Paradox Mindset: Strategies For Turning Your Weaknesses Into Strengths
Welcome to this newsletter!
Have you ever thought about how your flaws could be slowing you down?
Are you wondering how to boost your performance by working on your weaknesses??
Can you — for a minute — imagine if the “dark side” of your personality could be the reason for your success, not the cause of your failures?
This newsletter will shed light on all these questions.
Why are such questions relevant in the first place?
The literature is rich in advice on focusing on our strengths to create an unfair advantage and succeed professionally.
However, by doing so, we neglect a considerable part of us by ignoring our weaknesses.
They can be a critical component of our success when combined with our strengths.
You will learn so by adopting a “both-and” paradoxical mindset instead of an “either-or” conventional thinking.
This will enhance your individuality as you start accepting and treating your weaknesses as strengths.
As a result, you will radiate authenticity, boost your confidence and get better at filtering criticism that is not helping you.
In the following sections, you will find out how.
ATTENTION: perfectionists and conformists will disdain this newsletter!
The Two Faces of Winston Churchill
Churchill, an undisputed dominant British figure from the 20th century, once said, “Hitler-ism and all it stands for will, sooner or later, have to be grappled with and finally crushed. It is no use trying to satisfy a tiger by feeding it on cat’s meat.”
In fact, Churchill was not talking about Hitler… but Gandhi for starting his peaceful Indian resistance campaign against Britain.
Churchill is also known for his infamous saying — “I hate Indians. They are beastly people with a beastly religion.”
Churchill even presided over 1943’s hideous famine in Bengal that perished 3 million Indians.
The same Churchill who?lost the British elections to the Labour party less than three months after V-day in WW2, following a series of blunt political speeches detached from the reality of a future peaceful era.
But it was also Churchill who, many years before Nazis started invading Europe, raised his deep concerns that Hitler was a villain that could not be negotiated.
That was at a time when British politicians wanted to adopt a rather diplomatic approach to Hitler.
Against everyone, Churchill feared that inaction would lead to an enormous calamity.
Churchill’s unconventional approach during his political career can be traced to his childhood.
Although raised in an aristocratic family, he had a challenging childhood tarnished with disappointments and underachievement.
He did poorly academically and regularly misbehaved.
Teachers reported several flaws in Churchill, including forgetfulness, carelessness and a lack of punctuality.
Such carelessness carried over in his later life, with numerous political failures and obsession with lost causes that would end any chances of political success.
But this same obsession for lost causes made Churchill recognise the dangers of Nazism ten years earlier than anyone else.
It was this stubbornness that led to Churchill becoming the U.K. Prime Minister and winning the war against Hitler.
From hindsight, we can better appreciate how Churchill turned his flaws into unique strengths when the world needed a leader to combat Nazism.
When every possible venue for negotiation failed, Churchill was the wild card that made the difference.
The moral of Churchill’s story is that you can turn your flaws into strengths depending on the context and timing.
Lesson #1
Churchill had the gift to be stubborn and fight relentlessly for his beliefs — that same stubbornness was perceived as a weakness during the times of peace but a unique strength during the times of war.
It is, therefore, not wise to categorise certain personality traits in a person as absolute strengths or weaknesses.
Such categorisation is somewhat dictated by an “either-or” conventional thinking instead of a “both-and” paradoxical thinking.
Instead, you must determine such traits as a weakness or strength based on the context and timing.
Flaws are not absolute; they are relative.
And you need a paradoxical mindset with a multicolour perspective of “both-and” instead of an “either-or” conventional mindset.
“Difficulties mastered are opportunities won.” —Winston Churchill.
Churchill’s image as an intolerable and noisy personality with an appalling view of India tarnished his credibility and led everyone to ignore his early warnings about Hitler.
And although he was wrong about Gandhi, he was right about Hitler.
That proves you must not totally ignore or discard someone’s views because they are not conformists or made the wrong decisions in the past.
