Constant Contrarians

Contrarians. It’s a brand of person I do not find valuable. The one who dissents so predictably, that it’s almost comical. Doesn’t matter the topic—they advocate for the opposite. They even oppose the most trivial things, which helps me spot them quickly.

I’ve come to wonder if perhaps contrarians are intellectually bored with the conversation, so they like to subconsciously spice things up. Perhaps they were raised to challenge everything they’re told. Or maybe their experience with a former leader (or even me) makes them believe the leader’s not competent, so they must, to save the world, stop the momentum.

I think it’s more an ingrained personality trait, a pattern they don’t see in themselves that long ago stopped adding value. Instead, it’s a time-waster and distraction. Not to mention, a real career deterrent for them.

I increasingly don’t value contrarian personalities. Before you school me on challenging groupthink, best idea wins, etc…I get that. This is different.

I value dissent. I am known as a dissenter in executive-level discussions; on our executive team, I am often an outlier on many issues (I sometimes refer to myself as the lone Jewish cardinal at the Vatican). I have zero fear sharing my opinion with the CEO and the executive team on topics that I’m passionate about. BUT—I choose my battles carefully. Our CEO (any CEO) will value my position less if I have a strong one on every topic. I came to learn this the hard way…welcome to my life.

Some of the best career coaching I’ve ever received was from our chairman and CEO, Bob Whitman. His feedback style is less overt and more what I call “telepathic.” He really wants his leaders to rise to the occasion, so he carefully models what he values and prefers not to call out every annoyance. That’s not to say he avoids confrontation; he just prefers harmony, unlike some leaders who thrive on chaos (one comes to mind quickly). Thus Bob doesn’t give me much verbal feedback, so when he does, I listen intently. 

About eight years ago, after showing me patience I’d long since stopped deserving, he gently, but directly, told me, “Scott, you make too many declarative statements.” That was it. No additional context. I didn’t need any—the feedback was hard to misinterpret.

In fact, another senior leader told me a year before that, in a fit of frustration, “Scott, you have an opinion on everything—do you ever just shut up?” Ouch. I was offended, angry, hurt even. (Today we are quite close and even co-authoring a book for FranklinCovey together.)

She was right. Bob was right. I had become a contrarian.

As I’ve matured, I have become more deliberate about sharing my opinions. Only when I passionately believe, based on my own experience, that the current direction or decision is off-course do I weigh in…and even then, sometimes I hold back. To be clear, I am willing to go to the mat for my point of view and am very comfortable being the only one with that position. It’s lonely, let me tell you. And I win some and lose some.

But being the contrarian is not my brand anymore. It’s too fatiguing. I’ve become comfortable “taking a pass” when I don’t have a valuable point of view to share. I can also line up behind someone else’s stance when they make a compelling argument based on data or experience.

I’ve learned to pick my battles more carefully and not always be the dissenter or contrarian.

So what’s your ratio? Draw a simple pie chart on a page, and over your next few meetings, ask: what percentage do you find yourself challenging? Supporting? Asking unbiased questions? Making statements?

Or just shutting up?

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Here are links to some of my previous articles:

Super Career Advice From A Potato Farmer

Just Own It: Excuse Free Apologies

Forget Eye Contact, It's All About The Lips

What I Learned From Stephen R. Covey