Mindful Vulnerability

We’ve all experienced the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon, otherwise known as frequency illusion.  It’s a recency bias.  Like when I started to always notice that car my neighbor suggested I buy, because after all, he had one. 

I would always think, ‘wow it must be a great car’ every time I saw one on the road.  Of course, in my mind the town of Canton, Connecticut was clearly the leading sales zip for Jeep Grand Cherokees that month.  I was missing out big time on a reasonably priced, sporty utility that looked sharp. I happened to need a car.  I bought one.  Eighteen months later, I sold one.  

It was a frequency illusion.

That’s all necessary back story that will reinforce what I’m about to share.  That is, I’m prone to these brief periods of obsession.  Maybe obsession is too strong but I would certainly concede to at least periods of a high focus on just one thing.  That’s been the case for the past few weeks of my life and it has been one single word.  Vulnerability.

I feel like I’ve been blitz with the word vulnerability in all domains of human interaction.  Conversations, memes, LinkedIn posts, videos, you name it. The vulnerability of our brothers and sisters in the Bahamas hit by Hurricane Dorian to the vulnerability of our fragile American experiment.  Of course, there’s the vulnerability of human flaw, the vulnerability of our personal security and as is invariably a theme in a capitalistic society, the risk of economic vulnerability.

“Vulnerability is the only authentic state. Being vulnerable means being open, for wounding, but also for pleasure. Being open to the wounds of life means also being open to the bounty and beauty. Don’t mask or deny your vulnerability: it is your greatest asset. Be vulnerable: quake and shake in your boots with it. the new goodness that is coming to you, in the form of people, situations, and things can only come to you when you are vulnerable, i.e. open.”

― Stephen Russell, Barefoot Doctor's Guide to the Tao: A Spiritual Handbook for the Urban Warrior

Avoidance or Acceptance

There are millions of people in the world susceptible to risk related to geographic region and or human crisis.   Of course, most among us have been involuntarily vulnerable at some point in our lives even though we may seek to avoid the risk of harm when possible. 

But it’s another thing entirely to willfully put yourself in harm’s way.   That is, to be mindfully vulnerable emotionally or physically.   Just ask any of our brave military and emergency services members.

While ordinary citizens don’t put their lives on the line, they’re often faced with moments that force consequential decisions.  Decisions that will likely have a ripple effect on their future and possibly the future of those they love.  Undoubtedly, the largest decisions require a choice between acceptance or avoidance of that vulnerability.  

It might be deciding to interview for a promotion and being subject to greater accountability and stress.  Maybe some among us want to start a business that requires a large capital investment, sweat equity and time away from loved ones. No matter the scenario, what’s most important is how we respond at these critical inflection points in life.  Do we avoid or accept?

To be dissuaded by fear is to live weak and without purpose.  To be mindful of risks yet unwavering in your task is to unlock true power. 

Instinctually we might presume the greatest obstacle in these moments is the fear of exposure to any number of consequences from humiliation to larger responsibilities.  It’s logical why some people would choose to avoid those potential negative outcomes.  While those are valid considerations, the truth is simply that all decisions of magnitude (we’re well beyond the decision to buy a particular type of car) must be guided by our ultimate aim and congruent with our belief system.  Not having one is the true obstacle.

Without a clear vision of purpose it’s easy to avoid pain and inevitably fail to succeed. Because after all, pain and failure are key components of any successful person’s résumé. The question is do you want it bad enough?

As one of the key points in his book Exponential Organizations, Dr. Salim Ismail stresses how critical higher aspirational purpose is for organizations.

“You have to be self-aware and look for that startup idea and purpose that is a perfect fit with you—with you as a person, not as a business [person].” 

― Salim Ismail, Exponential Organizations: Why new organizations are ten times better, faster, and cheaper than yours

To that end, if there is alignment with purpose on a personal level, the choice between avoidance and acceptance isn’t really much of a choice at all.  For example, making money in my above scenarios would simply be a result, not the purpose.  However, putting oneself in a position to better serve his or her community by providing an inclusive business dedicated to increase health and fitness would be a very specific and admirable purpose.  The natural fears that come along with such an endeavor are no match for the greater good.

It’s counter intuitive but mindful vulnerability is not a weakness.   In fact, it can be a tremendous strength when we allow meaning, gratitude and appreciation to run our lives on a daily basis and express it through our actions and choices.

Go out and be great and don’t be limited by fear but be guided by your true purpose!