Mirror, Mirror

If I had a theme for 2022, it probably would be, "Mirror, Mirror." Do you have a love-hate relationship with mirrors as I do? When walking by a storefront window, it's hard to resist stealing a glance at my reflection. Looking fit and fine!

On the flip side of the coin, seeing my tired morning face in the mirror is a harsh reminder that I am not getting any younger. And so it goes. We look to mirrors to give us a glimpse of truth about ourselves.

Mirror Moments

A Mirror Moment is when a person or situation has nudged me, uncomfortably, to examine my words and actions on a deeper level. Mirrors were held up to challenge my thinking and approach to life a number of times in 2023. "You might be wrong," is what the Mirror whispered to me in those moments.

"You might be wrong" is a hard pill to swallow.

Whether it came from my family, therapist, or coworkers, the Mirror Moments unfolded as difficult conversations, uncomfortable or surprising questions, or frustrating interactions. Mirror Moments almost always came out of nowhere but in reality, they were relevant signals nudging me toward change.

Unsurprisingly, I needed a mirror held up to me MANY times before I started to recognize the need for change. Why is that?

Changing one's mindset can be difficult for a number of reasons. It's easier to fake change than to do the hard work of real change. Here are three reasons why you might resist a mindset change:

1. Habits and patterns of thought: Our mindsets are often formed over time through our experiences and the patterns of thought that we have developed. Changing a mindset can be difficult because it requires breaking out of these established habits and patterns of thought.
2. Emotional attachment: Our mindsets can often be emotionally charged, and we may be attached to our point of view or perspective. Changing a mindset can be difficult because it can involve letting go of these emotional attachments.
3. Fear of the unknown: Changing a mindset can involve stepping out of our comfort zone and embracing the unknown. This can be difficult because it can involve facing our fears and insecurities.

3 Mindsets to Work On

The many Mirror Moments of 2022 pointed me to a couple of areas I needed to re-calibrate:

1. Either-Or vs. Both-And: The Either-Or mindset can touch the decision-making process in every facet of life: work, family, friends, or business. My instinct is to choose Option A and give up Option B. Or, choose Option C and see Option D as a less valuable possibility. I am learning now that this kind of thinking can shrink the pie of opportunity to a very small one! What if Options A-D were all equally valuable? Recognizing that in some situations, having a Both-And mentality can absolutely work. How liberating!
2. Abundance vs. Scarcity: Having an abundance mentality means believing that there are enough resources, opportunities, and successes to go around. Having a scarcity mentality means the opposite. I flip-flop between both of these mindsets. I might see a ton of opportunities but will simultaneously assume that there isn't a slice of the pie for me. This ultimately limits my ability to see all possibilities.
3. Prepare thoughtfully for a yes. Ready to accept a no: Idea generation is an everyday occurrence. I get easily excited about new initiatives, solution-finding, program improvements, and the like. All I need is a green light! Of course, timing and circumstance may not align with even the best of ideas. When this happens, it's disheartening to hear that initial "no." However, one does not have control over what lies behind the "no." I have to trust that opportunities will present themselves at the right time. Not necessarily my time.

This is not an end-all, be-all list of the parts of me I hope to improve. I'm ultimately grateful for having mirrors held up to me!

Reflect back on 2022 and recall if you have had any Mirror Moments. What did you see about yourself?