MINDSET MATTERS: A POSITIVE MIND, A POSITIVE LIFE!

Mindset matters

It is not about what happens to you, it is about how you respond to what happens to you! Sometimes, what happens to you is out of your control. But what is within your control is how you respond.

Your mindset determines your attitude and behaviour. As such, a positive mind will give you a positive life. Indeed, a positive mind can be cultivated. I have experience in supporting my coachees on their journey from a negative mindset to a positive and constructive one, of course, with their willingness and determination. They felt they gained autonomy and self-efficacy after the transformation, which led to happier, and satisfied lives. In addition, they gradually developed their own ways of tackling stressful situations and restoring inner peace.

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Positive mind vs. negative mind

The half-full glass and half-empty glass mindsets are typical metaphors to describe how people perceive their surroundings. This is about perspectives: optimists tend to focus on the positives, while pessimists often dwell on the negatives.

A positive mind provides you with a positive lens to see the world.? In facing a challenging and adverse situation, a positive mind is inclined to be constructive in exploring solutions and revising strategies to find the way out.? A negative mind on the other hand tends to complain, focus on the problem and look how to apportion blame rather than working out solutions. This difference in mindsets determines differences in actions taken and therefore in the outcomes.

Focus on positive emotions and gratitude

Positive emotions are pleasant or desirable situational responses which include joy, love, pride, appreciation, optimism, satisfaction, gratitude, contentment, excitement … etc. As mentioned in one of my previous posts “Authentic Happiness – the PERMA model[1]”, positive emotions contribute to our overall happiness.

Positive Psychology advocates focusing on positive emotions and gratitude.

One must not misunderstand; the idea is not to advocate ignoring negative emotions. On the contrary, it is crucial to recognise and accept our negative emotions. It is helpful to express our feelings to someone we trust, such as family, friends, and therapists. Indeed, even optimists will suffer from doubt or feel disheartened in some situations, which is normal for humans. It is critical to accept ourselves by acknowledging our weaknesses and allowing time and space for our body and mind to recover from setbacks. The experience in overcoming challenges equips us for tackling and overcoming difficult situations in the future.

Focusing on positive emotions encourages individuals to recognize and appreciate the positive event, which leads to gratitude and a sense of well-being. Gratitude means having a grateful heart, an appreciation of the present moment and being mindful of what is good in their lives.

A helpful exercise is to write down positive events or things we feel grateful for each day. The objective is to train our brains to raise awareness of positives surrounding us and train the brain away from the negative interpretation bias.?Usually, individuals are inclined to pay more attention to negative events leading to overthinking and anxiety, draining their energy. As a result, they lose sight of the positives that still exist in their life.

Sometimes, it takes time and effort to eliminate negative emotions. It is important to consciously remind ourselves that worrying doesn’t help to improve the situation and that it is more constructive to channel attention and energy to actions and strategies that can bring us closer to a resolution. This tactic can significantly reduce our concentration to negative emotions, resulting in broadening our mindset, enhancing the feeling of control, and having positive self-efficacy.

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Life’s challenges are integral parts of one’s life

Individuals with a positive mindset believe life’s challenges are an integral and unavoidable part of their life journey. They maintain optimism, keep exploring solutions and trust a better situation will eventually emerge even when they are entangled in difficult circumstances. They also view them as an opportunity to learn and grow.

Cultivating a positive and constructive mindset

When encountering life's challenges, pessimists focus on the problem while optimists focus on solutions. Pessimists choose to stay away from the problem without mentioning or solving it. However, this may make the problem bigger and more difficult to resolve. Some complain about being unlucky and worry about worse scenarios. This leads to heightened anxiety and does nothing to improve the situation.

The only constructive way is to channel energy towards exploring solutions and navigating a way out. Even when sometimes that way out seems elusive, a well-built positive mindset will help to move away from frustration and appreciate every small step towards improvement.

Cultivating a positive and constructive mindset is pivotal to escaping from an entangling situation. A change in mindset is a meaningful step towards a happier and more satisfying life.

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Positive Reframing

Positive reframing, one of the crucial concepts in Positive Psychology, encourages us to revisit negative events with a positive perspective. The idea involves reinterpreting a challenging situation positively, offering a way to shift our mindset.

Negative experiences cause distress but also present learning opportunities. Therefore, when we encounter a painful event, we should remind ourselves not to allow the negatives overshadow the whole situation.

Positive reframing emphasises recognising positive outcomes. When I encountered difficult people in life or at work, I always reflected on what I could learn from them. Meeting people very different from us brings in new perspectives. I used to be very efficient in producing my work as I thought timing was pivotal. One of my bosses, who was very cautious, always requested to consult with more people, delaying my?research publication, which led to my frustration. While I?cared most about the timing of the launch of?a new idea, my boss was concerned about criticism.?He explained to me that he believed that we should deliver extraordinarily high-quality?research and that imperfections could undermine its impact and recognition.?This led me to revisit my work progress and understand the skill I should hone - patience. By not stressing too much about efficiency, I saw a?new?learning opportunity and valuable perspective.?From then on, allowed more time for my ideas to?marinate, which usually led to my finding of new perspectives and strengthening my arguments.

Typically, when one chapter ends another begins. Letting go of someone or something negative or unsuitable reserves space for someone or something better to enter our lives. When my previous company asked me to change my role to a compliance offer, it took me a weekend to move on. After experiencing many hierarchy changes over the past two decades, I knew it was my turn. I was excited about my new journey and wanted to know what my next chapter would be. I thank myself for spending time reading so I developed a flexible mindset towards life changes, and one of the authors also inspired me to be a blogger. At that point, I got an idea to become a life coach and a writer.

Unfortunately, not everyone manages to overcome their hurdles quickly. Those who entangle themselves for a prolonged period may even end up depressed or suicidal. Hence, positive reframing serves as a reminder to those stuck in challenging situations to maintain optimism and trust that encouraging situations will emerge.

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Overcoming adversity strengthens confidence

Once an individual rebounds from adversity, their confidence will strengthen. As a result, their resilience is enhanced and results in a tougher mindset, allowing them to endure and overcome more challenging situations in the future.

In my 40s, when I faced a career setback and found raising kids not straightforward, I thought my thinking was inflexible. I started reading books about positive psychology, enneagram, and parenting, which were inspiring. Those books helped me to broaden my knowledge, expand my horizons and tune into the right mindset. I learned that when I couldn’t change the situation, I could change my attitude and make my life happier. When I learned about fixed and growth mindsets a few years ago, I realised facing hurdles helped me develop my growth mindset. The challenging period and my experiences in overcoming obstacles have formed the foundation of my coaching.

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My coaching and writing

In my coaching, one of my goals is to help people tune to a positive, constructive and growth mindset. Besides, I wish to create meaningful impacts via my posts and articles. Indeed, life is full of ups and downs, there are happy moments, challenges and setbacks.? This combination enriches our life so that we can enjoy, learn and grow. Without difficulties, we won’t grow, gain confidence and become a better person.

Our attitude towards life comes from our way of thinking. When facing life difficulties, staying optimistic and maintaining a positive and constructive mindset helps you to get through a difficult patch and ultimately a positive mind will give you a positive life.

[1] The PERMA Model is developed by Dr Martin Seligman which identified five elements to contribute to happiness, they are Positive Emotions, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Achievement.