"Mindset" is my Word for 2022

We are only a few days into the New Year and it already feels like the shine has worn off. Soaring covid cases, back to lockdown and my kids are back in virtual school.

Hopefully, it will all be short-lived, but we've all seen this movie before.... It would be easy to fall into a downward spiral of gloom and negativity. But I refuse. Because it's NOT 2021 all over again. We are so much further ahead than we were this time last year.

We have vaccines and treatments.

We have experience.

We know how to do this!

We are already working at home. Virtual school isn't ideal, but we know how to set it up as best as we can and show our kids that it's going to be ok.

Because not only do I know my kids will be OK through this,

this is an opportunity for them to build their resilience.

How do I know this?

Because I know how I got MY resilience. It didn't come easy. After my parents divorced there was a lot of dysfunction and moving around. Had parents living on different continents. Flew unaccompanied many times for 30 hours or more to get from one to the other. I changed schools 7 times as a kid. I can remember staying in at recess in grade school with the teacher so I didn't have to be on the playground getting bullied as the new kid. In high school that progressed to hiding in the library at lunch reading for the first month of school because nobody had spoken to me yet as the new kid in grade 11.

Each time I eventually made friends. It built my resilience. I don't want my kids to repeat my childhood - not one bit. But I know with me supporting them through this phase, they will be ok.

But first I need to make sure that I'm OK, so I can support them. I need to make sure I put my oxygen mask on first, because if I go down, we all go down.

How do you keep yourself OK when so much is going wrong?

It's all about keeping a STRONG MINDSET. Not artificially positive, just strong and resilient. I'm not even focused on growth. I'm not going to add stress to my life by pushing myself to build new skills on top of everything that's going on. I'm simply staying open to the opportunities that present themselves.

I will make this year the best it can be, whatever comes our way. It's a choice.

The only way I can do that is to keep investing in ME. That means getting enough sleep, daily walks, workouts with my trainer 2x per week. Paying attention to my stress levels. When I start feeling irritable, it's time to ask for help or pull back.

I accept that more of my time will be needed on the home front this month (or quarter, or year...). I'm grateful for the investments I made over the last 3 years to build a new career working for myself that now gives me the freedom to work when I choose. It gives me the flexibility to absorb the tough days when they happen. The tradeoff of less income for more time, health and flexibility is well worth it. (and yes I know how privileged we are as a family that I can afford to make that tradeoff!)

So what does this have to do with Kicking the Glass Ceiling? This is supposed to be a newsletter about diversity after all.

It has EVERYthing to do with it. Because Diversity means making the workplace work for all of us. Precisely because so many people can't make the tradeoff I can. And ALL of us have people we are responsible for. Home lives to make work. We need to remember that our co-workers, employees and teammates are not all in the same situations.

We are all in the same storm, just not in the same boat

If I was still in my "corporate job" boat I doubt I would have made it through last year. Something would have broken - either work, my health, or my kids. I know because that's what happened the last time I powered through intense, long-term chronic stress. When I did it all for years because I had to - the sleepless nights of babies, the exhausting politics of being the "only" woman executive in male-dominated companies, and caring for chronically and then terminally ill parents for many years.

I did what I know many of you are doing now. You just keep going because you can't see any good options. Kids need to be cared for. Work needs to get done to keep a roof over your head. You want to feel some kind of accomplishment or achievement so you throw in the things you care about on top of it. and hope it doesn't all come crashing down around you.

In my case, nothing came crashing down on any one day. The problem was I thought I was managing it. Because I seemed to be able to function on 3 hours of sleep a night, I kept doing it. The consequences of a decade of living with chronic stress, no exercise and minimal sleep snuck up on me gradually, until I couldn't get out of bed without being in pain.

Everything hurt.

All the time.

I didn't stop until my body quite literally forced me to.

And then my choices became very simple. Almost binary. Start taking a lot of heavy medication, or change my lifestyle and undo the damage I had done. Anyone who knows me knows which path I chose. I don't exercise because I love it. I exercise because I feel terrible if I don't. Every morning I have a choice to make:

1 - get up & move: feel good rest of the day

2 - skip exercise: hope I get through the day

So as we start this new year with so much uncertainty (again!), I'm focusing on what I can control. ME. I choose how I start every day, and plan out my exercise, doing work that inspires me, reading to relax, and getting enough sleep so that my tank stays as full as I can get it.

Some days the tank gets drained faster than I can fill it, but I'm constantly readjusting so I stay above half-full. Because then I can be my best ME, the one who has enough to inspire those around me to be their best. My kids, my colleagues, and hopefully you.

What are you doing to make YOUR mindset as strong as it can be? Share your tips and strategies in the comments!