Mindset Is Everything

I know one global leader who got up to the eighth Grade and yet he has led a multi-million-rand organization for decades. I know another multimillionaire friend who has been having car dealerships and selling properties for many years and yet he told me that he never finished at high school. Success therefore does not depend on the academic background one has acquired although academic studies is not a bad thing. In my experience, what usually stops people from pursuing their goals and dreams is a negative mindset. We must step out and try something new even if it feels unfamiliar and scary. It is like stepping onto the water, not knowing how deep or shallow the water is. Oliver Wendell Holmes said, “A mind, once expanded by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions.”

The thoughts you have about yourself have an impact on how you carry yourself and show up. When possible, I like watching Dr Caroline Leaf on TV, a neurosurgeon who is South African now based in America. She is the author of “Who Switched off my brain” and many other books. At her presentations she displays two trees, one green and the other one dry. She explains how your mind is like a tree: your positive thoughts cause the green leaves to grow and negative thoughts cause more dry leaves on your tree. Our negative thoughts feed the dryness and our positive thoughts feed the greenery. Thoughts determine our behavior which determines our habits and actions which ultimately determine our life. If you constantly have toxic thoughts, ask for help – don’t stop until you get it. Even though it is hard, it is worth doing.

You must go on a mental diet – change the negative thoughts into positive. Focus on a positive thought even when you are disappointed. Take the 7-day challenge of positive thoughts. You will start feeling like you are different, and others will notice this too.

In life you do not get what you want but you get who you are. We may not read your thoughts, but the actions always show what you have been thinking about. To change the outcome, you need to change who you are on the inside. I have heard someone in business saying that to change your company you must change the CEO’s mindset, or if he or she does not want to change, then replace that CEO. This will not be easy but stick it out even when you go through tough times. Winners never quit; quitters never win. Tell yourself you may not know how you are going to win but you deserve to win. Stay positive no matter what.

Think like the person you want to become. See yourself living your dream life. It is said that the universe does not give you what you want but who you are on the inside.

When you focus your thoughts on living a successful life, wealth is usually part of the package. Look at Nelson Mandela – he had told himself that it is possible for South Africa to change its apartheid policies.

My friend, remember that the most powerful resource you have right now is your mind, hence the enemy of your success fights you in your thought life. It is the battlefield of the mind. My mentor likes to tell us that your mind is a garden, and your thoughts are seeds. You get to choose the seeds to plant, meaning you choose the thoughts you want to keep in your mind. If you can see yourself winning in your mind, you will win in the natural realm. The opposite is also true.

?I used to have a friend based in Arkansas, USA. He is an attorney by profession; he was in the same law class as President Bill Clinton. My friend explained that whenever he had a court case, he would prepare himself the night before, ensure that he studied the case very well, and play out the court case and see himself winning the case. The following day in court, he practiced exactly what he had rehearsed the night before, and ninety percent of the time he would win the case just like he saw himself in the night.

Stop discrediting yourself, thinking that other successful people are special or extraordinary. They are ordinary people who choose to do extraordinary things every day. If you choose to do extraordinary things in your life, you will become extraordinary. One author said, “He who says he can, and he who says he can’t are both right.” See yourself as someone that acts, that’s how you build courage.

At the end of the day success is about the thoughts that you allow in your mind. Some people have accomplished great things because the passion they had to succeed overcame any fear. The question is, would you behave differently if you knew for sure that you were not going to fail?

Choose to disrupt your life. Disrupt your soil because for you to get new things you must do this: You must unlearn what is not right and replace what you took out with new, positive thoughts.

Your greatest breakthroughs could be unlearning stuff that you have nursed in your subconscious mind. Do not give the story of your past power over you. Decide to change your story.

Step into a new way of thinking.

In life you will experience failure, but it does not mean you are a failure, neither does it mean the end. It means you can try again because what happened is subject to change. I like what one of my mentors said about failure. She said that successful people succeed because they have failed many times until they succeed, and their success is what people see. They have not seen the many failures that happened before. Successful people fail many times and still get up. Never make getting up after failure an option. I have three words for you – refuse to fail. Always get up. In life you will sometimes hit bumps on your road to success but that does not mean it is the end of the road.

Never make getting up after failure an option.

??????????? When you hit a speed bump, it just means you may drive slower, but you continue with your journey. Do not quit after failing, find out what you learned and what to improve. Refuse to stay as a failure. It is never over until you give up and stop trying. Someone said: In life you will have a thousand chances and when you get to 999 you get a chance to press the reset button, meaning you now have once more a thousand chances, so you cannot give up.

Refuse limitations you have accepted unconsciously! Fail forward. It may mean you have to ask for help but refuse to fail permanently. It may mean you rearrange your priorities and go on but don’t quit. Also remember that being wrong is not a fatal disease. The last time I checked, there was no perfect individual.

Face what caused the failure, or the delays in your life, or in your business, and address it. Do not sit in your setback. Let your setback be a set-up for your comeback. You need to process what happened. This is why one of the first steps to bouncing back after a major setback is first allowing yourself to process your thoughts and address your feelings of disappointment. Tell yourself you know that this happened, but you are okay with it. Unless you tell yourself, nobody will tell you.

Remember you are getting clues all the time.

It is in your imperfection that you help other imperfect people because it is not about how perfect you are but how you made it despite the imperfection. This is the reason why others are looking up to you. Sometimes it is in overcoming your breakdown that you help other people have a breakthrough.?

It is in overcoming your breakdown that you help other people have a breakthrough. Remember that.

With a love for entrepreneurship, Daphne has been featured in Oprah Winfrey’s “O Magazine SA”. She has been nominated as one of 2020’s Extraordinary Businesswomen and was the CEO of Technology for Women in Business, under the Dti. She is a mother, an author, entrepreneur, and a minister. She has lived in both SA and USA. Her book, “Climbing the Ladder of Success” has been translated into 6 languages. Her passion and expertise are self-mastery skills and personal worth. She is the founder & chairperson of Leading Women Network, helping women living with abuse, to recognize their value and validate the power of their dreams.?