Mirrors, Mirrors on the Wall..

We've all heard the Snow White pop-culture phrase that has survived generations. This is an interesting mirror set up at the store, it ponders not the question of the fairest, but our Identity in a social society built on image.. How do we see ourselves vs. How others see us.

Most don’t know when I was kid, I was the shyest of the shy, invisible to the room. Which actually gave me an interesting ‘superpower’. I silently listened to every conversation around me, from every socio and economic group, as if I were not there. I knew more about everyone in class than their close friends, yet they didn’t even know my name. The old saying goes, if you want to know what people really think, leave the room… then stop and listen. That’s when it is revealed. When it looks like I am not listening, that is when I hear everything. Later in life, that listening skill granted me the ability to make friends with anyone from any culture. 

Fast forward, I have thousands of friends across the world that I can call right now and they’d answer. How or why did that change? 

Simple, I build relationships without agenda. When I meet someone, I have no agenda, except to first find out who they are, hear their story and what their purpose is. If I discover our purposes are in alignment or have synergy to help each other reach a greater purpose. 

So my conversations have a purpose, to find theirs. I don’t want to know what they do, as much as why. Who they are, where they came from, their dreams, their failures, what they have overcome in life, character builders.. In other words, mining for Gold. The precious metals are always found beneath the surface. I always find it, not for me to cash in on, yet for them to discover or simply be reminded that someone else recognizes their value too.

Sometimes this throws people off, because the westernized world bases modern friendships or relationships, everything has an MO on image perceptions, ulterior agenda, all the right words and socio-games for advancement… then the reward for salesmen only comes for quickly closing the deal before. That only leads to buyers' remorse, which everyone has experienced. 99% of the people you will meet in life, they are selling you something.. In other words, from "Hello", They want something out of you that benefits them. Then there are the 1% who also make friends without agenda. They are immediately recognizable, these are the rare people we are drawn to because there is no pressure to be anything other than (y)ourself. How can we tell the difference? Salesmen will be there when it benefits them, then they go ‘ghost’ and move to the next sale once the objective is achieved or there is no interest in thier offer. People who value you as a human will always be within reach, even from afar, even if you fail. 

So when I compliment someone, I have nothing to sale, I’m just sharing the gold I find in them. If I walk in a room of 25 people, when I leave, I can tell you the one I was supposed to meet. I simply identified the one who had the most gold inside, that is what I am drawn to, they are the ones who inherently have a greater purpose in life, even if they haven’t walked into or are unaware of it yet, I can see it. It's a part of my gift, my purpose, to help others find thiers. Those are the ones I want to spend more quality time knowing.. The desire for greatness breeds greatness. That’s why my life is so fulfilling, no one is in my life that doesn’t want to be. And I’m not worried about the ones who aren’t if they ever need me, I always be there.    

We are all human, just like others can see my flaws or my qualities better than I, so I listen. I have a brother and he will gladly share if I miss the mark, and I appreciate that. I miss it often. I know his purpose is not to tear down, but to allow me to grow stronger. To become everything I am supposed to be. Iron sharpens iron. 

All this to say, expand your inner circle with people who discovered the gold in you, whether refined or raw gold which still needs to go through the fire to shine. In human relationships, I never try to close the deal, if I do that, then that means I am having to convince someone of my value.. That just means they have yet to discover my gold inside. The ones who do value someone never have to be sold, chased or convinced… they are the ones that actually see your true identity and show up. It is a mutual awe of future potential. So mirrors, mirrors on the wall.. Whose the fairest of them all? For sure, not me, lol, it’s any person whose purpose mirrors another.. And they both recognize it’s reflection.