* Minority *

A minority group, by its original definition, refers to a group of people whose practices; race, religion, ethnicity, or other characteristics are lesser in numbers than the main groups of those classifications. In brief, the smaller number or part, especially a number or part representing less than half of the whole.

I can understand, what comes in your after reading the headline… May be I am wrong but requesting you not to assume anything (If you are assuming) before reading this completely. Yes, because I am not talking about minority based on religion, color or gender. It is minority within the group based on belief, ideology. when you question the rat race/ social norms, where you are among them (same gender, community, society, nation) but you stand out. You find it hard being among them. Where you feel comfortable in diversity & that too effortlessly but feel uncomfortable among similar folks sometimes.because you don’t try to fit in their boxes or your thought process/ ideology doesn’t match with them.

I am a Human being by birth but yes as segregated by society, I belongs female gender category, Muslim Community, Indian that too bihari (underdeveloped state of India). but I never felt minority among working with people with different nation & religion. But yes, I feel minority few time among women/ girls. Hard to believe because technically I belong to that box. And I feel minority on mindset/ thought process ground/ acceptance ground. I am writing this blog for those who feels similar & question themselves. End up being less social/ anti- social & choose not to engage/ indulge in small talks. Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely normal person with simple living & high thinking attitude, Live & let live practices.

Few year ago, I met a corporate trainer... an Indian women having multicultural exposure, one who travels around the world. I feel proud by seeing women flying high which is still not that common from where I came, although women are breaking the barrier nowadays, I can silently understands. They came this far, it must be not that easy. There must be extra struggle etc. Fortunately one day, we shared same table to have our lunch & talk a bit, I thought I am an ambitious person & she is an extra achiever, we will have an extra ordinary Conversation. But soon, I was disappointed because of her questions were leading towards small talks. And I was hugely disappointed by seeing this Intelligent women & a high profile gentleman sitting beside her who was on top in his corporate ladder & there choice of topic to talk/ get engage.

I was wondering, why they are bringing this topic, in which I’m not feeling connectivity. Then I realize, mostly people get connected if you talk in their language, talk about their region, religious etc. They are easily approachable based on the region, religion, languages (this what I learned by observing people both in personal & professional life). But I wanted to tell them, I look Naive, although I am but not that much. They are a lot to connect with, to talk about. If you think, you will bring few topic/question from my region or religion & I will found you interesting in me.. Sorry, You are dealing with a wrong person/ Indian. I like to talk about Aim, ambitious, goals, objectives, ethics, morale, values, your journey, my journey etc. I am proud of from where I am or what I am but I am not bounded to it. I left myself free as bird to choose my own belonging & explore the world. Pick the good things from everywhere I go.. including my own culture & traditions. I want to be a world citizen. So don’t try to fix me in a box ??. I know the thin line between personal & professional talks, & Small talks doesn’t excite me. So, If I am here, sharing the same table, there must be a vision, a reason, goal. Nothing happens by accident. 

Moral of the story- Even professionals are judgmental, they talk about diversity & Inclusion but very few believes & practice that. They too are scared to go out of their comfort zone. That’s why they seem out of comfort zone, but actually not. They surround themselves with people based on color, region, religion… not on the basis of Goals, mindsets, passion, caliber or capabilities. Secular & open minded people does't bring an awkward small talk on table. I’m more than my personal identity. It's tells about you that how you see me..

A) A single Muslim young girl from underdeveloped region, working for bread & butter

B) An ambitious young lady with diverse work experiences & Industrial exposure, adaptable & focused on her goals. One who believes in daring, dreaming, exploring, & achieving.

So, I don’t mind, if you address my personal identity but request you to shift your focus, and See me as Modern, Educated, Career Oriented person. If putting me in a box will satisfy you… above 3 box are enough. Rest is personal & it’s not going to harm you anyway.

