Mirror-Mirror on the Wall
David M. Schneer, Ph.D./CEO/Author/Speaker
We help companies bring new products to market and hone their strategic communications through a unique combination of research, nonverbal intelligence, and AI.
Practical Applications for Nonverbal Intelligence and the Emotional Indicators and Benefits of Mirroring
4-Minute Read
ι??σο? πρα?ξι? These two words in Greek mean, literally, “same behavior”. Phonetically, it’s Isos Praxis and it is a critical part of nonverbal intelligence. Here’s why.
Mirror Neurons, Monkeys, and Babies
Found first in monkey brains, “Mirror neurons” are a special type of neuron that fire up when a person physically acts or when a person observes another person doing the same thing. [1]
If you have an infant child or grandchild, do this. Lean in and crack a big old smile. The baby’s mirror neurons will recognize your smile and the baby will mimic you. It happens the other way too, when a baby smiles at an adult who automatically smiles back. [2]
The Basics of Mirroring
Mirroring is a nonverbal way of building rapport, trust, and strengthening relationships. This is one of the reasons US Presidents invite dignitaries to Camp David, where they can stroll in unison among the peaceful grounds.
Walking is a wonderful way to mirror. You can see this in couples as they walk, or when they sit together, which looks like this:
When you meet someone for the first time, you can mirror their facial expressions, body positions, and even their tone of?voice. For example, if you are talking with someone and they suddenly cross their legs, you can do the same. Or, if suddenly the person with whom you’re talking leans in, so should you. Perhaps you’re talking with someone and they suddenly lower their voice. You should too. This is a nonverbal way of building rapport. And, of course, when you build rapport, you increase the chances of more effective communication.
If you are in a leadership position, the ability to mirror a subordinate shows empathy, a key character trait of effective leaders.
领英推荐
The Use of Mirroring in Research
During my interviews and even in focus groups I mirror with the respondents. This creates an atmosphere of psychological comfort and helps the respondent relax and speak their minds more effectively and candidly. However, it can backfire if I am too obvious, making me look insincere.
Learn to Mirror
You can learn to mirror too. At first, you can practice with someone you know preferably in front of a mirror (they tend not to lie).
Here are a few tips on how to mirror without appearing like a mocking mime.
Mirroring is one of the most important things you can do in a conversation. Learn to mirror and you will enhance your conversations and relationships with this technique.
?
[1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3510904/#:~:text=Mirror%20neurons%20represent%20a%20distinctive,first%20discovered%20in%20monkey%27s%20brain.
[2]???????????? Givens, David B.; White, John. The Routledge Dictionary of Nonverbal Communication. Taylor and Francis. Kindle Edition.
?
?
Expertise in nonverbal communication, influence and persuasion, de-escalation, relationship management, information analysis | Army veteran
1 年People like people who are like them. Mirroring help move that along.
Global Consultant in Business Continuity, Crisis Management, Security, Law Enforcement, & Situational Awareness | Victim Advocate | Public Speaker | Published Author
1 年David, we would use this technique during interrogations to get the suspect to relax and build that critical rapport you mention. In many ways, the subtleness of it is almost hypnotic and they would give us more information than we had even asked about.
We create video-based sales pages to build trust and close deals faster
1 年David, thanks for sharing. Do you have any insights on mirroring in an online meeting? I've got to think that it would be harder to accomplish, but that there may be some things we do unintentionally and/or may be more related to meeting norms?
?? ???????? ?????????????????? | Author | Book Coach | Author Specialist | Helping passionate professionals and entrepreneurs create authority, build thought leadership, and create community with their published book.
1 年I believe I have always done this, though not to the extent you describe here. I often thought it would annoy someone if I mirrored them too closely. What do you say, David M. Schneer, Ph.D./CEO?
We help companies bring new products to market and hone their strategic communications through a unique combination of research, nonverbal intelligence, and AI.
1 年Hi Leila. Mirroring is designed to make people more comfortable and even if they don’t look you in the eyes they still have a body posture. So you can mirror that. However, the more comfortable people become, the more likely they are to make eye contact. Still, eye contact is highly idiosyncratic and cultural. In some cultures, people are taught to look away from those in power or who are revered. You just have to take it on a case-by-case basis. I hope that answers your question.