The Mirror Won't Fix You...

I have a Love-Hate relationship with the mirror in my bathroom. There are days when I look in the mirror I love what I see. I've dropped a few pounds. I'm exercising and getting more toned. I bout a new shirt and slacks and they look good on me. Wow! I'm a handsome guy.

There are other days I gaze into the same mirror and I don't like what is looking back at me. A few more pounds, a few more grey hairs (or a few less hairs), a beard that needs trimming. Eyes are puffy and I look like I haven't slept well in days. Who is this guy?

I think we all secretly feel the same way.

In the Book of James, the author reminds his readers not just to look into the mirror, but to look carefully, intently. It's easy to take a casual glance in the mirror and fail to see the flaws, blemishes, and imperfections looking back at us.

I remember getting dressed early one morning to travel out of town. Not wanting to wake my wife, I dressed in the dark, jumped in my car, and drove toward my destination some 4 hours away. After seeing my back-to-back appointments for the day, I checked into a hotel for the evening. It was only then I noticed that my shirt was not buttoned correctly one side of my shirt was awkwardly sticking out under my sportscoat.

Stupid mirror.

Yet for all the good the mirror did in pointing out the flaws in my attire, the mirror did nothing to fix the problem for me. I could have stared into the mirror for hours, glaring, pouting, complaining, begging, crying, or laughing. But no matter how long, or how intently, I looked into the mirror, it was not going to rebutton my shirt for me.

A mirror points out our flaws, our blemishes, our imperfections, but it doesn't fix them.

Fixing my mess falls on me.

We all need mirrors in our lives. A physical tool we can intently look into that will help us see the flaws, blemishes, and imperfections in our lives so we can work on them. Maybe it's an untucked shirt, a crooked tie, hair not quite in place, a giant pimple on our forehead, or the evidence of a bulging tummy that reminds us to stop eating sweets and start exercising.

But if all we do is look in the mirror and do nothing to change the reflection, the image looking back at us, we don't improve. We don't get better.

A mirror can point out what needs to be fixed in our lives, but it won't fix it for us. The responsibility to fix what's broken in our lives rests with us.

A mirror is a visual reminder of our need for ongoing personal growth and development. It's a personal accountability partner that stares back at us every time we glance its direction. A mirror is harshly honest in its assessment of who we are and doesn't filter our appearance to make us look better than we really do.

A mirror can be a brutal reminder of what needs to be fixed, or it can be a celebratory reminder of the positive changes we are making in our lives...or a bit of both.

James reminded his readers that simply glancing in the mirror and forgetting what we saw is easy. He said it is only when we look carefully that we truly see ourselves for what we really are. It's that intentional, deliberate, reflective look at ourselves that we truly see what needs to change.

Then it's up to us to take the action steps to make that happen.

In the martial arts schools I've trained in over the decades, you'll find mirrors on the wall. The mirrors give you instant feedback on whether you're doing a technique correctly or incorrectly. The mirror reveals the flaws in your stance, your movement, your balance, and the quality of your performance.

The mirror shows you want you're doing right, and what you're doing wrong. It gives you a look in real-time at what's working and what isn't.

You can use this instant feedback to make you better, or you can choose to ignore it and be content to perform at a level less than your best.

The mirror shows you want needs to be improved, but you have to make the improvements.

I have mirrors, both physical and personal. Accountability partners who speak into my life, pointing out my flaws, blemishes, and imperfections, and giving me the instant feedback I need to make myself better. Coaches and mentors who challenge me to stretch myself, to grow, to improve the quality of my thinking, and expand my influence and opportunity.

Mirrors are important. They serve as feedback tools to make me a better version of myself. It is important that we look in the mirror often, and with intentionality. We need the feedback to see what's improving, and what remains to be improved, so we can keep working on becoming a better version of ourselves.

But a mirror won't do the work of improvement for me.

Improvement rests with me.

2X martial arts Hall of Fame inductee, John Terry (The Black Belt Leader) is passionate about helping others become Black Belt Leaders in Life. He is a motivational speaker, leadership, sales & communication coach, and trainer.   

Jessie Terry, John's daughter, is a Certified Speaker, Coach, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team and is actively involved in the JMT Global Youth Initiative. She is also a Real-Life Management trained coach and a certified Women-Safe Self-Defense Instructor.

For more information, schedule John (or Jessie) to speak to your organization or to book a personal, group or corporate coaching session, visit our website at www.beablackbeltleader.com.  

If you are a faith-based organization, learn more about John and Jessie's outreach to churches, para-church organizations or faith-based volunteer groups by visiting www.DunamisFactor.com.

John is an Executive Director with the John Maxwell Team and is passionate about helping others pursue excellence as they become "Leaders in Life". He is also a Master Coach & Trainer with Real Life Management, a human behavioral training organization helping people learn how to live "Real Life" and make better choices when it comes to relationships, money, health, and wellness. John is also a certified DISC Human Behavior Consultant.

John's newest book, Black Belt Leadership 101, released as a #1 New Release on Amazon Kindle in late March and was on the Amazon Best Sellers List for over 2 months. Also available in paperback, this book highlights the 10 essential character traits necessary to live life as a Black Belt Leader in Life.

Why just be a leader, when you can be a Black Belt Leader?

This book includes a Discussion Guide for either your own personal growth and development or to facilitate a group discussion with your Team. Get your copy today.

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