The Miraculous Power of Giving During a Tumultuous Season

It's officially been a month since moving to New York City... still processing the decision to leave Los Angeles, the city of Angels that I have learned so much from, the city that instilled a confidence and self-love within myself that I don't think I would have ever learned if I was still living in New York. Getting laid off 6 months from EBONY Magazine and currently in a class-action lawsuit with the company that owes me nearly $8,000.00 in wages and another several thousand dollars in late penalties and grievances for the experience I have been put through. I have been living off unemployment & food stamps since August and as "humble" as I have been living through this experience, I can't help but to thank God for this difficult chapter. I have rested, I have reconnected with loved ones and lost one, I have found peace in the solitude, I have made several revelations that God & the universe was trying to show me that the reality that I thought I was thriving in, wasn't meant for me, long term to say the least.

Fast forward to the present, I left LA because I wasn't supported for the decisions I made in coming forward about what EBONY did, I was threatened by the leadership told that "I should tread softly because the circles in Hollywood run small," I showed no fear and came forward with my story to numerous publications and revealed the TRUTH that so many wanted to hide. The result. 30 interviews in Hollywood over 5 months, since June 7, 2019, the day my entire team was laid off. Prominent companies ignored my emails, phone calls, many people I have built relationships within the circles of Hollywood all gave their apologies and basically said "good luck with everything you will figure it out." Most by my own people in the industry, African Americans, who time and time again said reach out if you need anything...

"My heart broke, the love of my life, my career let me down for the first time ever, and I lost myself."

New York City welcomed me back with open arms. Why? I stopped editing myself, I stopped hiding my scars and revealed so much of myself to many leaders, recruiters, and black creatives in the same space as me. The result. Miraculous. I am now being interviewed by several brands that I would be honored to work with, starting my own business with a gifted photographer and joining professional groups of black male creatives like 100 Roses from Concrete. I am building a tribe of self-aware black professionals, finding black male mentors in this space and remaining authentic through every interaction so that I always have no doubt that said person(s) are in my life for a specific reason.

"On this day November 14, 2019, I am learning the power of patience and giving."

The power of patience from my lord & savior is teaching me that I have done everything I could possibly do to show these companies I am everything and then some for these Social Media Director/Social Media Strategist roles that I am waiting to hear back from. I MUST understand that I am on GODs time at all times. I have to give my entire being into faith because that is all I have left. Even with my checking account growing in the negatives & the overdraft fees continuing to pile up I have to find gratitude in knowing that GOD still provides me with unemployment and food stamps from California, even as I wait for these offers to come in during Quarter 4, THE WORST time to try and secure employment. Nothing and I do mean nothing takes place on our own timeline & if it ever does we have to understand that it isn't going to last long because it isn't by the will of God.

The power of giving from my lord & savior is teaching me that if I truly allow peace to enter my heart, if I really give it all to my father than I shouldn't have to worry. Why, do you ask? Worrying means I don't trust in my father, Worrying means I don't have the faith that I claim so proudly. So I woke up this morning with $(-258.00) in my checking account, I woke up this morning with $183.00 in unemployment account, I shook in fear, I shook in disbelief because how could everything still be so uncomfortable when I am so close to my destiny. The trials & troubles are intensifying so that can only mean my miracle is right around the corner, so I did what I always do, I gave it all to God, got on my knees and prayed for an hour and gave gratitude to all the incredible things that have happened in my life in this last month. I found peace & heard God say "find peace in giving to those that seek me, Joshua, you know what you must do." I walked out into the brisk morning cold in Brownsville, Brooklyn & bought my monthly metro card for $128.00 to get me through the next month with my unemployment card. I gave thanks to my god for AGAIN providing for me through this season of sacrifice. I went to the ATM and took out the last $40.00 I had to my name and did what many wouldn't do, I allowed my faith to walk in front of me and gave out 4 $10.00 bills to multiple strangers that walked through the streets of Brownsville with these simple words, "you are loved, be blessed" and gave them a hug.

1. A young girl who looked at me with disbelief and said thank you.
2. An elder man sitting next to a corner store, who gave me the warmest smile and said "God bless you, young man, thank you"
3. A homeless woman who said, "I can feed the kids tonight, I didn't know what I was going to do but thank you."
4. An elder woman who said "young man, why," I responded "because you're loved," she hugged me and said "thank you"

"As I walked home back to my airBNB I realized tears of joy streamed down my face, I felt the immense power of love warm my spirit & in that moment fear and doubt faded"

I say all of this, not for sympathy, not for a gold star but for a breakthrough. I share this powerful testimony with my LinkedIn circle so we can all realize myself included the immense power of sharing our truth being vulnerable during times of joy and despair. I hope this story touches so many people in my network, I hope this inspires everyone that even as I sit here with empty accounts that my heart is full, that I look towards the future with excitement because my GOD is going to cause a radical change in my life and make all the hurt and pain I have been through these last six months go away with his heavy blessing that is going to change my life, forever and ever.

Thank you