Mindset Matters: How Self-Talk Can Build or Destroy Your Confidence

Did you know that the way you talk to yourself can either be a construction crew building you up or a wrecking ball tearing you down? Your self-talk is the cornerstone of your self-concept, shaping your thoughts, beliefs, and evaluations about yourself. It's a powerful force that can either boost or destroy your self-confidence.

If you talk to yourself negatively, you will damage your self-concept and when your self-concept is screwed up it will take a lot of work to undo that.????

Let's delve into the mechanics of it.

Self-talk is the dialogue you create in your mind, and through repetition, it generates emotions in your body. Over time, a thought with associated feelings transforms into a belief, influencing your actions and, consequently, your results.

For instance, repeatedly affirming, "I can do it," activates your brain's Reticular Activating System (RAS), prompting it to seek evidence supporting your capability. Conversely, telling yourself you can't activates the RAS to find proof of your limitations. It's a two-way street.

I see people almost every day who talk to themselves negatively. They are not aware that their self-talk holds them back from being or getting what they want.

I once spoke to a woman and asked her a question about her vision for success; I just wanted to know if she had a vision or not. She said: ‘’Success is not for me’’. With such negative self-talk, it's unlikely she'll pursue success.

Choose your words wisely, as every utterance has the power to either build you up or tear you down. Scientifically, words are proven to impact our bodies, reflecting the energy—positive or negative—they carry.

Here's a simple exercise to demonstrate this power. Follow the steps below:

Place your hands together with palms facing up. Do you see those horizontal lines at the bottom of your palms? Choose the first top line for each hand and align them precisely, then bring your palms together. You'll likely observe that one of your middle fingers is slightly longer. For some, both may be the same, and that's perfectly normal.

Now, lower the hand with the longer finger and hold the other one in front of your face. If your middle fingers are equal, select one hand and place the other down. Focus on the middle finger and audibly say, eight times: "Grow longer." Ready? Speak it aloud, "Grow longer, grow longer..."

Next, line your hands up again as before. You'll notice the previously shorter middle finger has now extended beyond the other one. To return it to its original length, repeat the process with the same hand, saying aloud six times: "Back to normal." Ready? Go! "Back to normal, back to normal..."

Once more, align your hands as before. Can you see the difference?

This simple exercise vividly illustrates how words can influence perception and, potentially, reality.

The point is, the words you choose can alter the course of your destiny. Never tell yourself you're not enough or can't do something, as this creates emotional baggage and limiting beliefs. Instead, opt for empowering words. Positive self-talk, repeated consistently, transforms feelings into beliefs, elevating self-esteem and boosting self-confidence.

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?Uncover Your Highest Values

This step-by-step worksheet is designed to guide you in uncovering your highest values. By aligning your life with your values, you’ll not only boost your self-confidence but also increase your true self-worth. It’s a transformative tool that will empower you to elevate your identity, standards, and life choices, enabling you to make bold decisions and set goals that are congruent with what matters most to you. [Download the worksheet here to get started!]