ingrained belief. Please don't read if you are not yet ready to see the different side of the over-fantasized motherhood, it may be disruptive.

The Over-Fantasization of Motherhood

Motherhood is often over-fantasized, portrayed as the ultimate incarnation of perfection—selfless, pure, incapable of mistakes, and always sacrificing. A mother, we are told, can do no wrong. But is that really true?

Motherhood is a biological process, not a mental upliftment of consciousness.

Motherhood is a biological process, not a mental upliftment of consciousness. Yet, society places unrealistic expectations on mothers, turning them into symbols of perfection. This comes at a cost, as it forces women to suppress their emotions, struggles, and flaws.

The Burden of Unrealistic Expectations

?? From a Woman’s Perspective: The pressure to meet unrealistic standards can be crushing. By idealizing motherhood, we confine women to a frame of expectations where they are expected to hide their struggles. When their struggles surface, they are either ignored or criticized.

When my daughter was just a few days old, I returned home from work in acute pain. I had received three spinal injections during my C-section. The relative at home immediately asked me to check on the baby as soon as I entered. I said I needed to lie down first. That simple act branded me as an unattached mother—someone who didn’t care about her child. This is a clear example of how motherhood is overexaggerated with unrealistic expectations.

Some says, mother knows everything, no she does not. She is a normal human being.

While I love my daughter deeply, I don’t strive to be the perfect mother. Nor does my motherhood automatically make me immune to flaws like gossiping, mistreating others, or being unfair at times. I am human, imperfect, and constantly evolving.

?? Mothers Are Not Always Saints: There are heartbreaking stories of mothers harming their own children, making choices that defy the glorified image we hold. She is human with all human emotions, but our cultural conditioning makes us blind to anything other than kindness and sacrifice in her. What binds us blinds us, and we conveniently blindfold ourselves from any wrongdoing of our mother, thinking it's always others who are wrong. It requires a lot of maturity to see things without the tinted glasses of over-fantasized motherhood a child is programmed to see.

What binds us, blinds us

?? Insecurities, Ego, and Emotions : Why does the nurturing, loving mother sometimes turn into a controlling mother-in-law who resents another woman’s closeness to her son? What changed suddenly? Was it love, or was it insecurity? Most mothers love their children with everything they have, but there is another side to the story as well. No one emotionally blackmails a child more than a mother. Also

Motherhood is not a certificate that grants immunity from flaws or exempts one from accountability.

?? Cultural Compartmentalization : What happens when a mother agrees to end a girl’s life before birth just to have a son? These harsh realities exist, yet society refuses to acknowledge them because they do not align with the idealized image of motherhood.

Let mother be a human

A Call for Realism, Not Disrespect

I am not saying mothers are bad or undeserving of respect. I am saying that they are human too—not divine. Let’s not over-idealize motherhood to the point where we ignore its complexities and contradictions. Let’s respect mothers, but also allow them to be real, flawed, and human.

A mother knows everything. No, she doesn’t. She is just a normal human being, learning and growing like everyone else.

And when we hear reports of crimes, injustice, unfair things done by mothers, let’s not be shocked. Let’s be open to seeing their actions without prejudice, bias and blindness. A mother is capable of making mistakes, even terrible ones, just like any other human being. Being a mother does not vaccinate a woman against all negative emotions or wrongdoing.

Do you think society places unrealistic expectations on mothers, or is the glorification of motherhood justified? Would love to hear your thoughts!

Share it with someone you care about.

Neetu Choudhary

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?? Award-winning keynote speaker, internationally recognized corporate trainer, UAE's top professional development coach, author, idea presentation advisor, and business excellence expert.

You might also be interested in another insightful newsletter by Neetu Choudhary, Stay Relevante : Be Future Ready. This newsletter is focused on business and professional development using Neuroscience, Behavioral Science, Six Sigma and Business Excellence strategies.