Mirror, Mirror: The Unexpected Key to Confidence and Connection

I’ve fuddled my way through improv classes. I’ve sung my heart out with a singing coach. I’ve done movement work. I've both bombed and killed at stand-up comedy. I’ve trained my butt off.?

And for me, none of those experiences would mean jack if I hadn’t also done what’s called “mirror work.”?

More Than Just Lines: The Deeper Purpose of Mirror Work

If you’re an actor or a public speaker, and you practice your lines again and again in front of a mirror, eventually the lines disappear, and what remains is raw humanity and the connection to the person in the mirror—you. I know that’s New Agey, but let me unpack it for you.?

“Mirror work” can be thought of as a kind of self-reflection practice where you speak aloud while looking at yourself in a mirror. So why would someone do that? Well, like I hinted at, you might be practicing for an acting role or an important business presentation. But I actually don’t think that’s one of the main reasons why people do mirror—it’s because it fosters self-awareness, enhances emotional healing, and builds self-love.

From Self-Consciousness to Self-Acceptance

I’ve done a ton of mirror work. And it really opens me up to not only myself, but also to other people. When I do it, I often initially have thoughts such as:?

I'm a human. I’ve got tons of faults. I know there are things about me that annoy other people. I'm going to make mistakes.?

And then that negative self-chatter slowly but surely dissipates. And I become totally comfortable with myself.?

At that point—still looking at myself in the mirror, still practicing what I’m going to say to a client or a colleague-—I experience a sense of freedom where I can completely rely on my speaking, voice, and message. Just as importantly, when I’m actually in front of the person or people I’ve been preparing for, I can focus almost entirely on them.?

Transforming Anxiety into Leadership Power

I discussed the power of mirror work and self-acceptance in a recent episode of my podcast (links below). I was speaking with Scott Ramey, a confidence coach and former corporate executive who specializes in helping individuals own their voice and lead with authenticity.

Mirror work isn’t for everyone. If you don’t think it’d be your thing, but you’re still up for some techniques to build confidence and reduce anxiety in speaking with others, I highly recommend checking out my episode with Scott.

I’d like to thank Scott Ramey for being a guest on my podcast and for inspiring me to write this article. Learn more about Scott and The Ramey Group, and connect with Scott on LinkedIn.

Listen to episodes of Scaling Up Business with Bill Gallagher on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or ScalingCoach.com.

-Bill