Ministry of Clarity with Tieriayooluwa – “Like a muddied spring or a polluted well are the righteous who give way to the wicked.”

Text: Proverbs 25:26 – “Like a muddied spring or a polluted well are the righteous who give way to the wicked.”

In our home, discipline is not a set of rules imposed on a child; it is recognition and affirmation of the child’s personhood, a culture deeply rooted in example and nurtured through communication. From the moment Tieriayooluwa was in the womb, I began having conversations with him. These were not idle words but declarations, affirmations of what I believed to be God's plans for his life, spoken into his existence because I recognized him as a person from the very beginning.

When he was born, the declarations evolved into instructions, still founded on the understanding that his hearing and absorbing would precede his ability to respond. Personhood begins long before a child can articulate words or demonstrate understanding. It begins with their existence, their capacity to feel, to hear, to be shaped by their environment. A child learns the language of their world through exposure, not formal teaching. Similarly, values and discipline must be communicated early, affirming their inherent dignity and worth. Waiting for a child to "understand" may mean missing crucial formative opportunities.

Research shows that children hear and absorb information from the womb, shaping their development long before they can speak. This underscores the responsibility we carry as primary and secondary parents to treat our precious children as full persons from the start, not as beings who will “become” people someday, but as individuals who already possess the capacity for growth, understanding, and expression. Childhood is the foundation of adulthood, and every moment matters.

Recently, I used a real-life event to teach Tieriayooluwa about the dignity inherent in every person and the role discipline plays in preserving it. The context was a high-profile case in Nigeria, where a lawmaker was accused of dehumanizing a cab driver. After widespread outrage, the lawmaker apologized. However, shortly after, another video emerged showing the cab driver apologizing to the same person who had violated his dignity.

This incident sparked a public debate. Many attributed the cab driver's actions to poverty, but I believe it highlighted a deeper issue: the poverty of the mind, the poverty of understanding one’s intrinsic dignity. This lack of understanding often stems from how individuals are introduced to themselves as children.

Personhood means recognizing the intrinsic worth of every individual, no matter how small or young. It means introducing our children to themselves as persons of value, with the ability to think, choose, and act meaningfully in their world. Reflecting on this, I shared with Tieriayooluwa a foundational lesson: discipline is not about punishment but about preserving and nurturing dignity.

I referenced a principle from my book, Transforming Child Discipline into the Culture of Discipline: "The purpose of discipline is to protect the dignity of our precious children, to help them become conscious of their worth as human beings in both private and public interactions, and to empower them to always defend that dignity before everyone, regardless of their position in life."

True discipline acknowledges the child as a full person, an individual with thoughts, feelings, and the capacity for growth. It equips them to recognize and reject tyranny, empowering them to stand firm in their dignity. As Adebayo Williams said, “To accept an act of tyranny is an act of intellectual self-dispossession.” This foundation of discipline is essential to raising children who understand their worth and act in ways that uphold both their own dignity and the dignity of others.

Discipline is not about yelling, punitive measures, or imposing fear. Instead, it is a process of modeling, teaching, and guiding, showing by example what it means to live with integrity and purpose. It is about engaging the child in meaningful conversations and imparting values that prepare them for life.

Let us strive to raise individuals who uphold dignity and integrity, beginning with our recognition of their personhood and our willingness to engage them as equals in the journey of life.