Mirror, Mirror on the Wall: The Quick Guide to Boosting Self-Awareness

While 95% of people believe they're self-aware, studies show the reality; just?10% to 15% actually are (harsh truth: If we are being really honest with ourselves, you [we, I, us] likely do NOT fall into that percentage), according to a five-year research project by organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich.

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First, its important to remember that self-awareness is a journey, not a destination, and we are all at our own milestones within that journey. We judge others quickly on their “level” of self-awareness, and it’s often a reflection of our own desire to improve ours.

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A few thoughts to preface this article;

1.???? Cut yourself some slack, and a sigh of relief. It’s helpful to know that nobody will ever arrive at 100% self-aware. So take the pressure off. You will, however, continue to learn where you’re at, and have the ability to make a plan to continue grow.

2.???? Self-awareness ties directly into your personal brand, executive presence, people’s perception of you, and how that plays out in your promotability and leadership capability. Be aware: You already have a perception (a brand, if you will), but the trick is to know what it is, if, and how you are managing it.

Continuing with the “self-awareness is a journey” metaphor, here’s why buckling up to get on the road to “self-aware” is important…

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For the purpose of simplicity, we can categorize self-awareness into two parts.

-?????? Part 1. Self-Perception

-?????? Part 2. Your Comprehension of External Perception

Both are critical, as its not uncommon to have a differing view or opinion of yourself than others do, whether its positive, or negative.

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Self-awareness is considered one of the 4 pillars of Emotional Intelligence (Self Awareness, Social Awareness, Self Management, Relationship Management, see graphic below) , which is widely credited for being the core factor for promotability into leadership and executive roles.

It’s a must-have for navigating relationship dynamics, promotability, leadership aptitude, unavoidable workplace politics, and more.

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Self-awareness empowers you to regulate emotions, thoughts, feelings, judgements, and associated actions or behaviors + recognize their impact on others. This heightened understanding-of-self aids in handling stress and pressure and enhances one's ability to adapt to changing situations, and empathize with people and context, leading to a more harmonious and efficient work environment.

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So why are only 10-15% of people actually self-aware? Organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich explains that there are three main reasons for this disconnect. First, we all have blind spots. Often, we’re on cruise control, not fully aware of how we’re behaving or why. Second, there’s something called the "feel-good effect": we naturally feel happier when we view ourselves in a positive light, its cyclical. Lastly, the “cult of self,” referring to how we’ve become more self-focused as generations over time have shifted from collective-focused to independent-focused, with social media having a large impact on one’s vanity.

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It's a common misconception that self-awareness is a natural state of mind, but the truth is far more complex. As Harvard Business Review points out, most people believe they are self-aware, yet this critical skill is quite rare. In fact, the paradox of the 10-15% statistic (mentioned in the sub-title) suggests that if you're certain of your self-awareness, chances are you might not be as in tune with your inner and external worlds as you think. In the workplace, this lack of self-awareness can lead to separating your desired personal brand from reality and the perceptions from people who have an impact on your career trajectory, miscommunication, soft and technical skills growth, and strained relationships.

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So how do you cultivate self-awareness? Here’s a few shortcuts to get you started (be sure to read to the end for more);

Building self-awareness doesn't have to be a daunting task. I’ve got your back…

Grab that mirror and engage in objective self-reflection.

1. How did you “show up” today? What were your moods/emotions and how did those show up in your conversations? Is there anything that you are spinning on? What thoughts popped up today that caused an automatic reaction?
2. How do you want to be perceived? Did you show up today in a way that supports this? If so, what did you do? If not, what did you do?
3. Try removing self-judgement – removing your own opinion or bias about how you acted. ?

Explore your own self-awareness by taking self-awareness-related assessments.

1. Top recommendation, specifically focused on you: Energy Leadership Index Assessment with 360 feedback (Energy Leadership Index Assessment)
2. Tasha Eurich’s self-awareness test: Insight-Book Self-Awareness Quiz

Seek feedback from colleagues and honestly evaluate it.

1. Top recommendation: Energy Leadership Index Assessment with 360 feedback tool (Energy Leadership Index Assessment)
2. Ask for feedback from leaders

Check out this article from Positive Psychology for more resources to gauge and practice self-awareness https://positivepsychology.com/building-self-awareness-activities/

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Lets be real, even with these short cuts, when you get the feedback you need, its up to you to take conscious action on it. Again, I've got your back...

The Role of Coaching in Enhancing Self-Awareness

A life, leadership, or executive coach can be instrumental in developing self-awareness. Coaches provide an external perspective, helping you to see blind spots and understand how others perceive you. They encourage a deeper exploration of your values and goals, which is essential for personal growth, and help you see how your blind spots support or detract from your growth. Regular sessions with a coach can accelerate your journey towards becoming more self-aware.

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Finding the Right Coach for You

When seeking a coach, look for someone who resonates with your values and makes you feel safe and open. A good coach doesn’t need to be industry-aligned or have specific experience in, or supporting your line of work, to provide life-changing support. A good coach will challenge you, support you, and provide tools to enhance your self-awareness. Remember, the right coach can be a catalyst for profound change, helping you to navigate your career with greater clarity and purpose.

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If you’ve made it to the end of this, and want to enhance your own self-awareness, you’re in luck. To celebrate the launch of my new program, “The Self Awareness Accelerator”, I am offering a limited number for $600 (valued at $1320). Just DM/reach out to me and mention this Self-Awareness article to get the discount and get started!

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The Self-Awareness Accelerator Includes;

Energy Leadership Index Assessment: Self perception

• How do the filters you’ve grown up with impact how you experience life, act, behave, feel, emote?
• Forbes Top 3 Assessments Every Leader/Executive Should Take - LINK

360 Feedback Assessment: External Perception

• Find out how do others perceive you
• Understand what your leaders need from you in order to continue to move forward in your career
• Learn what your peers, direct reports, partners, clients, and other colleagues think about your leadership capability

Custom Tailored Signature Debrief

• Up to 4 hours, split if needed
• Break down results & understand how they show up in your life
• Prioritize growth opportunities & set a course for action

*If you are interested in providing this for a group, please reach out to me directly so we can discuss a custom program.

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Citations

1. https://hbr.org/2018/01/what-self-awareness-really-is-and-how-to-cultivate-it
2. https://www.theaccessgroup.com/en-gb/blog/dlc-self-awareness-in-the-workplace/
3. https://www.betterup.com/blog/self-awareness-in-the-workplace
4. https://positivepsychology.com/building-self-awareness-activities/