Mindfulness Helps Us Navigate Triggers

Mindfulness helps us navigate triggers. Both kinds of triggers. The triggers that happen in an instant. These, where you can now CHOOSE how to react instead of having that knee jerk reaction. An example would be traffic when someone cuts you off… choosing to relax and say “wow, they must be in a hurry - who knows what is going on with them? - glad I got out of the way” Instead of flashing them the finger and cursing and getting upset, and letting it influence the rest of your day. And then there are triggering dates or experiences from the past that you know are upcoming. This week, I am so deeply grateful for my mindfulness and meditation practice as it is one with many “grief date” triggers. Thursday the 9th, marks 4 years since, my mom, who was my best friend and my example of unconditional love transitioned. Mother’s Day is this Sunday - it is the first without my mom AND where I won’t be seeing my kids in person. There is a celebration of life this weekend for a friend of my son’s who passed who I adored. Next week on the 16th is the birthday of someone I called brother for most of my life, who passed brutally before my mom. Sooooooo…. I am very aware these dates could hold some triggers and emotions, but can choose to mindfully nurture myself and also focus on gratitude. Grief is, after all caused because of all the love that I have gotten to experience.

I have been meditating 1222 days in a row as of today. That is DUE to my mom passing. We spoke every morning. After she passed there was this void of that peace, laughter and joy she brought to me each and every morning for 50 years. I had tried to get a daily meditation practice going for over 15 years, but it was not until she passed, that I had that motivation. This practice has it helped me in countless ways in my life. It is a non negotiable.. even when I’ve been sick, away on vacation or whatever other “excuse” I could have easily used. I thank my mom for this meditation practice daily, and it is another way I honor her and all the beauty she gave me. I bask in gratitude for having such a loving mom in my life - who brought me so much laughter, AMAAAZING Italian cooking and recipes, endless wisdom and insights, taught me how to love dancing, music and entertaining friends, inspired my love of writing poetry, long walks in nature and so much more. I am so grateful my kids got to know her so well and know she is still an inspiration to them in so many ways. And then there are my kids… wow what cool adults they have turned into (21 and 24 years old). I got to see them both recently and am always impressed at how intelligent, authentic, grounded and together they are. I feel the same about my partner’s two daughters. All 4 of our kids have amazing partners, are happy and boy they’ve lived through a challenging time!? I might not be with them in person but I get to bask in the love I have for all of them and their partners and what amazing people they are.?

When we are mindful, we GET to CHOOSE our reality. We get to infuse self-care into these triggering times. I have taken off on Thursday (the 9th) to honor my mom. I will play her albums, write, dance and possibly make one of her meals or a favorite cocktail… the day will be about the love. Yup, tears probably will come - but even that is a celebration of the love we shared and still share. There isn’t a day where I don’t reflect on just how lucky I was to have her influence on me and how it still continues. I aspire to be the love she was for so many.?

I am grateful for the support I have this week - my fiancé, my family, my friends and know even if I don’t communicate with all of them - I feel that love.? And I am choosing to not push myself through, or numb out, but rather sink into that love that I have had the pleasure of having as I put extreme self care into place. ?

Do you have triggers - maybe seeing a family member that gets on your nerves, grief dates, commuting in traffic?? How can you nurture and honor yourself through those times? How can you choose to react differently and create more peace and space in your life? How can you choose love?? We all have this ability and we all deserve that peace. I am sending so much love your way! Thank you for being on this journey with me!!?