A Mindset of Generosity

A well known meditation teacher, Joseph Goldstein, once said to me, "I listen to every generous impulse and act accordingly." He went on to explain that money is just one of many ways to be generous.

Generosity includes your time, skills, non-financial resources, attention, and even your attitude. It's about embracing a mindset that thrives on the feeling of being generous without expecting anything in return.

A fundamental principle in Buddhism is the idea of not clinging or non-attachment. Whenever we are generous, we are essentially loosening our attachment to something, whether it’s a fixed idea, a material possession, or even a desire to change a problematic person or thing. For example, this could manifest as letting go of incessant self-judgment, the reflexive look at our phones because we’re bored, or the grasping for yet another chocolate chip cookie.

This isn't just a lofty idea—it's a profound practice. The more we learn to soften our grasp on something, the more we enrich and widen our experience of life. Not clinging is really about letting go of our fixed expectations of ourselves, others, and situations, and an acceptance of things as they are.

Pause for a moment and sense the difference between a clenched fist and an open hand. There’s a big difference, right? It’s like the difference between clinging steadfastly to an idea (clenched fist) versus recognizing that another perspective might be beneficial (open fist). It’s the difference between expecting a colleague/friend to change (clenched fist) versus affirming who they are. You can also try exhibiting, in stealth mode, the qualities you would like to see this person cultivate (open fist).

Research shows that we gain more happiness from giving than from receiving. People who give to others, whether through time, effort, or resources, report greater happiness and life satisfaction. And this happiness from giving is not limited to financial generosity - it also extends to volunteering and other forms of prosocial behavior, with benefits observed across diverse cultures. It turns out that the age-old adage "it's better to give than to receive" has strong scientific backing, revealing generosity as a fundamental aspect of human nature that nurtures our well-being.

With all of this evidence, let’s explore how to cultivate a mindset of generosity. Here are 5 ways to nurture your generous spirit:

1. Look for opportunities at home and/or at work to offer time, money, skills, attention to others. When we give, we secretly tell our brains that we already have enough. This shifts us from a mindset of scarcity to one of sufficiency.
2. Practice letting go of a recirculating thought or doing a frivolous internet search at least once a day. When you fixate on an idea, it’s similar to grasping, whereas letting go generates a more expansive feeling, similar to the feeling of generosity.
3. Practice letting go of buying something online by waiting 3 days to see if you still desire to have it. You may find that your priorities have changed in that short space of time.? Many of my clients have reported that their expenditures have decreased as a result of doing this.
4. Imagine what a physical posture and gait of generosity would look like and start walking as if you’re the most generous person alive today. I bet you’ll find it really hard to do this without smiling.
5. Listen generously in your next conversation; let go of planning your response and interrupting with words, gestures, or private thoughts. Let your body and mind fully receive what the other person is saying. (This is a deep listening skill that we practice at the Mindful Advisor Retreat.)

Joseph went on to say that "Generosity is the path to abundance" describing abundance as a wellspring of vitality and happiness. And, I would add that when we’re operating from this mindset, we tend to make wiser business, financial, and personal decisions. The groundbreaking work of Daniel Kahneman sheds light on this phenomenon, illustrating how fear—an antithesis to generosity—often leads us down the path of less wise financial choices.

I have become inspired by Joseph’s pledge - I listen to every generous impulse and act accordingly - and I'm committing to take it on as an ongoing practice. There’s power in doing it together. Are you willing to take this pledge with me?

Tajitsu, an 18th century Japanese nun said "I unclenched the fist in my mind and fell into the midst of everything." Sounds pretty good to me!