Mindset & performance: failure is not final

With the new year fast approaching, it is always seen as a time for reflection. Being no different in that regard, I thought I would reflect on some of the key areas I have been working on in my life/career over the past 12 months.

If only one person reads this and finds it useful that would be great, if not it is a chance for me to think and write down my reflections!

This is the first of three blogs I have planned, specifically around mindset and performance.

The first topic I want to reflect on is failure.

For those that don’t me, prior to my career in payments I was a professional footballer for Brighton and Hove Albion. Joining the youth team at 11, and having to retire at 21 due to injuries… (I am pretty sure I would have made it without the injuries! ??)

From as early as I could remember, all I wanted to be was a professional footballer. I lived it, breathed it, and everything I did was in the direction of making it. I signed professional forms at 16, captained the youth team, captained the reserve team, and played against and with some well-known players like Danny Welbeck and Lewis Dunk. My ‘potential’ was always recognised, and I was on the path to succeeding in my career and against my objectives.

However injuries struck, 3 ACL reconstructions later, and about 50% of cartilage left in both knees I was told if I carried on I would run the risk of arthritis at a young age, and possible knee replacements before the age of 30.

So I retired.

Now for many years, I saw this and me as a complete and utter failure. I didn’t have a career in football, I didn’t make it to the premier league, I never reached my ‘potential’. It impacted my self-confidence, drive and I felt like I had lost my purpose.

However I don’t now see this as a failure, but as a fantastic experience that I was truly lucky to have, and see my success in my life and career down to some of the behaviours I engrained at a young age.

If you asked your colleagues what characteristics they admire or hire for I am sure you would hear;

Leadership, drive, motivation, desire, passion, teamwork, goal-orientated as some key traits of any successful individual.

Well this is what I had as a professional footballer, and it transitioned perfectly into the world of business.

Seems simple to highlight right? But why did it take me so many years to come to this conclusion and change the narrative on my football career?

The only thing I can point to for sure is my mindset.

Spending hours and hours working on my mindset, reading, learning, reflecting has helped me to realise that failure is just a narrative that is created in your mind. And only YOU have the opportunity to change that narrative.

Engraining myself in the topics of NLP and CBT I was able to change that narrative and learn from my perceived failures in order to grow and recreate myself.

For those that don’t know NLP is an approach to communication and personal development that focuses on how individuals organise their thinking, feelings and language. From a CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) perspective it is often seen as Thoughts, that lead to Emotions, that lead to Behaviours that result in Outcomes.

?Everything starts with thought. And changing the narrative on thought, will no doubt lead to greater success and outcomes in business and in life.

?As an example;

?You could have pitched for that new business contract, spent hours planning, preparing, and creating the best pitch possible. But you don’t win it.

?Is this a failure? Do you get downtrodden and de-motivated, lose self-confidence and question your ability?

?Or can you change the thought process and see it as an opportunity to learn? Spend time understanding what went wrong, discuss it with colleagues, and ensure next time you incorporate those learnings, and do it better next time.

?There are many fantastic readings around mindset, books like Growth Mindset by Carol Dweck, or one of my new favourites ‘The Stupid Footballer is Dead’ by Paul McVeigh, M.Sc. (who also happens to be a an ex-footballer turned business mentor and executive coach).

?I’d encourage you not to think of Failure as final, but as an opportunity to learn and grow. Change the thought process, and you will see greater outcomes. Trust me.