Mindful Whiteness

I am a white male; for several decades I’ve benefited from the exclusion of others and exclusionary workplace practices; I didn’t know it and I ask myself what I would have done if I’d realized. Today I find myself wanting to contribute to raising awareness and helping end exclusion.

When I think of groups that have been excluded at an executive level I’m talking about women, people of color, members of the LGBT community, along with other components of identity like religion, age, disability; it’s not necessarily been overt and had we realized it I believe the leadership teams I’ve worked in would have stepped up and done something. Some have taken steps by establishing affinity groups, creating mentorship programs, providing awareness training, etc.; however, looking back it wasn’t enough, it never was enough.

I find myself with a significant level of discomfort in writing this. It’s not for fear of saying out loud that I’ve benefited; it’s about how others will react. I feel I’m laying myself vulnerable to attack from those who lack empathy for this level of honesty or my understanding that this is ongoing, it is a journey and not a destination. 

Earlier this year I took Cornell’s Certificate in Diversity & Inclusion. It both raised my awareness and gave me tools to understand my ingrained biases – now the hard work begins in changing. Maybe this is analogous to addiction – where the first step is admission. I’m taken back to work that I started in 2008 to raise corporate awareness related to human trafficking. When I started having conversations none of the CEOs wanted to discuss it for fear of having their company linked with it in the press – even though many were doing great work in the space – they didn’t want to poke their heads above the parapet for fear of being targeted!

Why does this matter to me? Close to home is the fact that I am lucky enough to have a gay son, over recent years I’ve had conversations with him where I’ve felt inadequate for not asking about his struggles, not protecting him in some way (not that I probably could have done), being 100% supportive but not seeking a deeper level of understanding. Further afield as I’ve traveled the world for business and pleasure, I’ve seen so many groups of people excluded or labeled because of ethnicity, class structure, immigrant status, and race.

“The beauty of anti-racism is that you don’t have to pretend to be free of racism to be an anti-racist. Anti-racism is the commitment to fight racism wherever you find it, including in yourself. And it’s the only way forward.” – Ijeoma Oluo, Nigerian American writer. 

So, what am I doing to overcome my unconscious biases? How can I practice what I’m calling “mindful whiteness”? For a start, I accept the idea that I am biased. Then I’m seeking to:

• See multiple perspectives
• Reflect on the past
• Give attention to those who don’t look like me. Actively seek them out for conversation
• When I jump to a conclusion about a person, pausing, and reflecting on why I’m thinking/feeling that way
• Reading
• Constantly being inquisitive

Our world is highly judgmental but as I genuinely seek to understand, I hope to be allowed to stumble in good faith.