Mirror Mirror

“ If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans” - Orshi

A lecturer walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?” Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night.

Remember to put the glass down!

"Is the glass half empty or half full?" is a common expression, a proverbial phrase, generally used rhetorically to indicate that a particular situation could be a cause for optimism (half full) or pessimism (half empty), or as a general litmus test to simply determine an individual's worldview.

Meaning beyond the surface

Now in my lovely naive view of the world, I thought to myself this is brilliant, an actual example, with meaning beyond the surface. The main meaning behind the little story is to learn not to hold onto things that may bother us, regardless of their importance or even their size. It’s beautifully stated and in theory is a lovely idea.

Putting theory into practice

However, as with most things that are wonderful in theory, they’re not so simple to carry out in practice. For instance, you know how Lionel Messi manages to round every defender on the pitch before slotting another goal home. But, when you attempt this (more likely than not), it somehow ends up in you falling flat on your face before you have even made it to (let alone past) the first man.

I guess what I mean to say is that even talking to someone is not always so easy to do. However, what you will discover (at any age) is the difference in how you feel before and after you talk to someone about something that has been stressing you. Before talking to someone, you will feel all tongue-tied with nerves that give you pains in your stomach, like the world is going to end if it goes badly.

After you have taken that devastating leap and actually told someone that you have had a rubbish time, things have been crap and that stuff hasn’t been ‘going to plan’, you suddenly feel a whole lot lighter. It’s like finally getting that breath of air after you’ve been holding your breath underwater for too long.

Changing your perspective

It’s amazing how even just talking to another person can change how your perspective. I suppose the take-home message was not that this story tells you anything new, but that it allowed you to view your own issues and decide if they were burdensome enough that you could talk about it, which is always worth thinking about.

So what should you be? a Pessimist, Fatalist, Optimist, or a Realist

What is the difference between optimists, pessimists, and realists? Do you really know? No, it isn’t the start of a joke. Besides most people have come to believe that there are only optimists or pessimists and nothing more.

Instead, what I hope to accomplish is to define and clear up any misconceptions anyone may have by presenting these personality types.

Pessimist - A pessimist is often viewed as a negative person, but in reality this isn’t the case. Most people confuse pessimism with fatalism which is the root of this misconception. By definition a pessimistic person is usually a skeptic or doubter, someone who needs proof before they jump on board. Whenever they hear something new, they are the first to scrutinize it before they will accept it

Fatalist - A fatalist is someone who constantly spews out doom and gloom in just about every turn you take, no matter the situation. They are almost always at odds with something or someone (bone of contention) and are the hardest group of people to satisfy. Doomsday peppers tend to embody this group.

Optimist - Optimists are often touted as the best way to be and are usually shown to be well adjusted and happy. They tend to look on the more favorable side of life and events expecting the most favorable outcome. Their outlook hinges on idealism and often overlooks the basic nature of people.

Realist - A realist is someone who tends to view or present things as they really are at this moment in time. They normally don’t worry about what was (even though they are aware) and also don’t dwell on what could be. They work and live in the moment, what is currently at hand.

Now of course most people by nature are not purely one type or another. We are each peppered by some sort of mixture, an integration of types. However, we all seem to have a higher percentage toward one type than another which often leads us to believe that a person is either an optimist or pessimist and rarely consider anything else.

Now that you know more, what type are you? Opportunist

Ever heard that the joke that whilst the Optimist, Pessimist and Realist were busy arguing, the Opportunist drank that water.

So whilst you may not be an Optimist, Realist or an Opportunist, one thing for sure is you shouldn’t be a Pessimist. The opposite of a leader isn’t a follower. The opposite of a leader is a pessimist. A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties.

Pessimism is disastrous. It ruins hope and possibilities. If someone is pessimistic, he doesn’t hope for a better future neither do something to achieve it. The obstacles along the way seem enormous, and he doubts his ability to overcome them. At the end, he will just stay where he is, without making any progress. People can waste years, even their whole lives, because of pessimism.

Here are 6 ways to overcome pessimism and be an optimist:

1.    Find a cause you believe in

A cause from the depth of your heart has a burning flame that can overcome any pessimism. A superficial cause won’t last long, but a cause you believe in will give you the strength to overcome any obstacles. So find yours. Find a cause that matters to you, a cause you believe in.

2.    Focus on the possibilities, not the impossibilities

People become pessimistic when they focus their mind on the impossibilities. All they see is the enormity of the challenges ahead. That way, their mind is overwhelmed by the difficulties and they can no longer see themselves as the winners.

3.    Read inspiring stories

To help you focus on the possibilities, you should read inspiring stories of the people who have made it before you. It will inspire you since you know that other people can do it despite the challenges they face. Just like you, they also face enormous difficulties, but they persist and achieve their dream. So you can too.

4.    Be part of a team

It’s difficult to face everything alone. In fact, most people can never make it that way. You always need someone to lift you up when you fall. By having a team, their flame can ignite yours when you need it, and in turn, your flame can ignite theirs when they need it.

5.    Get rid of negative words

Nothing takes your optimism away faster than negative words. So get rid of them at all costs. Always see the positive side of things, and speak about hope and possibilities. I don’t know about you, but I believe that there is always positive side in everything we face. This doesn’t mean that you are denying the reality; you just look at it from a different angle.

6.    Open your mind for unexpected ways

One reason people becomes pessimist is they see all the possible ways in their mind closed. Since they can no longer see any open door, they become pessimistic. But things don’t have to go the way you want it for you to succeed. The solution can come in unpredicted ways that never occur to you before.

What better way to end this blog, but to remember this brilliant poem The Man in the Glass penned by Peter Dale Wimbrow

When you get what you want in your struggle for self

And the world makes you king for a day

Just go to the mirror and look at yourself

And see what that man has to say.

For it isn’t your father, or mother, or wife 

Whose judgment upon you must pass

The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life

Is the one staring back from the glass.

He’s the fellow to please - never mind all the rest

For he’s with you, clear to the end

And you’ve passed your most difficult, dangerous test

If the man in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years

And get pats on the back as you pass

But your final reward will be heartache and tears

If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.

The above means you can fool some people sometimes, you can fool some people all the time, but you can never fool your own self (man in the glass).

They say, “don't settle for a half empty glass, always go for a full one!”. Glass half full or half empty, hope can fill it up. Either way you won't be going thirsty, count your blessings not your flaws.

Look into the mirror. Indulge in your glass. Whether your glass is half-full or half-empty, remind yourself there are others without one.