Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall: The Insanity of Vanity

Van·i·ty ?[van-i-tee] 1. excessive pride in one’s appearance, qualities, abilities, achievements, etc.; character or quality of being vain; conceit:?Failure to be elected was a great blow to his vanity; 2. an instance or display of this quality or feeling; 3. something about which one is vain; 4. lack of real value; hollowness;?worthlessness: the vanity of a selfish life; 5. something worthless, trivial, or pointless.

Wait! So it’s a bad thing to care about how you look?

Is it negative to check yourself in the mirror before you go out and face the world?

Does caring about your looks mean you are arrogant and vain?

Of course not!

In our society, it is important to care about grooming, hygiene, and, yes, sometimes even appearances.

For me, attention to physical aesthetics comes directly from my youth: I grew up in the Los Angeles / Hollywood area — where vanity was arguably invented. I learned at an early age which magazines, celebrities, and media outlets were to be admired and emulated, and I did my part as a girl growing up in the 80s to be heavily influenced by pop culture, magazines, and the older girls at school. My focus on looks was not without inspiration — there were role models and examples all around me.

After graduating college, I worked in the entertainment industry, where clients hired our talent for their appeal, looks, and ability to entertain consistently. Later, I spent a few years in the public relations and communications field with cosmetic giant, Max Factor, a division of Revlon, where again the emphasis was on beauty, appearance, youth, and appeal. At Max Factor, our office was in Hollywood, and we spent our days surrounded by models, makeup, and photos of retouched and airbrushed beautiful faces. This certainly reinforced in my mind that there was value in appearance and even in vanity.

So is Vanity a Bad Thing?

Today, as I help build and manage the personal brands of leaders around the world, the concept of vanity continues to rear its head — because the reality is that how someone looks does, in fact, play a role in how we perceive and judge them.

I often have to bring a client’s professional image into alignment with the reputation they desire to consistently communicate. It is critical to understand the role vanity is playing in their image — are they neglecting their appearance (lack of vanity) or putting too much weight and stock in how they look (lack of credibility) to be effective? Are they motivated to be judged for their appearance because they lack confidence in their skills? Or, are they using all available assets (brains AND beauty) to gain a wide audience and following for their message?

Beauty is Skin Deep

How we see ourselves often drives how we show up to others. If we feel that we look good, we tend to walk into a room with more confidence and positive energy.? This isn’t to say everyone should adhere to unrealistic standards of beauty but rather that we can find that beauty within ourselves and bring it forward in ways that make us feel better, where our external image matches our internal vision of how we wish to portray ourselves to the world.

Using Vanity to Our Advantage

The power of self-confidence is attractive. It draws people towards us. It repels negativity and illness. It helps us make a positive impact.

The focus should be here: On days when you feel at your worst — your hair isn’t cooperating, those extra five pounds seem to have decided to show, and your skin is less than “smooth and silky,” try smiling. Instead of shrinking behind potted plants as you move through the day, enter each room with excitement and enthusiasm. Greet every person you meet with energy, a positive attitude, and a smile. Show up as if you just got the greatest news you’ve ever received and you can’t contain your happiness.

Try exuding happiness and see if the response and reaction you get is more positive and upbeat than if you hid from others.

Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall

I do not think it’s insane to be vain, actually. I see vanity as a way we monitor and evaluate our personal sense of self-worth, confidence, and value. We might measure ourselves against the appearance of others (“Is my rear as big as hers?”), but that’s ok. We will always strive to see where we fit in the world. Sometimes, if our evaluation goes askew and our vanity takes over and takes us to an unhelpful place, we can fall back on the values and intention of our personal brand to realign our appearance with our desired reputation (Who are we? What do we value? How do we want others to feel about us?) and allow us to right-size our ego when necessary.

The focus should be here: When the insanity of vanity creeps in and you are tempted to hide from yourself by putting pressure on external things like unrealistic expectations of your appearance, give yourself a pep talk.

Sound simple? Yes.

Easy? Not at all.

Vanity is not a bad thing. Focus on appearance can certainly be taken to extremes, but paying attention to your looks and how you present yourself to others is not inherently negative. My advice is to keep moderation: Be mindful of the external presence you bring to the world, but find YOUR voice and YOUR style to make your appearance personal and consistent to you. Magazines and role models offer ideas, suggestions, and trends, but what is in your heart will be your greatest asset — internal and external.

Try this mantra:

I am enough. I am just where I am supposed to be. This is the one body I get in this lifetime, and it is exactly the way it should be right now. I can improve and always strive to be my best me, but for right now, I am perfect! When people know the real me, they love me and respect me. I am enough.

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What does it take to get ahead today?

Do you need a certain job title and wardrobe to be taken seriously?

No!

Join me as I share key insights and power moves to assert yourself confidently, clearly, and with compassion.

I'll be talking about how to build community, stay agile in your thinking and approach, and build up the confidence you need to get your voice heard – in a meeting or a movement.

Here's a sneak peek of what I'll cover:

• Embracing Your Realness: Discover the power of being real and how it can grow your influence.
• The Courage To Be Bold: Learn how to step out of your comfort zone and embrace risk with confidence.
• Making Lasting Impact: Uncover ways to ensure that your actions leave a meaningful imprint on others.

Get ready to be inspired and empowered to make your mark on the world!

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