Someone may be wrong/weak in one context but right/strong in another.
“So long as I am acting from duty and conviction, I am indifferent to taunts and jeers. I think they will probably do me more good than harm.” —Winston Churchill.
Too often, we are told to work with our strengths and hide our weaknesses.?
But that is not how authentic and charismatic leaders succeed.
Understand: your flaws can be circumstantial — adapted in the proper context, they can become unique strengths.
Don’t believe a broken vase is just a broken vase.
Leaps of brilliance start by holding two apparently contradictory ideas.?
How?
The Legend of Kintsugi
Kintsugi is a Japanese word where Kin means gold and Tsugi means joint.?
The word comes from a Japanese legend about a mighty warrior who had his favourite tea bowl broken and asked to be repaired.
However, he was highly disappointed when he received the repaired piece — it was full of ugly metal staples as if repaired by an amateur.
Even though he could use the bowl, it wasn’t aesthetically pleasant anymore.
This has infuriated the warrior, and he asked the craftsman to devise a more elegant solution and restore the bowl’s former beauty.
Realising the seriousness of the situation, the craftsman devised a solution to join the cracks with a mixture of lacquer resin and gold.
The warrior loved it!?
The streaks of gold within the cracks added to the value and beauty of the bowl.?
The legend of Kintsugi was born.
Kintsugi has become more than a method of repairing broken bowls.
It turned into a Japanese philosophy on how we can deal with our own imperfections.
A philosophy that implies an object’s value is not in its beauty but the imperfections — and one must celebrate such imperfections instead of hiding them.
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Conventional thinking will look at a broken vase as a broken vase.
A more creative and empowering way to see it is an opportunity to create something unique and beautiful!
And that thinking can equally apply to our lives when looking into our flaws and setbacks.
As you start adopting this new mindset, ask yourself again: “How can I turn my weaknesses into strengths?”
Lesson #2
Life is full of paradoxes.
Your weaknesses can be your strengths, and your strengths can be your weaknesses.?
It is all about adopting a paradoxical mindset where you can reconcile your strengths and weaknesses and leap into your growth and success.?
The philosophy of Kintsugi allows you to harden your setbacks and shortcomings, turning them into something empowering and beautiful.
“Remember: Up until now, you have survived 100 percent of your worst experiences.” —Celine Santini
Think of Kintsugi as an art of self-awareness that invites you to transcend your hardships and transform into a brand new, more assertive person.
This allows you to rediscover your true self while adding more beauty and perfection to your personality and characteristics — becoming a more unique and genuine version of yourself.
Both stories of Winston Churchill and Kintsugi point in the same direction — instead of trying to hide your flaws, recognise them and make them empowering tools of creativity & authenticity.?
Understand: In the same way that we learn to run and jump, read and write, eat and dress, we should learn to identify and manage our flaws and setbacks — because how we deal with them conditions our fulfilment.
Examples are not only in politics or art but also in high-performance sports.
Michael Johnson’s High-Performance Paradox
Michael Johnson was a 1996 U.S. Olympian who, at the time, became the only male athlete to win both the great 200 and 400-metre sprint at the same Olympics.?
What was the secret to his success?
It was only after he beat the 400 metres world record that Michael spoke about a “performance paradox”.
He said, “There are a lot of things you have to concentrate on in the 400, and two of them are opposites: aggression and relaxation.”
Michael disclosed a mistake he used to make in previous competitions.
He used to relax before the aggression, preventing him from setting a world record in earlier attempts.
He changed this mindset in 1984 after speaking to his then-coach, Carl Lewis.
The story goes that someone asked Carl Lewis if Michael could be beaten.
Carl replied, “so long as he (Michael) stayed relaxed and trusted that the speed would be there, no one could touch him.”?
This “both-and” paradoxical mindset led to Michael winning four gold medals in his 4th Olympics and another gold in the long jump category.
