A Mini, a garden, and kissing my cute arse...
Bryce Main
Multi-genre author, mostly Crime fiction. Scottish. Been writing longer than I’ve been wearing big boy’s trousers.
We have a back garden.?
It’s so small I’ve known postage stamps that were bigger.
If it was human, it would have an inferiority complex.
If it was a car, it would be an original, British Leyland Mini.?
Not the stylish kind driven by Michael Cain in the movie The Italian Job.
Not the iconic Oxford Diecast kind (in black) which I always wanted but never got.?
More like the British Leyland kind wrapped around the politician Dennis Healey during the sixties.
He looked too big…it looked too small.?
He had large eyebrows, a large waistband, and the middle name Winston. He was named after that other portly gent Churchill.
Anyway…back to our back garden.?
The one good thing that could be said about it is that it’s low maintenance.?
It’s mostly lawned, with a small hedge and a few bushes sprinkled here and there around the edge.?
It has no illusions of grandeur.?
It reminds me of the words and pictures that come together to make up the best advertisements.
They know exactly what they want to say and exactly what they want to show. And they contain the minimum ingredients for the maximum effect.??
Nothing’s wasted. Nothing’s left out. Everything’s left in.?
A lot like our back garden.?
Sometimes, in idle moments, when the summer sun’s out and silence is the only noise worth listening to, I stretch out on my postage stamp lawn and wish it was a bit more like Dennis.?
Larger…
Then I remember how much I enjoyed reading, looking at, and listen to, the ads that really gave me so much pleasure and enjoyment down the years.
How good the copy was.?
How much satisfaction the images gave me.?
And how appropriate the following five words have meant to me throughout my life.?
“Quantity isn’t everything. Quality is.”
And anyone who says any different can kiss my cute arse on both damned cheeks…
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You've just read an extract from my unfinished book of urban essays Ad Astra.
All my published books are available separately from those nice people at Amazon…right here.
(Urban Essays):
Ad Interruptus:?https://amzn.to/3AmkfjQ
Ad Infinitum:?https://amzn.to/3pof7Uq
Ad Lib: https://amzn.to/2kd4LKf.
Ad Hoc:?https://amzn.to/2Nx8GL8
(Urban Romance)
Love & Coffee:?https://amzn.to/28IWaHq
(Humorous Science Fantasy)
Heaven Help Us:?https://amzn.to/2nkQ1Jk
Or…you can pop along to my new website at brycemain.co.uk and have a sneaky peek at them all together in the one place.
And choose one for 2023...
Manager Graphics Design and Production
1 年So you have a postage stamp size garden. Sounds like the perfect place to settle in with a good book and a fine sipping beverage. I have a garden that grows nothing because the damn iguanas is constantly chewing it up. Nice read thou, cant wait the read it all Bryce.