Mirror, Mirror...

These days, most of the team development work I do with clients touches on the topic of how that team wants to lead those around them, be it an executive team leading a whole company or some senior team leading a function. Despite all the leadership models out there and the exercises and tools to help “build leadership skills,” I think I’ve concluded that almost all leadership advice boils down to a simple statement:

Model the behavior you want to see.

This is both an individual and a collective assignment. Because let’s face it: people in organizations will behave in the way they see their leaders behaving. There’s no “do as I say, not as a do” to it, leaders: people will do as you do. Like it or not the people who work with and for you are watching your every move, and they are listening to your every word.

If you want to build trust, share information and trust people to act in the best interests of their team or the company. Give the benefit of the doubt. If you want people to take risks, discuss mistakes you’ve made and the lessons you’ve learned from them, or celebrate the individuals’ boundary-pushing behaviors that have resulted in positive gains. If you want to emphasize meeting customer needs, go to them, or invite your stakeholders to your next all-hands and let them tell you what they like and dislike about working with you, or using your products or services. If you want feedback for change or improvement, ask for it, and approach feedback of all kinds with a gift-giving mindset.

The flip side of the coin is: What you permit you promote.

If you allow a person to shirk accountability once, you start to create a culture where deadlines and expectations don’t matter. If you let a windbag bloviate in a meeting, you send the message that efficiency, focus and productivity – not to mention thoughtful use of people’s time – aren’t important. You get the idea - I’m reasonably certain you’ve seen this play out in organizational life. But I digress.

To help teams look in the mirror, I ask them to discuss the questions: “What behaviors should you expect from one another, and should your team and stakeholders expect from you? And What are specific situations you often find yourselves in, and how do you want to act in those moments to articulate through example what is important to you?” These are specific, rich conversations for a team of leaders to have, and the resulting behaviors – again both individually and collectively – will show their team and others exactly what is important to them and how they want to lead.

Some of these chosen behaviors should probably be enduring: acting with integrity, or being open-minded to different points of view, come to mind - with their associated behaviors. Some can and should morph over time depending on circumstances. A team undergoing significant change might double down on demonstrating empathy through making time for 1:1 check ins. Leaders seeking growth in others might amplify their coaching or mentoring behaviors by asking questions and offering stretch assignments. And so on. These behavioral choices can be revisited as a team evolves, and as those behaviors are well baked into the team culture.

What is essential, in my view, is that the leadership behaviors you wish to model, individually and also as a leadership team, are carefully thought through and explicitly articulated – at least with yourself and other leaders, if not to your broader team. Look in the mirror at your own behaviors and words: that is what the people around you are seeing, and you set and reinforce those behaviors through each and every action you take and statement you make.

Think about it: What are the behaviors you’re modeling today, and what do you hope to achieve as a result?