Mindful Road Rage
I live in one of the biggest cities in the world where pretty much all you need to get a driving license is your ID, 450 pesos ($23), and to be (mostly) sober.?
On a typical day in the city, you’re likely to see several near misses and a few who weren’t so lucky parked at the side of the road.
Suffice to say, driving anywhere here is not for the light-hearted.?
Living and driving in such a place, with my British-issued license, it’s easy for me to be behind the wheel and feel like I’m on my high horse, sitting and waiting to point out every single one of the terrible and shocking habits of the drivers.
Sometimes this is unavoidable. And fun.?
Like when a 22-year-old comes plowing through in their mom’s mama van and gets stuck trying to get through a gap big enough for a mini.?
That’s pretty satisfying.?
But most of the time, it’s not fun.
Despite this, I still rain down comments from my metal throne. And when I do, it still feels like I’m eternally right and winning.?
Stupid Mexican drivers.
But the fact is, even if I may be 100% correct in the laws of the road, I’m always losing.?
Because I’m the one who ends up more stressed, bitter, and resentful.?
Projecting my expectations of how people?should?drive and how the world?should?be is just setting myself and whoever I’m with up for a frustrating journey.
But still, sometimes I just can’t help myself.?
Yesterday a guy decides to cross the road out of nowhere, phone in one hand coffee in the other, and I was compelled to beep in his face.?
It doesn’t matter if I was right or wrong, what matters is I left feeling worse.
We live on a narrow one-way street. Today I backed out of the garage and typically the cars coming down the road see us backing out and wait at the passing point until we pass. Three cars on three occasions decided to come straight toward us and we had to reverse and find a place where they could pass us.
It doesn’t matter if I was right or wrong, what matters is I left feeling worse.?
I lost.
This type of thing always happens on the occasions when I’m dead set on nothing other than getting where I’m going.?
The plan is just to arrive and anything that gets in the way, threatens, or somehow delays that is a mortal enemy.?
These moments are a potent warning sign.
If that’s how I act when simply driving to the shops, oblivious to the fact I live in a world with other sentient beings with their own needs and lives, then chances are I’m acting like that in other moments of life.
When eating dinner with the kids, am I just concerned with finishing my meal as quickly as possible?
When working, am I just rushing around and trying to get to the end of the day?
When going for a walk in nature, am I just focused on getting to the destination as quickly as possible?
Telling some random guy in a suit he’s a “douchebag” for crossing the road may make me feel righteous and superior for a split second.
But ultimately, it’s a reminder to slow the heck down.?
Not just on the road, but in every single moment of life.?
What are we rushing through, what are we missing, and who are we hurting or offending, all in the name of trying to get to some?other?place?
The problem isn’t setting goals or going places, but, just like in the car, the automatic modes we get stuck in. These modes help us get stuff done, but they can also cause us to lose sight of what we really care about and not be present for much of our lives.
Your life can be one big, long, neverending traffic jam full of idiots who don’t know how to drive.
Or, it can be one big, long adventure full of teachers and lessons that remind you when you need to slow down, practice patience, appreciate the moment more, think more about others, and take more time for yourself.?
So, thanks to all the “douchebag” drivers in my life for continuing to teach me and provide me with valuable lessons. Even if I don’t see them at the time.