Relaxation before aggression was the weakness of Michael’s performance.?
It would have been all too easy to adopt the “either-or” conventional thinking and focus solely on aggression.
But all he needed was to accept his desire to feel relaxed and use it in a certain way to his advantage.
Michael Johnson’s story is proof that you can retain two contradicting ideas and use them simultaneously to achieve outstanding results.
In the same way, if you can integrate your weaknesses — including the dark side of your personality — you will increase your performance and individuality, which radiates authenticity.
As Robert Greene said, “by integrating the dark side into your personality, you will be a more complete human and will radiate an authenticity that will draw people to you.”
You need to learn to detect, embrace and integrate your weakness and personality’s dark side and use them as a source of great energy.
Lesson #3
You cannot achieve performance breakthroughs with linear thinking of trying harder and harder.
Instead, you should hold two apparently contradicting ideas and learn to be comfortable with them.
In Michael’s case, he did not achieve high performance by running harder but by being aggressive and relaxed simultaneously.
Unfortunately, the world we live in finds it hard to accept and act on the notion of a paradoxical mindset — the ability to hold and reflect on two contradicting ideas for a while before jumping into action.?
For example, when people believe in one ideology but sometimes act oppositely, they are called inconsistent or hypocrites.
“Don’t believe everything you think you believe.” —Kevin Kelly
That is not to say you should not act with Integrity, see for example this article.
But you need to free yourself from this misbelief and learn to develop an instinct to hold two contradictory ideas and positively use them both to hone creativity and strength.
A wiser approach is to look at other successful figures around you and in history.?
You will see a pattern: these people are/were less bound by the social stigma attached to holding contradicting ideas.?
Successful people tend to care less about what others think about them and know how to turn their flaws into strengths.?
All you need is to be bold and assertive in your approach.?
Understand: Embrace your flaws and use them to your advantage — that’s how you get extraordinary results.
Thank you for reading this newsletter!
Ready to Take the Next Step?
If you have learned something helpful from this newsletter and feel inspired by the idea of turning your apparent flaws into unique strengths, I can help you!
In an attempt to improve their performance, finance and tech professionals often focus solely on their strengths, making the classic mistake of ignoring their flaws or trying to hide them from others.
That is aggravated by perfectionists who believe imperfections need to be eliminated and overfocus on their negatives.
People tend to compartmentalise their skills and characterise them as “bad vs good” without placing them in a given context and timing.
Take the example of Peter Drucker, the management guru who, in his 1967 book “The Effective Executive”, talks about the need of an individual to focus on his/her strengths to be successful
“Focusing on strengths is development, whereas focusing on weakness is damage control.” —Peter Drucker
Such simplistic, linear thinking ideas open an industry within Corporate HR and personal development, providing unrealistic expectations and demands to people without considering the high complexity factor of… being human.
Therefore, we continue consuming “quick fixes” and “commoditised” programs in an endless rat race.
Remember: Your flaws and strengths are not absolutes but relatives that need to be contextualised in a given environment and timing. And at times, it is by combining both that creates a unique boost in performance.?
As I grow frustrated with such “commoditised” personal development programs and come across others equally frustrated, I have decided to create a customised coaching program dedicated to finance & tech professionals.
As a result, I’ve helped many professionals to recognise, embrace and turn their flaws into unique strengths through this customised coaching program.
This program is a condensed version of considerable experience and will teach you the following:
Please don’t hesitate to contact me to learn more about it.
Remember: the first step is always the most challenging one!
Nuno Reis
I am a Performance Coach. I support Finance practitioners to thrive in a world of uncertainty by developing ingenious perspectives that will boost their decision-making & performance.
Disclaimer: This newsletter does not represent the views of the author’s employer and is not financial or investment advice. It intends to be a psychological, philosophical, and systemic approach to elevate the consciousness levels in the finance & tech industries. The writer of this article wants to be gender-neutral.