The Mindset Shift That Changed Everything for Me

Last year, I came across this fable that had a big impact on me:

There was once a farmer who had a horse and a son.

One day, his horse ran away. The neighbors expressed their concern: “Oh, that’s too bad. How are you going to work the fields now?” The farmer replied: “Good thing, bad thing, who knows?”

In a few days, his horse came back and brought another horse with her. Now, the neighbors were glad: “Oh, how lucky! Now you can do twice as much work!” The farmer replied: “Good thing, bad thing, who knows?”

The next day, his son fell off the new horse and broke his leg. The neighbors were concerned again: “Now he can’t help you around. That’s too bad.” The farmer replied: “Good thing, bad thing, who knows?”?

Soon, the news came that a war broke out, and the young men were required to join the army. The farmer’s son could not be drafted because of his broken leg. His neighbors were envious: “How lucky! You get to keep your only son.” The farmer replied: “Good thing, bad thing, who knows?”

The moral of the story? We can’t attach “good” or “bad” to anything—because we can’t see the future. The only thing we know is the here and now.

As a business leader, this lesson is especially important. You may have huge wins that you think are absolutely fabulous that actually lead you in the wrong strategic direction. And, on the contrary, you may have losses that you think will cripple you and they actually can lead to light-bulb moments or changes in your business that you never thought were possible. By not attaching value to any one tactical thing (or any person) that happens in your business, and removing attachments, you allow yourself to be open to the possibilities of what your business can actually be.

For example, I once won a huge contract with a major corporation, and several divisions within the corporation as well. I was so excited. It was a huge moment for the business and a huge growth opportunity. However, I ended up devoting so many of my resources to servicing that business and its divisions that my other clients started to drop off—and all of a sudden, I was left with a client concentration problem. Ultimately, something that I thought was so amazing ended up causing a big challenge that I had to rebuild from.?

As another example, I had an incredible employee who ran our account team. She left unexpectedly—and I was certain the company would fall apart. I tried desperately to keep her. But after she left, I reimagined the company and the leadership team. I made it stronger than ever before and less dependent on one person. Had she not left, that never would have happened.

At risk of sounding a bit “woo woo,” it’s absolutely crucial to allow yourself to trust in the universe. Entrepreneurs generally want to control everything, but removing attachments and taking a “good thing, bad thing, who knows?” approach forces you to let go of some control. Of course, you need to remain focused on the vision at hand, but know that any control you feel is nothing more than a semblance.

It will all work out the way it’s supposed to, and there’s so much comfort in that if you allow yourself to really believe it. I truly have surrendered all semblance of control, for better or worse, and I am infinitely happier for it.