Career oriented women are still not fully accepted. In small town & under developed community - It is still a matter of shame/ guilt. people find it hard to accept the fact that women exist who think beyond kitchen walls, who wants to pay her all bills on her own, who know, she is equally capable of being independent & taking responsibilities of family on her shoulders. It should be celebrated actually. I strongly feel when someone walks on less walked path, know the purpose of their life, do self-introspection, they know how to rise again & contribute equally in Societal development.

"I wish people were as excited & supportive about women's career milestones, personal development and travel journey as they were about pregnancies & engagements." - Unknown

?There is difference between job & Career…and yes, it is hobby for few girls. But it is not always a hobby for a girl. It can be dream, passion, driving force & many more. Few choose to do it with some aim, objectives, dreams & passion. It's completely a personal choice. I want to invest where I feel it's worth & It's OK & absolutely normal from my lenses & few with progressive/ similar mindset people. Ladies who avoid to bring home/ domestic chit chat at work place, they are absolutely normal human being & totally corporate fit, much appreciated by male colleagues. But at the other hand, few women colleague give them a mysterious look, make them feel less family lady although she must be family oriented & know very well how to keep personal & professional equation separate.

So, dear women Folks, please keep your kitchen politics at home.. this is corporate.. if you have this opportunity, utilize it maximum for your own betterment. Grow & let others grow, don’t be insecure. If you want to play, play big or be a game changer. Uplifting each other in spite of criticizing.. that’s the real women’s empowerment. Don’t wait for anyone to empower you. It’s in your hand, you make homes, you contribute in flourishing the nature by adding values, bringing future talents etc. you are born to do big/ complicated task, then why think small. We feel completely comfortable in male dominating sector but we don’t feel comfortable with you because of your uncomfortable personal questions. I don't feel its important to discuss..how much salt I put in food while cooking @ home or what's my life plan.

What I observed in men, they respect each other.. they support each other even in worst & even with the worst characteristics. All men are not gentlemen, few of them behave like jerk but once they read your attitude, at least they acts as gentlemen, behave properly, respect the boundaries set by you. After travelling extra miles.. when we met a women, we expect… this is not a typical Indian Aunty/ Bua or Masi.. but after sometime… you reminds a hilarious dialogue of a popular Hindi movie (Tanu weds Manu Returns) - Dialogue: Unki baton me or Rampur wali Bua ki baton me koi farq nahi hai ". In English" there is no difference between them & my paternal aunty who lives in a rural area/ village :(

So, don’t just be a working woman, be a Gentle woman, that will make a difference in Revamping the society. This will be your silent contributions towards women empowerment!

Trust me, it will be a great fun & full of joy. I have been fortunate enough to be surrounded by such women. Let your positive vibes/ sparks lighten the surroundings. let flourish with each other & the organisation. Makes the Work Culture/ place Vibrant. I have met with few Rampur wali bua types (apology for using this term) but I hope, someday they will change their perspective towards today's young, career oriented girls, and we will be no more divided. They constantly try to put you down, will not treat you as an adult- you can't help them, its lack of management & leadership skills. But few things I did to avoid them & tell them seniority doesn't work always & its only makes culture/ environment toxic.

sharing few tips:

• Focused on my own aim and Objectives & ignored their shit.
• I used headphones to avoid their personal/ unnecessary questions or small talks while sharing same table during breaks. Because I wanted to tell them I don't bring my home @workplace.
• Skipped joining them for meal/ lunch because It was disturbing my mindful eating ritual/ habit.
• Avoiding is better then confronting but not in long run, when you feel.. it's enough- highlight the issue, talk to your management. If management is biased, leave the table with grace. world is big my darling, no need to compromise your self respect.
• When you are experimenting with your looks or trying something new- they are ready to scan you & give you nasty look. Tell them, You have good dressing sense & they can compliment in-spite making you uncomfortable. Although you do it for yourself not to impress anyone.

Note: This Article is written by keeping "8th March- International Women's Day in Mind. A secret message to all the women Folks.